Overwhelmed

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Best wishes, 

Forum Admin.

Hi Ade

Thank you for your share and I hope you can feel some relief by getting that all out. There is a way out and a better life without gambling.

I would certainly suggest talking to the amazing advisors on here either by phone or live text chat. They can access you for counselling.

I'm more than happy to support you and help where I can by replying to you on this thread. 

I don't want to overwhelm you with a whole book on some suggestions but to start with it's important to get the basics in place. Without a good foundation to recovery it's much harder.

First and foremost, if you sign up to Gamban and put it on all your devices it will block every app and gambling website !!! It's only about £2.50 per month. It will take away all online access on your accounts. Great that you have Gamstop in place. Have you gone for the whole five years and auto renewal without notification ? 

Can you put a gambling block on with your bank ?

Is there anyone you can either pass over control of your money to or can you have someone look at your app regularly ? This builds up accountability. 

After that its good to build connection. Start talking to people and not isolating. Come on the chatrooms here which are text only. Maybe go to a GA meeting in person or online at gamblersinrecovery.com 

The other thing to do which is to beat urges is to find something to do instead. Maybe go for a walk or some form of exercise. This gives healthy dopamine while the brain resets 

Thanks Stuart,

Yes I did do the whole 5 years and auto renewal. I’m just gutted it didn’t work for offshore site and then I wouldn’t have been in the mess I’m in now. 

Ive installed Gamban now. So that’s helped block the offshore site which is where things have escalated to an overwhelming point.

As im based in Wales I’ve been put into contact with the All Wales Gambling Addiction service and have an appointment next week. 

As for the other suggestions I will certainly consider them, so thank you. 

At the moment I’m spending every minute of every hour just consumed by the dread and fear of how I’ve put myself into this position. Financially I know I can get out of it eventually but it seems like such a long road. 

Thank you for replying. 

Ade 

Everybody here can identify with your situation. I'm sorry for your loss. I can understand why you lost yourself in gambling. Over 30 years I've had periods of abstinence then fallen back into it. Don't feel guilty. There's very powerful forces that keep us trapped. Sadly there's always some way of gambling available and we will look for options. Don't feel bad about that. It's natural behaviour for an addict. Stuart gives great advice, isolation is something to be avoided. Please be kind to yourself. Addiction is an illness. You are reaching out for help which is a massive and positive step. Try not to dwell on your losses. Other than seeing it as a waste there's a danger of chasing losses. It's gone. Immediately after a binge you will feel a mixture of negative and difficult emotions. When you're in recovery and back in control you'll feel better.i wish you luck and remember the situation your in is exactly the same that thousands of others sadly find themselves in. 

Thank you for your reply, that’s very helpful. 

The isolation point is a really good one, although I’m finding it difficult to reach out to close family members. My wife for example, I have read some people have been kicked out of the home on here and has made me feel sick at the thought that I can’t handle that on top of the current situation I’m in.  Also my mum, I couldn’t put that on her given the grieving process she’s currently going through losing my dad.  I feel like I just need to bide my time at the moment, speak to professionals and then come up with a Plan that I can take forward and then be in a position to share with my wife.  I just feel like it’s going to destroy everything I have. 

Ade 

@f36nekmyzv 

Hi Ade

That's a good move forward. For me, although not exactly the same as a plan, I packed daily routine which I have now and my addiction hates that lol

Have you tried any online zoom meetings ? There is a great one at 6pm today on the get Evive app which is another useful tool in recovery and a great community. I use Gamcare and evive. It's free and if you download get Evive and join you can rsvp in the meetings section. You don't have to speak to put your camera on and it's just one hour each Thursday . I go every week 

@f36nekmyzv no one can advise on what or when to tell your wife but you can read on here of cases where partners have stood by people but I guess you know what's right for you. I think my main point in the reply is to remember that gambling doesn't prejudice who it traps. Even seemingly intelligent successful people are suckered in. Please don't beat yourself up so much that you find yourself in this situation. There are powerful forces that drag us in and keep us there. As time goes on and you abstain it gets easier. You've made a massive step forward to recovery. You really should try to appreciate how difficult it is to recognise there's an issue and making positive steps to recovery.