I think it's about time people would become more blunt about gambling addiction, instead of sending virtual hugs or tell people they have a phone line to call to - people need a real substance when it comes to gambling addiction.
How do you stop gambling? First of all SELF-EXCLUSION, the first 2 words of your gambling addiction vocabulary should be SELF EXCLUSION... if you have a trouble with an online website - first of all self exclude yourself.
I have personally self-excluded myself from over 200 online websites, UK ones and non-UK ones ... and ones that gave me troubles I pursued them and actually filed lawsuits against them (I did) and I was compensated - there is no such thing as a NO when it comes to self-exclusion, the gambling establishment MUST honor this request, even if it's established in Costa Rica or other jurisdictions that don't seem to be 100% honest - there is always a way out, always .... never give up.
Secondly, and this is a real pickle ...
There is no such thing as "Controlled Gambling". I understand Gamcare is funded by the gambling industry and from time to time I read that Gamcare is telling people that they can control it - this is a conflict of interests, on the one hand Gamcare is funded by the gambling industry and must respect some of the wishes made by this industry, on the other - telling someone they can control their gambling is wrong.
It doesn't matter if it's Casino or Sports or Slots .... I used to gamble only on sports, only tried to look for an edge, bet over when it's low, bet under when it's high etc., I tried to look for so many ways to "beat the house" - I am sorry but there is no way to beat the house, the system is built in a way for you to lose and to go through a vicious cycle, an endless spiral - unless you SELF EXCLUDE.
What other things helped me?
Banking outside the UK, not using UK cards, leaving very small amount of money in the UK for living purposes but making sure lots of my finance is secured in another country, where these funds cannot be used for gambling, lock those funds for years, you would appreciate and thank yourself everyday, and you would double and even triple think, think not twice but 10 times before you spend that money you saved ... in a world of globalization there are ways to safeguard your money elsewhere, and it doesn't cost much ... save everything you can into an account you cannot touch for years, do it now, not tomorrow.
What else?
Youtube has some really useful channels that helped me, I don't know if I can name those here but some people give you lots of motivation, they focus specifically on gambling, but their videos are so motivational, they will help you to be a happier person in my opinion.
What's my opinion about Gamcare and GA?
In my opinion they are not useful, I went only once to a GA meeting and felt like it was a waste of time, I also read online that GA has very small % success rates, I feel like the points I listed above helped me see the light and become a better person, it builds your immune system against gambling, it really does.
Gamcare - I cannot trust it because it's funded by the gambling industry, but they are very powerful to provide a forum with so many people reading it, so kudos to them for that.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me, you can all get there.
I have in my bank account right now over £2,000 .... and I am not in debt ...
Now ask me why I don't spend that £2,000 on gambling?
Because I can't, I simply can't, it's impossible. I cannot gamble online because I am blocked from all the possible sports betting websites you can think of....
I also have 5 digits savings saved in an account that I cannot touch, even if I want to, I cannot touch it.
There is no alternative other than arresting your addiction, and arresting an addiction is done with effective tools, such as self-exclusion, your mind would tell you to not self-exclude but once you do you would become a happier person.
Self exclude from all places and from all sites, the more the merrier.
And do it permanently, not for 3 months and not for 1 year.
ALN wrote: Hi, Out of interest, as I don't believe I've picked it out from reading your posts, how long have you been gambling free? I do appreciate your abstinence by way of preventive barriers but how are you dealing with emotional issues now that you are abstaining? Have you sought solace in some other way i.e. food addiction, alcohol addiction, work addiction, etc? Another question would be, how are you tackling your character defects? If honest I've not met a compulsive gambler yet that doesn't have more than one? I can understand your view point in respect of both Gamcare and GA, but in terms of the latter, did you really give it an opportunity as it sounds like you visited only once. Maybe more respect if you'd continued through and upto a 90day period. I'm not unsupportive of the comments that you have passed on GA, as from time to time I have my own problems with the focus of the meetings and individuals therein but I also know that part of this is a result of many character defects that I have, tolerance and maturity being to name only 2. Wishing you all the best in your abstenance as I believe what you are achieving is great when going alone.
Hi Alan,
I do have a sort of a s*x addiction, and this one is one of the worst, because we can't live without s*x (unlike gambling - we can survive perfectly fine without it) - do I like it? No, I did try to go to therapy for that, it was helpful to a certain extent but no, I am not free or this addiction, in fact I did find myself using a webcam website yesterday, I am not happy about it and it's hard to restrain yourself from those things because there isn't any proper "self exclusion" for these sites (unless if you have a suggestion I'd be more than happy to hear).
