new to the site

Hi im New here i started gambling heavy 1 years ago losing all my savings 8000 on sporta getting. I have si ce lostvheaps more and have a loan to pay off for the next 5 years i ha be no blocking software but im self excluded from near all on sports getting websites. My girlfriend and family are on the know can only Move forward from now.

Hi Bubbapapa,

I contacted my credit card company and made it so i was blocked from spending and could only pay it off.

This has really helped me.

I have fallen into exactly the same traps as you and i am due to have counselling from next wednesday.

It has taken along time to realise that I can only sort me out,I can't sort out new casinos opening.

There is a blanket ban due in 2017 and It can't come a day too soon. Long overdue.

Maybe seek counselling and give your bank a call.

Goodluck

Smiles

Hi Ash, Try the K9 free online blocker, because as us gamblers know we just join new sites when we exclude. It is definitely helping me as I know my browsing would be pointless so I don't search. Having a group of friends on here also helps as if we fail ourselves we would fail each other

Hi thanks for your comments. I have had family and friends round this evening for dinner and a few drinks. The latter is the worst for me as after a few drinks I forget that i want to stop gambling and after they have left can spend an hour trying to find a new site that I have not excluded from. SMILEY 81 i also will be really relieved if the blanket ban comes in. I do not gamble in betting shops and do not have a casino near me, so seriously believe that will be my cure. I will post again tomorrow , hopefully to confirm I did not search the web and find a new site!! keep the positivity everyone.

Hi everyone, five days now without gambling. Must admit, haven't really had the urge. What is driving me, is looking at my last few bank statements and seeing pages of deposits to online gaming sites. I really want to look at next months statement and have no gambling related deposits. It will give great satisfaction. I feel it is really important to have a goal, and if it something tangible, even better! I hae already slept better and although my partner is not aware I have stopped gambling, (she never realised how much I was playing or losing), she said i seem in a better mood recently. I hope everyone else here can really see the benefits of stopping. I know it is always an ongoing battle, and one should never get complacent, but with the help of this forum I am sure we can all beat it!!

Hi babapapa

Thats good that you are in the early stages of a recovery process. This forum will be great for you and part of a real learning process.

Yes focus on those statements because that is the reality staring you on the face.

Now you have to be fully aware that willpower alone is not enough and we would all generally advise that you must find a moment to tell people close to you.

You can discuss this but you will find it needs a support network and reaching out for all the help available. The ways in must finally be shut down and Im afraid that does involve full monitoring of your gadgets and nationwide blocks. Left alone you dont know how and when your triggers will act. You should be safe to have a small drink if you cant get in on your computers. Alcohol and gambling urges dont mix at all which is half the reason they put machines in pubs.

Unfortunately with this addiction there is no room for half measures and you will know deep down that any breaks you had were not the real test of control. I detest the way online gambling has come into peoples homes.

You will make this history with real blocks. We would all say your partner deserves to know and can be an invaluable help. Gambling likes secrets...it loves them because thats what it thrives on. You know its taken your pride and self respect but you can get those back when you reach out for help and take all the proper measures.

I sound tough because I care about you. With the real blocks on your computer and living on an allowance you will heave a sigh of relief because it takes the pressure off as you heal. The real mark is whether you are ready for that

Are you ready for that because its not about treating you like a baby. Its about saving any quality of life you have.

Keep talking about it and phone gamcare for the one to one voice. They are there to listen and help you

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi Joydivider, many thanks for your comments and encouragement. I have not felt the need to tell my partner as it has not directly affected her, at least financially. My gambling has never put me in debt despite losing a small fortune and I have never had a problem paying mortgage, bills etc. However the fact that she commented on me being in a better mood over the past week, shows that it is not just financially that gambling impacts us and our families.I do not feel the need to take any further action, other than registering on this site and gaining inspiration from the various posts at present. Some have been very distressing and perhaps those are the most powerful, as it shows what can happen if you don't beat the addiction. I see you have been gamble free for a year and I must congratulate you on that, and for continuing yor posts and encouragement to others on the site. I noticed you had deleted many previous posts and assume you had a difficult time early on so your experiences I am sure are invaluable. Kind regards Babapapa

Hi

Thats entirely your call and your path. You must deal with it as you wish to I just felt obliged to mention that the mind will seek a comfort position of the mortgage is being paid as you come to terms with what it has actually been making you do.

I understand that you are looking around for positives as you stabilise. I understand what you are saying and have high hopes for you. Any form of gambling does affect others just throught the fact that it would stress you and its money thrown away. I think its a bit of a misnomer that it doesnt affect them because they would rather have you happy and healthy with that money to spend on treats for all of you.

But yes lets take the positives and build on that. Im not having a go at you and only worry about people that may think its easier than it is without full blocks and monitoring.

