Hello
My name is Josh, I am 23 years old and this is the first time I have done anything like this. I would presume many people would agree it's quite a nerve racking experience.
I want to write my story in the hope it raises awareness to young people about the problems of gambling and the affects it has on all aspects of your life and try to prevent other people from going through my experience.
I started gambling at 18, like most people it was small stakes, a £1 football accumulator in the hope if winning a few pounds (those enjoyable days). It slowly started to rise to £5 stakes then £10 stakes, then by the time I was 20 it was £20 stakes. i would say I was good at gambling, having a bank account of around 20k at 21, I felt on top of the world. However winning that much would prove to be my downfall.
I started putting on bigger bets, sometimes up to a thousand pounds at a time, then if that bet didn't win, I would bet until I won the money back. On reflection, I had no respect for money, I didn't know the value of what I was staking, it was a fantasy world. Up until a few months ago I was still in good profit from gambling until one drunken night out I lost the majority of my savings at a casino. Ever since then I have been chasing my loses and I am now in debt.
I didn't realise the affect my gambling was having on my relationships with friends and family. I would get angry easily because I was frustrated with my loses, I would be snappy and rude. I wouldn't want to spend money on other activities or social events just so I could have more money to gamble. It does impact everything you do, you just can't see it happening.
You may think by what I've wrote that I've stopped gambling for a while, in truth I haven't. My gambling has been in control for around a month but I'm still aware I a compulsive gambler. I decided to come clean and tell my partner how severe my addiction is two days ago. She was obviously upset but more annoyed at the fact I hadn't spoke to her or anyone about my problems. I agreed to hand over all my finances to my partner and have promised to stop gambling. I am aware I am a compulsive gambler and I know there will be harder times ahead keeping my promise, but I can now see that this is a horrible addiction and the ink way forward is to cut it out completely.
All the best 🙂
Hi josh,
Reading your story hit a nerve with me, your gambling started out the same way mine did, the good old days of sticking a small footy bet on and being content.
You've done the hardest thing, telling someone.
Keep strong and tick those days off, find something else to do with the time and money. I'm only a few days in myself but I look forward to reading your feed about you beating this challenge
Hi Jim
Yes I agree, it is hard telling someone but it's definitely the best thing to do. I will be updating my post regularly. Good luck with your journey and keep me updated with how things are going.
Hi Joshl93
Thank you for posting your story on the forum in the hope that it might raise futher awarness to young people.
You have taken some big steps like finally telling your partner. Also allowing her to handle all your finances to help support your decision to stop gambling. This must have been a difficult decision but you were able to carry it through.
As you've mentioned the recovery journey your about to embark on, I thought it might help to consider speaking with one of our Advisers for further advice and support on the free helpline 0808 8020 133 or you can use our netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline#.VBhpbfldXww
Kind regards
Cade
Forum Admin
Hi Joshl93
Thank you for posting your story on the forum in the hope that it might raise futher awarness to young people.
You have taken some big steps like finally telling your partner. And allowing her to handle all your finances to help support your decision to stop gambling. This must have been a difficult decision but you were able to carry it through.
As you've mentioned the recovery journey your about to embark on, I thought it might help to consider speaking with one of our Advisers for further advice and support on the free helpline 0808 8020 133 or you can use our netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline#.VBhpbfldXww
Kind regards
Cade
Forum Admin
Just keep strong, it may sound hard but try find another hobbie that will occupy your time and try to keep busy. Hope you soldier through this rough patch you're in
Hi Josh. 23 is the perfect age, old enough to learn a serious life lesson but young enough that it doesn't have to have ruined your life .
First off, the harsh bit. You consider yourself "good at gambling "?
You're not.
There are a handful of people in the UK with the knowledge, bankroll and discipline to make a living sports betting. You're not one of them. Telling yourself that you are just attempts to justify the money you're chucking away - I guarantee that despite a few lucky hits you are a losing proposition, you wouldn't be here otherwise.
