2017 My Year

Thats Day 1 for me done. The moodswings today have left me tired. Do other people get moodswings during/after gambling?

The work is in grand place to be fair, i have a group of lads i can go for tea with, that usually cheers me up. Theres lots of nice people in the job to be fair. Makes me feel guilty really when im sad/upset with everything going on.

Alan suggested i contact Gamcare about self exclusion in Ireland. I sent them a message on the feedback page. Normally when someone makes a suggestion id be like "yea yea good idea ill do that" and never follow through. So im glad i messaged them.

Gonna have a shower and a shave tonight. Freshen up a bit. Sort my clothes out for tomorrow and prepare a sandwich for lunch. thanks for the support today. If im being honest its a good feeling being in work knowing i can jump on this and post and read peoples messages of support

Well done Stephen, ive been reading your diary, nice to hear your happier!! 🙂

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Hello Stephen,

Writing on here can be very cathartic. Purging the S****e so to speak. We can get so wrapped up with the b.s that we tend to forget that after all we're mere specs of saw dust humans who have feelings and are vulnerable animals whom are still evolving at different paces.

Addicts at a whole in my experience seem to be very critical of ourselves and can't understand why others don't see the the world through our own eyes. We seem to be sensitive souls and perceive ourselves as weak in this quite demanding society we live in, yet on the other hand I like to think we're gentle souls struggling with going against our grain in what we believe in what's right or wrong. And, there in my humble, lies one of the many traps of addiction.

Without coming across as aloof, it's important to understand that your not unique, none of us are. You, like myself and the rest on this forum have got caught up in this completely insiduos sly addiction.

I've followed your diary (s) and witnessed your down and up turns. And one thing that sticks in my mind is when you put a picture up of your self in a new suit and how proud you felt. So, im guessing the moral here is you need to start feeling good about your self and firstly make the effort in looking after you and go that extra hog in knowing your doing the best you can, as that's all you've got amd believe that would be enough.

It's nice to be nice, but most importantly be nice to your self. Use this present upturn patiently, and work towards your diary title.

Hi glad to see your feeling more positive, keep it up x

I've just had a break at work and only just seen your post , what can I say except Brilliant mate !! , so pleased youv'e seen the day through and kept to your plan , that's a huge first day Stephen so well done buddy , a couple of things each day can make all the difference over a week or month and I'm pretty sure making a bit of effort with yourself will make you feel a whole lot better :)).

It's the first day of the rest of your life , I'm proud of you mate and you should be proud of yourself :))

Same tommorow fella and one day at a time , keep giving us an update Stephen and I'll talk to you soon my friend :))

All the best Alan

Ps , My mood used to be all over the place , happy one minute and at times tears rolling down my face , I think it's just part of coming to terms with things and the realisation that we have to face and deal with it head one , It will settle mate as it has for me , just give it some time and a bit of space away from gambling :))

Fantastic news!! Glad you've had a good/productive day! Good for you! Here's to day 2! 🙂 C x

🙂 I was looking forward to the update, great news! There was another user from Ireland on here and he did self exclude from a few bookies, you need a photo so put that on the list for payday, get a few of those photo booth pics done and have them on you every day, so if you pass a bookie you're ready to do the deed. I don't know if it's a common theme with gamblers, I was always putting things off too, but it looks like you're taking the bull by the horns this time and getting stuff done. Life is for the living Stephen, you've got a lot of years to make up for eh?! Hope you're having a good day, don't forget to update us later 🙂

Twinks x

Thanks Stephen , It's so nice to see you posting again around the forum :))

I hope today's gone well for you so far ? keep us up to speed on your day as Oldham always says it's better to ramble than gamble :)) .

