Hi everyone,
Today I had a major relapse, I planned on going to the books to actually self exclude myself. Funnily enough 20 mins later I walked out after loosing £200. I couldn't resist going on the roulette machine!
I shouldn't have taken my bank card with me but I didn't realise I had it with me until I felt it when reached into my pocket.
So basically went in there to ban myself but that never happened. I'm definately going back tomorrow morning with no card or cash to self exclude myself. Once I have done this, I can actualy start picking up the pieces. It's going to take more than 2 months to repay all my payday loans. After that I have a separate debt of £2300 but need to get these loans sorted first so any interest is paid sooner.
Once all this is paid, I'll be debt free again. But I need to stop gambling in order to do so. Self exclusion and will power is the best thing for me to quit this horriible addiction.
May this be a hard lesson learned for me today. Pick myself up now and forget about it and move on. I need to accept the losses.
All the best,
Chris
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Self exclusion is part of the solution but there are so many bookies out there now offering the same temptations. You need support such as counselling or GA too - will power isn't enough. As demonstrated today.
true DeLorean the amount of times i've travelled to the next town to bet
Willpower and self exclusions apparantly work for some who addicted
Good luck Chris
Take someone with you when you return. Wife family member gfriend whoever but it would be foolish to go in on your own
Hi
I have joined this site as a concerned mum. I have just discovered my son has blown all the money we saved for him when he was small on gambling, around £7500. He has spent it within the last few months , plus every spare penny he earns goes on gambling, he has even had two payday loans this month of £100 each coz he has run out of wages and has borrowed money from his girlfriend. Everything is now in the open so I will endeavour to help him, I have suggested to him to ring for help but at moment I think he thinks he can do it alone,this I doubt. Has anyone got any advice they can give me?
Hi concerned Mum. Your right to think he cant do this alone. Try to encourage(nag force push) him in the direction of a GA room. There he will be offered a program that has been working for compulsive gamblers for 51 years
Day@atime r u a helper from the site or have u been a gambler yourself
29 years a compulsive gambler believing i knew best around my addiction & close to 8 years without a bet in any shape or form with accepting that my willpower alone wont work.
Self exclusion is the only way forward , quite daunting at first giving your details to the lady behind the counter the lady you probably laughed and joked with when your winning but I found it was only ever decent conversation when I won , if I lost I headed straight for the door , angry , upset and no doubt as you walked out some random bloke took your machine and the number you had backed dropped in.
The circle is vicious but please tell me you have now self excluded ?
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Joydivider thank u for your comments, I have suggested taking over his finances for a while but he says he has to prove to himself and me that he can control his money. I just hope he is right. He says it has made him feel better now it is out in the open. He lives at home so I will be keeping an eye on things. I have asked him to phone the helpline, but at the moment he won't. He has promised he will tell me if he feels out of his depth,I hope so. I have also suggested he visits the doctors coz as u say I think there is more to it I.e.depression. I have thought for a while that he might b depressed, but he is quite a proud person and sometimes finds it hard to seek help. I think he has always had an addictive nature from being small, example whatever fad he had at the time b it skateboarding, drumming, guitar etc he always wanted everything to do with it, like he couldn't have the basic kit, it had to be basic kit then add more pieces to it, he would ad everything to it then with in a few months he was on to the next thing.I feel he is always looking for something more in his life to give him that buzz.
DayDay@atime well done on your 8 years gamble free may it continue for u
I wish your son luck. The things he has told you are exactly the things i would tell those around me when i wanted to continue. Things will probabley quiten down for a few weeks while he feels he is being watched then start up again. He is a compulsive gambler in denial. This does not magically disappear. The fads you talk about are typical addict in training signs. Looking for a behaviour to control our feelings. I have yet to meet anyone who has succeded to manage their gambling problem long term by doing what your son is proposing. Saying all that, if he doesnt wish to stop he wont no matter what you say to him. All i would suggest is never ever lend him money no matter how much you think it will help. Let him know you are there emotionally for him but not financially
Not what you want to hear Mum but if he is saying to you that he wants to keep control of his money and reluctant to call Gamcare then he is not ready to quit.
I have done exactly the same for years and was only recently I admitted I am a compulsive gambler and finally beating this.
I suggest you ask to keep an eye on his bank balance and insisit on receipts for everything. This still gives him a bit of control but will give you an insight into what he is spending money on. I would think he probably has more loans than what he is saying. This is from my experience.
I need to go now but will be on again later and give more detail in terms of lies i would say and see if you can see any patterns.
Thanks for the advice and comments everyone. I have been going to counselling for 2 weeks now and debts are slowly getting sorted.
Chris
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