In terms of gambling my last bet was in 2016, I did find myself since then signing up to a few Bitcoin Sportsbooks but before I deposited I simply went to live chat or called the sites or emailed them telling them to not honor any deposits, bets etc. and simply close my account on a permanent basis.... one website in 2013 allowed me to re-open a permanent self-excluded account, I filed a lawsuit against them in Curacao (yes, a jurisdiction you would think is full of corruption etc.) - I received a $7,000 compensation from the website. I have no sympathy towards websites that don't respect self-exclusion, it doesn't matter if it's Bitcoin based or UK based, there is a legal basis to sue any website that doesn't close your account on a permanent basis, and by permanent I mean eternally, you won't be able to open not 1 year, not 5 years, not 100 years from now.
I also remember a case of a UK bookmaker (yes, a UK based) that did the same with self-exclusion, I didn't sue them but they apologized 1000 times for what they did.
Now regarding being alone and GA:
We live in a world where everything is so personalized, people are afraid to protest again the government because each individal knows if he gets a bad record with the police it's going to ruin his career etc. etc. - so each individual exists to his own in some way, I salute and respect people who volunteer and help other people, these people are the best, but I think our society is going to have problems with that, Gamcare was in some way an organization where people volunteer to help, now with donations and money it has become completely different - I don't blame them, we need money in order to survive, it's okay for organizations to rely on donations, but ...
It's like if you ask me what's my opinion on Macmillan cancer support - they are so against Cannabis, they have articles against Rick Simpson Oil, and articles against CBD Oil, their articles tell people to not rely on Cannabis - my father in law has Alzheimer's and CBD Oil has helped him so much .... so I despise organizations that hide the truth from people, and that's why I have a lot of troubles being nice to Gamcare, because I don't like the point where Gamcare is at the moment, I don't like their values or what they're teaching people, because I know it's all fake in some way ... I believe in the real deal, I saw what Cannabis does to my father in law and the doctors were completely shocked, I know it could also help cancer patients, this is why I don't take anything for granted, never...!
So back to GA - we are all individuals, each person has his good and bad moods, each person has his own way of life, and in GA sometimes one person talks, and 20 other people who do need help - are silent, this is unacceptable.
Also GA records have shown that very few people managed to stay free of gambling, it hasn't proven itself (unlike Cannabis that is proving itself more and more like a cure for cancer or at least to some patients or some people!) .... self-exclusion, self-control over your finances - this is what has done the real deal for me.
I have money to spend and I don't even want to spend it on gambling, I used to bet over/under on the NBA, looking for an edge, if the line was 230 - I would bet over 190 if I get it in live... it's pointless, useless, worthless, also in terms of value it's taking money from someone else - you would have to convince me very hard to place another bet in life....
Regarding s*x addiction - I wish it would be beyond me, I don't know what to do to overcome it, I do need help for this but I don't think this forum can help me much with this addiction, as much as I'd love to control it, I am trying to "build muscles", flex the muscles - everyday that I don't do anything stupid in terms of s*x addiction - is another day I make myself stronger fighting against this addiction, but no, it's not beyond me unfortunately.
ALN wrote: Very thought provoking response and appreciate your candor. Your comments on GA reflect my own opinion from time to time, I do find a significant amount of advice contradictory when looking at the individual making it inline with how they openly conduct themselves in life. Interesting point on s*x addiction, similar to drug addiction and another emotional illness. Wishing you all the best.
Thanks Alan, wishing the same to you!
Hi FreeOfTroubles,
Good open and honest post. I do not agree with your opinion regarding GA however, for me it was the place where the penny dropped and it has helped me get a better understanding of myself. The crucial part is understanding that we have to change our behaviour and when we dig down into it we see our issue is nothing to do with money or even gambling, its simply our compulsive behaviour. Things for me like over eating, drinking too much, gambling too much. The in ability to exert self control is something I really struggle with.
When you start with Gamcare or GA you are advised to put up the barriers, so self exclusion, money barriers etc to make it as difficult for us a possible to place a bet. But this is just the first stage, and its not really sorting the problem as we will find something else to be compulsive over, like in your case the s*x addiction.
To change we need to be open and honest with others, not hide away. In short, we need support. GA is one of the best places for this in my opinion, but again it only works best if we are totally open and honest. The 12 steps will make us ask hard questions about ourselves and we realise recovery is not a quick fix but a journey.
I know plenty of people from meetings who swear by it. There are things in GA litrature that I do not agree with, but I dont see the sense in "throwing out the baby with the bath water". Before when I was in denial I would have done that, but not anymore as I strive to change my behaviour and control my compulsions.
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