I’ve really messed up once again

Start your recovery with Gamcare, they actually do care get all your blocks in place come to the chat sort out therapy through Gamcare sorted. You can stop this addiction if you really want to best wishes

Evening,

Really sorry you are feeling how you currently do, but well done for coming on here looking for support.

4 months ago I had to break to my wife that I had replased and built up debt. I felt like my world was ending and at times I did feel like ending it all.

Fast forward 4 months, i have been attending regular sessions with breakeven which has helped massively.

My family is still a unit(my wife has been amazing) we have sold our home and now moving to our dream forever home.

mentally I’m in a much better space, I have an open relationship with money, everything is transparent with my wife.

i do more with my kids and am enjoying life.

Recovery is hard, gambling is always there, tv, radio, fb adverts it is everywhere. 
seek help from charities. 

I would love to help anyone out, like peer aid.

my councilor had asked if I would do a podcast on my experience, it’s something I would love to. Always here to chat.

Im 44 years old. Im 432 days gamble free. If you had asked me 433 days ago I would have told you that I didn't think I would ever be free from this. I honestly thought I was going to be a gambler til the day I died - i was completely lost to it. 

I was in debt, my credit score wasn't great and I was eaten up with guilt and shame. 

Now, we are about to exchange on a new, bigger home, my credit score is excellent, I have no debt and my relationship with money is mended.  I am no longer sick of myself, no guilt and shame and no lying or taking time away from my family. 

The only.thing still recovering is my nervous system. After 25 years of being stuck in fight or flight mode, it's taking its time to settle. 

I hope to never be in the position I got myself into. I still think of gambling very occasionally, the battle still isn't over but it's now so small that it's barely a battle at all. Saying that though, I still guard my sobriety, no risky positions and I talk about it. 

Shame thrives in darkness, bring it into the light and it disappears! 

Take care, 

Clover

I completely understand how you’re feeling — the anxiety, the fear of slipping, the worry about messing up again. I’m still very early in my own recovery journey, just one month and ten days in, but even in that short time I can see how different things can start to feel.

A month and eleven days ago my life honestly felt like it was falling apart. I was on the brink of having my house repossessed, every bill was in arrears, I was drowning in debt, and I was lying to everyone around me just to borrow money I couldn’t pay back. I felt ashamed, terrified, and exhausted. But something in me just snapped — I’d had enough of living like that.

Reaching out to GamCare was the best thing I’ve ever done. The support has been unbelievable, completely life-changing. And over this past week especially, I’ve noticed a real shift. My urges have finally started to calm down, and for the first time I genuinely believe I won’t gamble again. That doesn’t mean it’s easy — but it’s possible.

If I can give you one piece of advice, it’s this: be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes. Most of us on this journey will relapse at some point. What matters isn’t perfection — it’s how quickly you get back on track. I read something recently that really stuck with me:

“It’s okay to miss once, but don’t miss twice.”

We’re human — we might slip. But the danger is slipping again straight after, because that’s when a slip starts to turn back into a habit. So if you wobble, stop it there. Reset. Reach out. Start again immediately. That’s strength, not failure.

You’re not alone in this. You can do this. You’ve already shown courage just by speaking up here. Keep going, keep reaching out, and keep being gentle with yourself. We’re all walking this path alongside you