Yes it took me 10 months to get a grip after joining the forum. One of my posts is apologising for deleting all my posts because someone told me the truth and I couldnt handle it. I was half heartedly dealing with the addiction and relapsing every month or fortnight. I managed breaks through sheer fear of paying bills and kidded myself I had any form of control. Someone pointed out that I was advising people whille relapsing and I had a hissy fit of mass deletion. Things are vastly different now.

Previously I had been relapsing every month, then every two weeks then six days. The addiction was so strong that I was congratulating myself for every break like I deserved a gamble again. Its absolutely crazy when I think about it now...in the same way maybe it was so powerful that it took me 10 months to wind down from it and do something properly about it

I thought I can handle this and I was embarrassed about the thought of self exclusion forms. My pride and self respect had already gone but again I kidded myself that I would deal with it like a man and it wasnt too bad. I didnt do what I should have done and continued to lose a further £2500 which is essential money for me.

I was on the forum but everything else was secrets from others. To my shame I continued to have my parents bail me out at every opportunity and that was another excuse for extinction gambling I would have been on the streets if it wasnt for my family yet I had previously been lying to them under the grip of an addiction which Im ashamed to think about

So just putting it to you and you may see stories of people who post a couple of times than the next time is a relapse thread

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

The problem isn't the money, it's the gambling.

re not feeling the need to tell your partner, entirely your call but be quite clear that in keeping quiet, you are doing both of you a huge disservice. For you, gambling thrives on secrecy and if you're only accountable to your addicted self, there's no effective limit. For her, the financial losses are merely galling. The deceit, moodiness, emotional remoteness, thinking that it must be her etc, all that really hurts.

re not taking any further action, it's effective action that changes things. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

CW

Hi and thanks for your comments which I will take on board. This is the first time I have been on the site and I appreciate that it probably takes a slip to realise that you may not be able to quit permenantly without further help. My comment about not telling my partner is just that if, as I hope, I do manage to stop completely, she will be none the wiser or upset. I do not want her to treat me any differently, asking how I am coping, as I genuinely have not thought about gambling this past week. Actually, that is not completely true, I have thought about it, but immediately think of my goal of having a gambling free bank statement and that spurs me on. In my mind, and I appreciate others have probably thought exactly the same as me and then relapsed, I can kick the habit without the need to tell other people. If I do relapse, then I am sure I will need to tell her as support from those closest, must be invaluable. But for now I will try it on my own. I will keep up-dating as I really think this helps me and I am really grateful to those who respond.

Joydivider, I salute your honesty and I am sure for you this has played a major part in your recovery.

Good keep talking about how you are doing and reading lots of threads,

You see even from a practical point of view I think how are you going to have K9 on gadgets without partners noticing.

I understand what you are saying but these blocks are like a final take that to gambling. You have gambled and you have gambled compulsively so for most people it does take more than just say no.

See how you go. use the forum and do phone gamcare when you get a private moment. Its also a good idea to consider any stress or dissillusionment with life you may have been experiencing.

Let people know how you get on because people care about you on here.

You know you must stop for good and being gamble free is a wonderful feeling.

All the very best

Thanks Joydivider. I mentioned in a previous post when i first joined that I have downloaded blocking software on a number of occaions. As I was unfamiliar as to how the forums worked, i entered two different posts and it may have been on a different thread.. It is still runing on my computer, but is not completely fool-proof as in moments/hours of weekness in the past I found some sites that it did not block. A couple of years ago I even went out and bought a new computer just so I could use it to gamble on. The lengths we go to, just to gamble is incredible.Is K9 a similar similar to betfilter, i have that currently installed. As we all have our own computers at home, no-one needs, or is able to, access mine, so that has never been questioned.

Interestingly for me, this afternoon I was in a different office from my usual one and I am completely on my own there. I purposely choose not to go their too often as it is difficult to take my work up there and gives me too much time with little to do, sitting in front of a computer!! I cannot really put blocking software on that one as it is used by others most of the week. Idle mind and idle hands gives rise to great temptation. In the past when I have been at our satellite office I have spent most of the time on gambling sites, but today I occupied myself by booking a holiday instead. For me, boredom is a reason, if not a cause of gambling, keeping the mind active and finding something different to do when I would have just logged onto a casino will definately help. Thanks for your support, it is much appreciated.

Suppose you were to go to hr or a manager, perhaps tell them about your problem but in any event point out that it's not good practice to have open access to the World Wide Web on a company computer. Suggest that the IT people put general or parental blockers on?

Would be one thread in a rope, one less source of trouble.

CW

Thanks CW, but it is my own business. As there is only one, the same, person usually working in that office and we only cover it if she has a day off, it would be difficult to do that without suggesting we were dong it for their benefit, but I do appreciate your comments and advice. 8 days now, and in another 24 I will get my next bank statement, and still looking forward to seeing it.