Dear all, here I am again after a relapse of weeks. Good moment for me now to stop and start fresh on the 1st of January.Â
This time looking back I noticed it wasn't about the money (chasing my losses - but yes, that is how it started with me as well) but the adrenaline rush that I was after. Bets going higher and higher, and hundreds would disappear within minutes. Aiming for that powerful feeling of having a bonus on a high bet. Just that. But it didn't came, obviously.Â
And if it would, I would also not stop, and continue. Because I need that same rush again and again and again!!Â
And then that nasty feeling when you know you need to stop. Just STOP. But don't want to because you want to have that rush of playing with big numbers of money.Â
I just hate it, the fact that I always want more. That this addiction puts me in this cycle of not having enough rush feeling and wanting more and then losing and losing and feeling so stupid again.Â
So that's why I will stop now AGAIN. Just because I KNOW there is no end and NO SATISFACTION. There will NEVER BE an END unless I STOP.Â
And I totally hate cravings. Just hate it. Stupid cravings for that rush.Â
People who never have had that terrible feeling of craving can be happy they don't have any idea how hard it is to resist.
Also writing this for myself to remember me on how I feel now.
I need to stop, there will never be satisfaction.Â
Best wishes to you all
Hey
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I could have write this myself. I know exactly how you feel. Chin up xxx
Totally relate to this I am the exact same its the RUSH of the bonus the money going higher and higher it doesn't matter how much I win I always end up playing until there's nothing left... I have started again 1st Jan after a massive relapse over the xmas period. We can do this xxÂ
Thank you for both your answers! It feels a bit less lonely in some way. However I feel also sorry that you are going through this!!
I did not put enough blocks and lost another 2k today. So tomorrow is day 1 again.Â
I just could not resist and stop myself. And when that balance went down to 0 in minutes I felt sick. So sick, and full of disgust of myself. :((Â
Best wishes to you! And keep strong, stronger than I was!!
Please please please use GamStop, best thing I did in December, it caused my relationship breakdown and affected how I treated people. Your story is so resounding to me and I just about stopped before I lost everything x Ste.
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