Hi all,
Second day GF, lying in bed thinking and trying to make sense......of why I gambled for 27 years when it has destroyed everything in my path, my time, family relationships, money, memories, it affects and rips apart Everything!
I may never fully find the answer it could be various reasons as I did come from a chaotic childhood, broken home, family addictions, loss people, depression and anxiety any one of those could be trigger, but then I know people who have had an amazing life and still compulsive gambling, I have to fully accept I have a deadly serious addiction that will kill me if I don't make the decision to stop for good! Gambling will never better or fix my life , it's all baffling lies in my head which I fooled myself for 27 believing I could gamble normally or win back all the money i lost, I have continued to live this way for 27 years and lost over 100k along the way along with precious time and memories I will never get back unless I stop now.
I have been coming on this forum and I can resonate with every one of you and I feel your pain and sorrow and god the frustration of trying to stop!! I know I am not alone, as we're all in this together, let's keep fighting to get our lives back fellow members, we can beat this addiction and were all on the same boat trying to reach the land of recovery.
Take care
Gambling free
I feel your pain... I could go on for pages about the lost years, lost kids, holidays that never happened...
But they are gone. What you have is the rest of your life to do something with...
I can not have my life back, but I can warn others from going down the same path, and maybe save a few along the way...
Am also involved in drug and alcohol recovery and it is always the same story...
One story that inspired me was about a guy in NA. They started holding a meeting in a prison in America by video link. (In NA they give key rings to mark days, months years etc)
During the meeting, one guy asked if he could have his 90 day key ring at the meeting even though he was only 83 days clean...
When asked why he should have it a week early he replied that he was being executed the next day...
That really shocked me to the core as to what it really means to get clean or free of addiction...the pride, self respect, to live clean and in the end die a free man, (or woman!) even in prison.
It has to become the most important and special thing in our lives...
It is a struggle, and you are right, ultimately our lives depend on it.
Like they say in Game of Thrones, 'Win or die'
Be a winner.
Yep mate, almost me you could be talking about, secret is to accept it's gone and the future is they key.
Good luck, this is a battle.
We all know the saying look back at your past but don't stay there. Gambling has taken away ten years of my life literally. Destroyed relationships turned me Into some one I didn't like. But thankfully with the right help and support I will be dammed if it's going to destroy my future. What's gone is gone my friend. You have to accept that and move on. It's a hard daily struggle but so worth it.
I think the best piece of advice - or truth - I ever received from someone was that we are ultimately in control of our decisions. This gambling addiction stinks, but a big part of the struggle is that I'm only too happy to give into it because I think I can deal with the consequences.
You can get your life back at the click of a finger (or a few mouse clicks) if you want it to be. Genuinely (SENSE and Gamstop)
This is a very simple way to think of it - but if I knew that if I gambled a loved one would die, I'd never gamble. So this addiction has a lot of subjective built in clauses that helps to justify itself.
When we gamble, we create the idea of controlled damage in our heads - which we are happy to live with. So, at the time, the risks must seem worth it. We suffer a big loss and gambling becomes this beast. We win a big win and gambling is our goddess.
If you want to stop you must join Gamstop and SENSE and exclude from all bookies in your area. Then you'll be dealing with limited potential damage going forward.
Good morning Equinox
It is great that you are finding SENSE and Gamstop so useful. Many people also find blocking software extremely helpful in stopping access to online gambling sites and one we recommend is Gamban, because independent evaluation found it to be highly effective. We have partnered with Gamble Aware to be able to offer this software free for a year (normally £9.99) and you can download it on up to three devices. Please contact the HelpLine on 0808 8020 133 to get the promotional code.
Best wishes
Forum Admin
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