hi all my name is Dean. I have read many posts Posts on here and I feel you’re pain. Until recently I didn’t gamble much at all , i had to sell my house Due to a divorce and found myself with som spare cash, I then started gambling on the live roulette , I won a few hundred and the buzz was great, I now can’t stop , I have spent hours and hours playing , loosing More than winning , I have lost thousands And still chasing my losses , even when I am up a couple of grand I can’t stop, then I loose my winnings and then more. The excitement the adrenaline the dopamine hit and intesity Is amazing then I get pain suffering, angry , I’m horrible to my partner and say hurtful stuff, I have started to hit myself with my fist and shoes , kicking myself in the a*s. The pain the crying the shame I feel isn’t doing me or my partner any good. Embarrassed ? sad , i don’t want to go out the house, I can’t be bothered to do normal things all I think about isn’t the roulette wheel. I would like to think that joining this site is a line in the sand. Even now whilst I type I am in pain And have tears . I’m a mans man and a Man of the world but I feel so little I never show emotion really but Thisbe is killing me inside. I will continue to read more posts on here and at the the same time like all of us on here i know what you are going through. Stay safe everyone , speak soon
Hi dean
first thing I think you need to do is want to stop and while you are suffering the hooks are still in you.
i suppose my question would be how much debt can you cope with being in before you either want to or have to stop.
your partner will leave if you continue to be horrible. Why wouldn’t they?
you will not win back your losses. Not today, not tomorrow not ever?
i speak as a cg and over 25 years I could have bought a house outright with what I have lost. Not bragging. Ashamed and at just 3 weeks clean I am probably being hypocritical but the truth hurts but not as much as having spent 25 years paying back creditors and not having nicer things because of no money or no credit rating.
has the fun stopped? Responsible gamblers then stop as the ad says. You are a compulsive gambler but until you admit the problem and want help you are just going to lose more and have a deeper hole to climb out of.
stop. Don’t hit rock bottom. Take control and tell gambling to take a hike. Spend time with your partner and apologies for being a k**b. Because you have been. We all have been when we gamble. We are selfish inward looking arses when we gamble.
stop.
please
good luck and read stories on here from longer clean people than me. Get inspired and get help.
take care Dean xx
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