New Leaf??

Morning Craig, your in the right place if you want to give up. Mine was sports betting too, and it is tough to quit, especially with all those adds and offers all over the place, but with some will power and the correct blocks in place you can do it!

Have you self excluded from all bookmakers? I would bet online a lot and found doing this and blocking them on my phone was the best way as even if I wanted to I couldn't place a bet.

Wish you the best of luck mate.

RA

Hi Craig,

Welcome to the site.

I would second RA...at some point your will to stop may not be enough so making it as difficult as possible for you to gamble is important. As suggesed self excluding and putting some blocking software on your phone/laptop will mean its not that easy for you to do. Yes there are ways around this but these will make it more difficult and may come in handy in the future.

All the best with your recovery.
ITD

Thanks for the replies, yes I have self excluded many times and that's another thing the big bookies especially WH have allowed me to self exclude then reopen another account and do it all again! I know it's my fault really and the blame lies at my door but sometimes I don't think they do enough, did anybody read the article recently where by ***** senior management actively encouraged a CG to come into their shop, the guy list his jobs, home everything !

Hi Craig, hows it going today?

Good that you've made the first couple of steps in facing your financial issues and coming on here. Self exclusion helps, but you need to address it from several angles. Contact Gamcare by phone asap, they will have a local partner in your area that can offer you free councelling, please also give GA a try.

Go to the GA site and it will tell you where and when your closest group is, it can go either way, you might love or dislike the format. The point is making the effort to go that first time is a commitment to attacking the issue which is another positive step, whether you go back or not is up to you.

Is there anyone in your life that can take over your finances for now, partner, sibling, parent, trusted friend? Give that some serious consideration.

With a combination of no access to money and self exclusion it makes it very difficult for you to gamble, but those things alone are not enough to beat it. What they do is stop you, but you need to work on not wanting to - they are two different things. The later being where councelling and GA can come in and help (either one or both depending how you find each).

You mentioned sports betting is big for you, in the short term (until you feel ready to watch sports again without them being gambling related) you might need to consider avoiding sports. Football might for arguments sake be a big thing for you, but certainly in the next few months you need to avoid reading the back pages, cancel sky sports, dont wastch match of the day and so on so - anything you would normally gamble on you need to avoid it completely.

This might not sound good to you, giving up gambling and sports but at the moment they are linked, I think all the time you are watching the football you might think things like 'look if I hadnt given up I would have won that bet' and you need to get away from that whole association. This will hopefully force you to seperate yourself from that world. I know this is easier said that done but I strongly advise you do try and seperate the world of gambling and everything it links to.

I'm not a sports better, my vice was fruit machines and FOBT's. I realised when I gave up mid last year how frequently I gambling outside of my 'core problem'. So I spent 99% of my time in arcades and bookies, however a night out with the boys would also include dabbling with fruit machines in pubs or the loser of a game of pool paid for the round - thats gambling and all that had to go too for me. Its not good me giving up yet I'd still buy a lottery ticket, or bet a drink on a pool game. To most people this isnt real gambling, but to us problem gamblers its all a toe in the water. So I had to cut my socialising down as I would often gamble during it

I had to free myself from it all. So for 3-4 months I didnt go out once of an evening with freinds if there was an chance I could cross paths with something to gamble on, I avoided any chance to gamble at all costs even if it meant missing out on things. I didnt deserve those things and on top of that they were a danger.

7 months down the line I can honestly say that was a big help, I still wouldnt dare risk walk into a bookies or an arcade - why on earth would I want to - their only purpose is to be a place to gamble. However if find myself somewhere where I could gamble if I wanted but I'm not there for that (train station cafe fruit machine, bar, playing pool and a mate says lets play for a pint) I can ignore it because I gave myself the space to seperate it and not associate it with gambling. I cant avoid socialising for ever, like you probably dont want to avoid sports forever - but giving yourself that break from it inline with the gambling is probably needed.

Good luck mate.

Thanks for the reply mate, I have gave my wife my bank card etc and she gives me an allowance weekly but she just thinks it's because I'm bad with money she has no idea of the extent of the debt as we do have seperate accounts, I will have to tell her soon but I think if I can attend a ga meeting and have made the payments to Payplan hopefully this will soften the blow.

All the best

Hi Graig,

Yes indeed, GA, councelling and get a plan together - but do tell her.

If you can sort some it yourself before telling her then maybe thats a good idea, you of course know her better than anyone. You might be able to go to her with the problem and 80% of the solution already in place (the practical parts of the solution, the work on not gambling is whats ahead) and that might be good for her to hear. Also make the solution about her as much as you, now the problem is out in the open how will it affect her, what can you do for her to help her through this news coming out.

With that in mind tell your mrs the full truth asap, maybe give yourself 48 or 72 hours at the most to sort a few things out (this will also make you get on with it) and then tell her, it cant take any longer to make a few calls and do some self exclusion, us gamblers put everything off until tomorrow - start now with a new approach and come clean this week.

good luck

Thanks lee, yes I plan to tell her over the weekend, I have now fully excluded from all sites and am now on day 4 of gambling free!! Not a lot I know but there has been 2 consecutive nights of prem fixtures and I haven't bet on them, this has to be a 10year first for me so looking good , the big test will be at the weekend with all the sports. Good luck mate

Morning Craig, great advice there! I just wanted to swing by & say welcome to recovery & a massive well done on your 1st 4 days 🙂

It won't seem like a lot to the outside world but to us, it's a very big deal & something to build on - ODAAT

Thanks very much and hi, I must admit I wish I knew this forum was here a long time ago as there is something positive in knowing that there are other people going through the same thing and that we can all find the strength to stop together, the minute I get an urge I jump on the forum and find this inspires me not to gamble , all the best

Hi, Craig,

Well done for telling your wife - my husband didn't tell me in fifteen to twenty years of gambling, it made things so much worse. Telling is such a positive step.

I'd also agree with her that the financial losses, whilst galling, are the least of it. My experience is that it takes time to come to terms with it, I would encourage you to allow her that time and also to keep on showing her what you're doing to overcome it, ie blocks, self exclusion, handing over financial control etc. Also set up external support, GA meetings and GC counselling. She'll need support as well, either from the forum or GamAnon.

I hope you move forward together. Wish you well,

CW

Hi Cynical Wife,

I must admit it was such a relief, last night was the best night's sleep I have had in 3 years, it wasn't actually the money that concerned her it was the feeling like everything was her fault, my mood swings etc.

As us CG's are good at blaming others, I have self excluded from all sites, I have a DMP set up with Payplan and pay this out monthly, I have 3 very close friends who I have told this morning and offered me any support needed, I must admit I do feel lucky and hopefully won't mess things up.

All the best, Craig

Also forgot to mention I have my very first GA meeting tonight, and my wife has agreed to come as from next week.

eeeekkkk.

Hi, Craig,

I go to GamAnon, it's the group for the friends and family but their meetings are not always local. Hope you enjoy GA, it has helped my husband.

BW,

CW