Not your usual gambling addiction story but heres mine, im back.

The story is not simple to read but i think i get the gist of it 

So from what i can tell your nearly 42 , just had a baby and are addicted to gambling ? 

This isn't an unusual story there are thousands on this forum in exactly the same situation 

Count yourself lucky you still have some money left , many leave until they have reached rock bottom 

Pull yourself together block the sites and get back to caring for your family 

@gamblingaddict1000 
Well done for wanting to stop. 
First things first though, try to realise that there are a lot of people like you. If you think you’re different to everyone else you haven’t been reading other stories. You don’t have the ability to pick up and put down addictions when you put your mind to it, your story says otherwise. Problem or compulsive gambling isn’t necessarily gambling every day, some manage to abstain from it for months at a time. It’s also not about the money. Yes, I’m sure that’s important to you but it’s your behaviour that’s the problem. It’s your emotions and gambling is your escape. No one should recommend you get a short term loan. You’re lying to yourself and your partner and those lies will drag you back to gambling.

I admire your want to put the gambling down and having a baby might seem like a a reason to do it. It is, but this gambling addiction is greater than your love for your family. You need more than just willpower.

I get you didn’t enjoy GA, it’s not for everyone, but don’t use holding hands as an excuse not to go. You don’t need to hold hands, in fact since covid we don’t. Some might but we don’t. In case you didn’t understand it, it’s done when we say the serenity prayer, and it’s about unity, being there for others as well as yourself. My question is when you went, did you stop gambling?

HOW do you stop.

H is for honesty. Be honest with yourself and others. How can you live a clean life if you are lying or covering your tracks all the time? Be honest with your partner that you don’t want to gamble at all. No allowance, it doesn’t work. Yes you have spent some money from your savings but if that had been me there would have been nothing left at all. You realise you’ve mucked up but the baby has made you rethink everything and you need a fresh start without gambling and that means being honest with her.

O is for open minded. Be open minded to different ideas, that advice is given with the best intentions. Sometimes others know of better ways to help yourself if you are brave enough to try them.

W is for willingness. Be willing to try new ideas, to do anything you can to stop this illness. Who cares why you do it or what drugs it produces. Just be willing to put the work in to help yourself. Be willing to try GA again or get some counselling. Something will work for you.

I wish you luck and if you want any advice I’m here. Everything you have done I’ve done, and I’ve lost everything you still have. This is your chance. Please take this in the spirit that it’s meant.

Chris.

Hello GA 1000 and welcome.

Please sit down and try and write what you have lost....put aside the ups and downs and write an overall figure

Then you need to phone your father  or someone similar and tell him what you have done

I dont think you are understanding yet that this is mainly a drug addiction. All the rest of your money needs looking after by someone trusted....its no good to you as you have an illness

It should come to you in allowance form only....and that means a small allowance you will have to account for...if you want a shirt or something you have to present a request for monitored funds.

If you think that sounds awkward or you are not a baby...think on.....this addiction kills people!

Next a huge deep breath because you are going to have to learn again what's important in your life...your baby and girlfriend.....you have been gambling with their love and trust...their future!

The door that needs closing is that your girlfriend seems unaware that you can't just be allowed to have a gamble....you are an addict and its a mugs game or vice! She has been too lenient  but it's not her fault

You are already in trouble because you've handed your self respect, dignity and a chunk of money to a gambling den

You need to talk about your anxiety and depression as Paddy Pimblett says....men don't talk as much as they should about these things.....so please talk to someone 

Gambling is not for you....you won't miss it when you heal but now that it got into your bones....the rest of your life can never be complacent.....you can't control yourself so abstention is the only way

They sold you an addictive product as pushers...its not all your fault but you have to take a pride in accepting responsibility

You can do it when you pick up the phone as I said....one day soon your girlfriend should also know you are a recovering addict as it helps protect all of you

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Thanks for all the good advice. I'm 9 days gamble free right now. The thoughts of gambling to try win my money back have been there but I've managed to rebuff them with counter thoughts of how it's not the answer and would be a negative step even if I did win my money back. I think I'm safe for the foreseeable future but it could be like 2 weeks from now or even a few months and a trigger could set it off so I know its imperative I put blocks in place to make sure that doesn't happen. 

Just this short time of not gambling and not planning to I notice my running form has improved, the sun seems brighter and things I once enjoyed are slowly coming back, but I still do have a dark cloud hanging over me with my recent behaviour and hit to my bank balance..  Managing to quickly replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts and soldier on. 

