Hello all,Â
A little bit about me, compulsive gambler have been for well over a year. Slowly spiralled out of control gambling causing a large amount of debt. My long term partner found out recently and i'm glad she did, it's my catalyst for change. My depression caused gambling and gambling caused depression, viscious cycle.
There is a chance my relationship won't recover, she's unsure if she can trust me ever again which i understand from her point and i hope to make it right.Â
This situation has changed my perception of everything, i've blocked absolutely everything now, i know if i gamble once more that's a certain my relationship is gone.Â
Thats my intro! i hope to embark on my journey with everyone and will use this forum!Â
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Hi Free
There is a lot of insight in your words and I can hear the determination. Day one is the most important day as it's the day I finally admitted to myself and others that I had a problem
I'm far from being an expert, well only in losing money and being chained to my addiction for 44 years. That said, I lost my job and knew I couldn't just switch the light off so I've spent 16 hours a day on my recovery, one benefit to not having a job.
I took put the blocks in place and my first through was excellent, I can't gamble anymore. Then I came crashing down to my own realisation that I can't gamble but that will never stop me wanting to gamble. If I couldn't give up for all those years and have only blocked in that instance how would I be able to have the control to not want to gamble. A week of the worst depression in my life started. It wasn't withdrawal symptoms is was that break up with gambling just like your first love. So through a bit of luck for the first time, my partner found Gamcare. In the chatrooms someone mentioned GA and there was a number I could ring to meet someone to take me in. 56 years old, MD of a company for 26 years and im shaking going in. I managed to get counselling via Gamcare with Breakeven. I slowly but surely learned that gambling was what I thought was the solution but wasn't the problem. I was the problem which I resonate with your words above. At my first GA meeting someone said the opposite of addiction isn't abstinence it's connection. I thought well I can tick that box, 58,000 connections on linked in, 3500 followers on other social media platforms, loads of people on my WhatsApp golf group, friends everywhere. How wrong was I. I was isolated and not connected to anyone. Then I started to build my support network and connect to people and life, honestly truthfully and learned to listen again.Â
In terms of your partner, I can only talk about my situation. My partner is also on a road to recovery just like me. Her journey is her journey and as much as I want it for her, I cannot influence that or tell her the way. She will move at her pace, not the pace I would like. She will take longer to notice changes in myself as she is not in my head.
I don't want to give advice but the more you can talk to her to help her understand the better. The more you can be kind and loving to her for the harm, the better. The more you can bite your tongue and shy away from confrontation the better. I try to leave me ego in the past especially with my relationship.Â
If you want to chat more , I'm always on here if you need to reach out, as much as you like. I hold no judgement and we are all in the same boat on a rough sea but calmer waters lay ahead for you, all you need to do is row in the right directionÂ
Good luck my friend this is the second time I signed up to Gamstop but this time I have signed up for 5 years auto renewal not the one year as the second I cancelled my gamstop back to gambling and started losing money and sleep and was slowly sliding back into the depth of hell but after my recent lost i have realised i have better things to spend my money on then this evil addition i stopped the booze now it time to kick this habit too.Â
Today is three days without gambling, I feel much more confident this is my first comment her ever, I will make my second comment when I reach 100 days gambling free 🙏
@lp5vut869c That resignated with me a lot, thank you for that reply! I feel it's difficult for someone to understand how crippling gambling is without having experienced it but i also understand her point of view completely. I'm now coming up to 4 days GF maybe a bit more i'm not sure, i started a tracker on my phone!Â
I'm going to try and engage on this forum daily to keep myself in check.
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Thank you for the other replies too, we can start this journey together Sam!Â
Day two has started of no more gambling here N yesterday made me realised how much my relationship was being affected too due to rather be on my phone spinning the slots or placing bets as it was so easy but yesterday being able to just enjoy the day out with the missus and just having a laugh and not worrying bout getting home to do a few spins made me realise we don't need this dirty habit in our life's and we are going to get through this together one way or another
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