Stop trying to convince yourself that you're good at gambling, you are c**P at gambling.
Every one of us here have at one point thought we had an infallible system or an edge on our specific market.... it's in our nature, its part of our defense mechanism and its all just BS.
Get over that and you have a seriously good chance of not wasting your life like a lot of us have. In ten years time you might have a decent job, car, house etc. If you keep gambling on sports (yes, I know youre just so super good at it...) you'll have nothing.
I am a compulsive gambler and with a supportive wife and two successful businesses I'm one of the very fortunate ones. My life is still practically worthless.
Hi. Kevz123 has said some really good things there. I started the same. It seems one big win makes you begin to think there is real potential there. And you almost begin to feel by not gambling your loosing money because you could be winning it. Really weird change in logic. Anyway I am 25k in debt but 14 days gambling free today and feel good.
Stay strong and battle it out
Hi Kevz
Ye I completely agree with you, if i was a good and disciplined gambler i wouldnt be here or in the position i am in. I accept it was just luck. Luckily i do have a decent job at present but thats something I need to keep hold off and this is being used as motivation to stop gambling as i dont want to lose it!
Also you said you have a wife and two successful businesses, this doesnt make your life worthless. A lot of youngsters like myself look up to successsful business owners. I dont know because im no adviser but maybe you just need a new challenge or something!
Hi Gavin
I can also relate to the feeling where not gambling feels like youre losing money becuase you could be winning. But we both know that isnt the case. Keep it up and keep ticking those days off mate, spend that money on something different. That debt will be gone before you know it.
I lost 23k of my own money gambling. You have lost 20k but a lot of that is winnings right and not your own money? I am 22 and it is 2 years salary lost but hey we both have so much time, someone at work told me you have your whole life.
Joshl93 wrote:
Hi Kevz
Ye I completely agree with you, if i was a good and disciplined gambler i wouldnt be here or in the position i am in. I accept it was just luck. Luckily i do have a decent job at present but thats something I need to keep hold off and this is being used as motivation to stop gambling as i dont want to lose it!
Also you said you have a wife and two successful businesses, this doesnt make your life worthless. A lot of youngsters like myself look up to successsful business owners. I dont know because im no adviser but maybe you just need a new challenge or something!
I am no role model!
The businesses happened by accident, mostly good luck and part hard work. As silly as it sounds, both sprung up from me trading goods (buying a selling antiques) to make money for gambling. I would throw myself into all manner of things (glassware, jewellery, books, records) and study all day every day soaking up as much knowledge as I could so I could hit the charity shops, car boot sales, online auction sites etc looking for bargains to take to the specialists who pay a premium for them. It's just putting the right pieces in the right places, easy when you know how. I'd regularly spend £20-£30 on a Sunday morning, hop on a train (usually into Manchester) and triple my money. Then go to the pub and feed it all into a slot machine. Hours of diggng through dirty piles of tat. More hours seeking out collectors who I'd have to travel to then sweet-talk and haggle with, not to mention the months of research and study I'd sunk in - all to watch an hour of flashing lights. Why the hell do we do it to ourselves?
Making money has never been hard for me, it's keeping the stuff that trips me up! I hate working so d**n hard and having nothing to show for it, if it wasn't for my wife I would be destitute - living in my parents loft or "sofa surfing" somewhere.
Just a quick update!
The football was on yesterday and i was quite tempted to put on a bet. My girlfriend had gave me some cash Christmas Eve to have a few drinks at the local, I had £40 left over at the end of the night and was tempted to use this Boxing Day.
Although there is still some temptation there I feel a lot more under control although it's only a been a little over a week since my last bet.
Im enjoying my girlfriend looking after my finances as I can't go for a quick gamble when I have spare time. TBH I know she's enjoying having my card too. But at least the money is getting spent on something important to me rather then the bookie!
Anyways i hope you're all staying gamble free through the holidays too. Have a good new year :).
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