In the near future going to go to doctors about anxiety depression addiction issues. Place a block on bank regarding gambling transactions. More anti gambling software on all devices. Clean any trace of gambling on devices.  Maybe go to GA. And tell my girlfriend I can't gamble ever again, not sure how I do that just xant bring myself to disclosing all information just yet.

Il keep updating on how I go over next few weeks and so on. Once again thanks for good well thought out responses. I'm soaking them up, but just not sure how I'm going to fully put them in practice.

@gamblingaddict1000 

Any time I've had thoughts about gambling, I go here

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/family-friends/

It's the friends and family board. I read the stories of how gambling devastates your family and friends. Always nips any urges in the bud for me. Some of those stories are horrible, but a needed reality check....

I wish you well.

Posted by: @gamblingaddict1000

So just recently I've realized I've been in a big gambling bubble for the last year and been oblivious just to how powerful the grip on it can be! Very slow and sly how it just creeps up on you, making every little gamble or binge seem just so right and innocent..

But il go back to the start in brief summary. 2010 28 years old i had a mate move into my flat, he introduced me to gambling then it took off. Funny i always dismissed gambling offers n suggested sites as rubbish/waste of money and like opening the doors to hell if i was to join.. Taken in by how easy it was to place a bet on skybet, all the interesting markets and how quick money was in ya bank. fast forward a year i was about 2k down and my parents bailed me out as i had sweet f***l to my name... Was so embarrassing and eye-opening.. went to GA meetings for 2 months, wasn't keen on them as they felt cultish and holding hands think in my opinion isn't necessary.. (people might disagree/might work for them but for me no.) 

Managed to stop gambling on my own for 2 years no problem.. Good thing with me as well as having addictive personality i can drop a bad habit/addiction very quickly when i put my mind to it.. but obviously danger is always relapse eventualy.  

Then the next big phase of my gambling addiction journey came into play, moved into another flat, all alone and just signed off work with depression for few months. thought hmmm have a bet 1 night. Lost £100 was so disgusted tried to win it back... ended up getting into slots after a big win on a free bonus i got, before was just sports betting. 

Fast forward 3 months and im about 8k down, on last throw of dice last credit card available i won about xxx sports betting, then had an unbelievable xxx win on slots followed by awin sports betting.. (so about xxx up) having to go back to work in a week decided i was going to hang my boots up, won big nothing else to play for and bought my self lots of nice things. Thought i was billy big balls and bragged about it, but not disclosing alll details coarse..

Over time after not gambling for year then that money started trickling back to betting sites. Still about xxx up so level overall. I started gambling again, lst about 4 k and thought dam back in that horrible hole didn't know how to get out oof it, but miraculously on a £30 deposit on site was excluded from won off  xxxx a £1 spin, was up and decided to quit again..

So basically every time i was in the sh... I betted my way out of it, kind of gave a false impression that im dam lucky and an exception to ya average gambling addict... Long time of not betting me and my girlfriend decide to save for a mortgage.... i signed up to all sites that give free daily bonuses and things, all fiddled my name about to bypass self-exclusion course, thought i was good cos for 12 months like this i ever deposited cos worried bout credit rating. but getting super excited over £2 wins and my balance getting over £10, never withdrew anything though... All day thinking about my balance and tryin to get it over say £5 so i had something to play with later...  Crazy how i could get as excited over a £5 win like in days before a £200 win???? Just shows part of the problem is you enjoy taking part, and been taken away from al ya problems in like that fantasy world.  Another part is feel like ive ignored my lovely gf and without knowing it made me lazy, wanting to be on my own to gamble and moody, all these things lessening my relationship without me even knowing, just thought she was a moody bit..h..

A bit more detail about my behavior, *i started staying up untill like 2am when i found out about l*******s free poker, ruining my next day for sake of having a £10 balance for nxt day to play with. *making bets of like 40p whilst driving, scared that i miss a goal i have to put the be on no matter what constantly scanning road for cyclists as thats the main threat whilst doing something so stupid and selfish... Hate my self for that part of addiction,,

Now last part of my story. 

My girlfriend has been pregnant 7 months, got nice house, mortgage sorted.. Im allowed to gamble as long as i tell my girlfriend how much i deposit and she checks regularly...