Talk to you soon mate !

allainepo wrote:

Depends what you mean by moodswings, if you mean did i swing suddenly from feeling on top of the world to smashing my head against a FOBT and growling at anyone who said anything then yes i used to have gambling moodswings. From feeling like nothing is beyond me to wanting to feel nothing ever again then yes i definitely had mood swings. That all ended 75 days ago with my last bet, now i still get anxiety and am taking medication for that and depression but at least i haven't made things any worse in the last 75 days. I am however seeing my GP and going to counselling and just generally trying to make better decisions. Not that i have it cracked or beaten, i will always have to be on my guard as there are many stories on here stating very correctly that we are only 1 gamble away from destruction. I am glad you are making better decisions stephen, just stick with that for now and see how far it takes you, surely can't make things any worse right?

Thanks for sharing your experiences allainepo, i feel a bit impatient. I just want to either feel good or feel like c**P. But your right is better to be feeling down and not gambling than to gamble

volcano wrote: Hello Stephen, Writing on here can be very cathartic. Purging the S****e so to speak. We can get so wrapped up with the b.s that we tend to forget that after all we're mere specs of saw dust humans who have feelings and are vulnerable animals whom are still evolving at different paces. Addicts at a whole in my experience seem to be very critical of ourselves and can't understand why others don't see the the world through our own eyes. We seem to be sensitive souls and perceive ourselves as weak in this quite demanding society we live in, yet on the other hand I like to think we're gentle souls struggling with going against our grain in what we believe in what's right or wrong. And, there in my humble, lies one of the many traps of addiction. Without coming across as aloof, it's important to understand that your not unique, none of us are. You, like myself and the rest on this forum have got caught up in this completely insiduos sly addiction. I've followed your diary (s) and witnessed your down and up turns. And one thing that sticks in my mind is when you put a picture up of your self in a new suit and how proud you felt. So, im guessing the moral here is you need to start feeling good about your self and firstly make the effort in looking after you and go that extra hog in knowing your doing the best you can, as that's all you've got amd believe that would be enough. It's nice to be nice, but most importantly be nice to your self. Use this present upturn patiently, and work towards your diary title.

thanks volcano. i agree with probably all of your message. Im very sensitive. I know its not true but sometimes i do feel like the world revolves around me. I dont own a phone at the moment, in my head im thinking people will be texting me wondering how i am. The reality is people just get on with there own lives.

I remember the night i wore that suit volcano. It was the office xmas party. I got so many compliments i felt so good about myself. But then i slipped after two weeks after that, someone said something to me and i used it as an excuse to gamble (the sensitiivity coming up again). So this time around i just want to get recovery time under my belt, before i try and go out there and get a life for myself. Just dont want to make the same mistakes. Npw that im giving up the bank details and passport its a great opportunity to get some recovery time

ALAN 135 wrote:

Thanks Stephen , It's so nice to see you posting again around the forum :))

I hope today's gone well for you so far ? keep us up to speed on your day as Oldham always says it's better to ramble than gamble :)) .

thanks alan, hope everything is going well today for you

Talk to you soon mate !

Day 2 today. Feeling a bit meh to be honest. If you looked at me today you would have seen me laughing with the lads in the canteen , chatting to the girls on my team in work, getting along well with my boss. But in my head i,m so tired. I was gambling for two straight weeks there and not sleeping and it has caught up on me. What im really looking forward to with recovery is calm evenings. Just sitting at home watching some tv before bed.

Heading the gym after work. Im an all or nothing type of person so i either go the gym often or not at all. A routine would be nice.

Thats a bit of a ramble really

Good post Stephen , It's great to see how much your mindset's changed over a couple of days , your looking forward to good changes in your life as a result of stopping gambling .

My head was exactly the same when I first stopped , just absolutely knackered from all the gambling rubbish and turmoil going around and around , I wasn't sleeping because of it all and couldn't relax at all , the good news is it does clear and pretty quickly too and those calm evenings you wish for will soon return .

I think your plan with the Gym's a great idea , healthy body , healthy mind as they say :))

Have a great night buddy .

So i woke up a bit groggy and moody this morning. But when i got to work i had an email saying the results for the QFA (financial advisor exam) were online. I got 72%!! Im absolutely delighted with myself. The past few weeks ive made really tough for myself but im absolutely delighted and happy and proud of myself. I did the exam about a month and a bit ago and it has been so far from my mind