Problem is she stopped checkin.. Not her fault though has plenty on her mind. So these little £10 deposits became 20, 30, 50, you know how it goes. Was about level but last month i think i had a serious trigger, thought id get depression/ anxiety sorted before baby arrives, so saw doctor. Also at this time had to do up house from been in a rite old state, in just 10 weeks, painting, ripping things out, heavy lifting you name it. Gave citrilopram a go for  3 weeks, terrible side effects zero improvement, went onto setraline for 3 weeks, same results.. The anxiety/tiredness was unbearable so much to do can't continue like this so stopped them, i really am going to have to take  a long sustained time off work for them to work but that just isnt an option at this time (im a postman and around 20% of office are sicknotes, long term sickness with f***l.... so no problem going down that route.) I believe a lot of my problems are to do wih neurological pathways, dopamine/serotonin levels and drug treatment is only real option.  Obviously stopping them i felt greatly better but my impulses is through roof.. Thats why i gone off rails last month.

The bit you've all been waiting for, how much damage????

So after a few weeks of many deposits going utpo £100 in quick succession and 700/800 down i had some big luck when staying up all night, last few quid and got level, this happened on like 3 occasions... Now last few days have ended up 2k down. No control and knowing that im past point of no return just no im gunna lose but cant stop placing many bad desperate bets..

Yesterday my gf was giving birth, im still at it in morning, but something happened, when she had the baby who i love very much i dont care about trying to win it back, i just want to stop. I have no intention to gamble and going to use that as my rebirth at same time, i cried like a baby during delivery part of it might just be releasing my own sadness at same time.

Too many things to put in this post so im goin to quickly add things ive missed as im very tired and jus want to get my post out tonight:

*lost interest in almost everything due to gambling

*strange behaviour moving around like a thief in night to gamble, lik my gf comes down stairs i go upstairs

*stayed up all niight gambling went to work on 0 hours sleep few times

*feel like iv lost personality cba with interaction with anyone, too tired to talk or be interesting lol

* im a kkeen runner, form and fitness gone down like a lead baloon plus weight gain.

Im going to contact bank tell them to block gambling transactions from now on, get anti-gambling software close all accounts, anything gambling related. I now realize there can be no harmless bets or freebies its %100 no gambling. 

Only problem is if gf sees all gambling transactions or loss of money im in big trouble, deservedly so but i just don't want to put stress on her.  Although there's going to be times of days where loss of money is going to hurt im still a tad relieved that im going all in to stop when i still have about 1k in main account and 6k in savings...  

i shud have 8k in savings but transferred 2k across so main account is ok. Anyone tink i should get a 12-month interest-free balance transfer of 1/2k for a year and pay it off slowly to cover the loss and forget about it or pay back the missing 2k from savings as quick as possible? Also any advice or comments on my story?

Thanks for reading if ya made it this far lol.  And i am optiimistic thhat just by stopping gambling things will improve markedly!

I completely understand what you're going through because I've been there myself. It's not easy to admit that gambling has taken control of our lives, but trust me, there is hope and a way out.

Firstly, it's crucial to acknowledge the problem. We have to face the reality that gambling has caused negative consequences in our lives – our finances, relationships, and overall well-being. It's not an easy pill to swallow, but accepting it is the first step towards breaking free.

One thing that made a huge difference for me was seeking support. It's important to find people who understand what we're going through, whether it's support groups or online communities. Sharing our struggles with others who have walked in our shoes provides a sense of belonging and helps us realize that we're not alone in this battle.

Taking control of our finances is also vital. Assessing the damage caused by gambling and creating a realistic plan to pay off debts is a necessary step. Seeking the guidance of a financial advisor can be really helpful in setting up a budget and finding strategies to manage our money more effectively.

Another thing I found incredibly useful was utilizing technology to create barriers between me and gambling. Installing gambling-blocking software on our devices can be a game-changer. These tools help us resist the temptation by limiting access to gambling websites and apps, which gives us a chance to regain control over our actions.

Finding healthy replacements for gambling is crucial as well. Discovering activities that bring us joy and fulfillment can fill the void that gambling used to occupy. It could be anything – exercising, painting, reading, or even learning a musical instrument. These positive distractions provide healthier outlets for our emotions and keep us engaged in something meaningful.

Self-care should never be overlooked. Taking care of our mental and physical well-being is essential during this journey. Prioritize getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in activities that promote relaxation and reduce stress. Remember, recovery is not just about stopping gambling, but also about rebuilding ourselves and finding balance in life.

Lastly, it's important to take it one day at a time. Recovery is a journey, and it requires patience and perseverance. Celebrate each day that you resist the urge to gamble as a personal victory. Stay committed, even if there are setbacks along the way. Believe in yourself and your ability to overcome this addiction.

I know it's not easy, and there may be moments when we feel like giving up. But trust me, there is light at the end of the tunnel. With determination, support, and a commitment to change, we can break free from the grip of gambling addiction and create a better future for ourselves. Stay strong, my friend. You're not alone in this fight.