A pain and Anguish free future . . .

He Jam

Sorry to hear about the slip up! these bloody online casinos are relentless with their temptations. I am constantly getting emails and phone calls about bonuses.

It came to a point where i opened a new email account and changed my telephone number - i no longer get these emails, phone call or text messages! it is a real pain in the a**e but i figure anything to reduce temptation is worth a try.

plan a date and a treat for yourself. Start of small for the first week... as the weeks pass, your funds will build and you will be able to have greater rewards. The feeling of spending money normally is fantastic.

Hi Scottyboy & TALBS. Thanks for the encouragement. The last couple of weeks has been good actually. The only thing I have bet has been free bonus' etc. Now they can all B*****r off, proper day 1 for me again today. I really don't feel like I am going to fail this time where as last time I still did. It made me sad to think that I would never bet again, now the feeling is one of relief and I can picture myself in years to come living a happy and fulfilled life without gambling. It really is a load of b*****ks and I am beginning to see that now hopefully. All the best, Jam

Hey Jam,

Have a read of the last post of my diary. Might help.

I have tried to stop time and time again, but every time i tried there was a part of me that didnt want to, a part of me that knew i would miss gambling a little. that wasnt there this last time.

Keep up the good work and let me know how you are getting on.

Thanks TALBS. Reading your diary and words has given me a new perspective. The last few months, although I know I wanted to give up, I didn't commit to it. I have been thinking about no bets in the IPL, Tennis grand slams and also in the world cup which made me sad as I really enjoy betting on these. I did an experiment last week to see if I could limit my gambling. It started well enough but by the end of it, I was throwing all of my bank on players / teams that I had never heard of. I realise that I can't physically stop betting once I start. Because of that I surely can't win. So I am at a crossroads. I don't want to play this game any more so I am going to give myself one chance to stop this and one chance only. Abstinence from now. I am going to be hard on myself though. No bets at all. If I bet, I will never come on to this forum again and will go into the distance and continue to be savaged by this b*stard and it will ruin my life. I understand the importance of this vow that I am taking. I either stop here and now and become a winner of I will just say what the heck and just continue with gambling and lose all of my money and eventually watch as it takes every last person and every last thing away from me. This may sound harsh but it is what I need. Today it is 12.11 midnight here and this is the end of my second day with no gambling. Tomorrow is day 3. The only bet's I will allow myself is poker with friend that I play around twice a year for $5 and the lottery if people get me to join in a syndicate. I find both of these things boring and the genuinely serve no threat to my abstinence.

I wish all that read this the very best and I promise anyone that is interested, that I will be here abstaining every day. I have to be as if not, the alternative is bleak. That is what I am telling myself. All the best and sorry for rambling, Jam

hi jam its shocking to see how many people in their 20's have been sucked in by this crushing addiction im 25 myself like you and i can really relate to your story i have been back and forth for about 2 years now saying thats it im done but as you have just said never really committed to it until yesterday when i self excluded from everywhere online and arranged some coucilling and have all the GA meeting times in my diary ready to attend. i really hope that you are able to beat this today is day 1 for me. lets all take 1 day at a time and be proud of every day that passes that is gamble free. i dont know if this will help you (or me) but i wrote a letter to myself while i felt very low yesterday describing every feeling i felt right then and there after spending my last penny and will wait until i have a real urge to gamble and will read it in the hopes it will bring that pain back just enough to make me say today i will not gamble.

i wish you all the luck in the world

stay strong

jess

Hi Jam,

I think as long as it does the job, every way to get control over your addiction is ok.

Just keep in mind in case your way isn't working as well as you expect, that especially then it is important to find your way to the forum and maybe to think of different ways to deal with the problem.

I hope that your way is working for you, but if not mate then isolation isn't the answer.

So please hopefully stable, but even, or especially when you lapse mate keep in touch.

All the best

Wolfgang

Hi All,

Day 4 is at a close for me here. Hit the gym twice today and not even thinking about gambling as a feasible activity. I really despise all that it has taken from me in the past and it shall not have any more. The positive feeling is there and I am feeling strong. Every time the thought pops in to my head, I nip it in the bud and don't even let my mind wander. I tell myself that if I had 100 on the cricket tonight, even if I win, I will lose that and a lot more simply because I have no control. I heard that it takes 60 days to form a habit. I hope in another 56 my default will be not to gamble.

Night all, Jam

Glad to see you back on the forum. And it sounds like you have put some real thought into what direction you want your life to go in.

Total abstinence is the answer. I too used to enjoy a bet on major sporting events, i found that once i start the momentum grows and next minute i am typing my name and address into a pay day loan website or spinning a load of lies to friends and family.

Fall out with gambling, you have to make it your enemy instead of an occasional partner in crime.

As for the Poker and lotto, i can understand that and that is a decision you would have to confident and comfortable with, just be cautious that the frequency and $$$ increases in the poker and then a full blown poker addiction develop.... it can happen.

I say all these words just over 100 days into a recovery, i am feeling good and strong but i am also terrified of a relapse, i know that one bet will have me hooked into the cycle again.

good luck and keep in touch

Hi Jam,

It's good to see that you keep fighting and that you are still with us.

Thank you for your kind post in my diary and yes I'm in a better place already as you say it, but also I know that it is a happy life all along the edge into a deep darkness and knowing this I try not to take my now lucky life for granted and I couldn't say it any clearer than TABS already did it it's a lucky and happy life without gambling what includes for me any game what involves money stakes even if they are just small I know it would effect me and gets me sooner or later over the edge into darkness.

Stay strong mate and the 60, 100, 352 marks are an good achievement and just keep in mind that every time you bet a even small money amount you have add your number of gamble free days to the bet and how ever your bet turns out your counter is set to zero again. Just gave a think about this before you gamble.

Take good care mate you can do it one day at the time

Wolfgang

hey jam,

Hope you are doing ok buddy not heard from you for a while.

Right. Back again. Wasted a lot more cash, feel really guilty and crappy and have $34 dollars in the bank and around $25k of debt. Starting from now, 100% abstinence. Day 1 will be tomorrow although I'm not going to bet from now. Going to put everything I have into this now. My girlfriend has arrived from England 5 weeks ago and I want to do noice things wit her. Thinking of excuses why I will have no money and can't do anything at the weekend and why I need to borrow from people with my heart in my mouth as the last of my cash is taken away from me in a photo finish is just crazy. I can do this and I will. Looking forward to reading a few posts on here and getting some inspiration. Going to go for 100 days to start of with! Good luck everyone.

*with her

Day 2 drawing to a close. No real urges today and been for a nice walk. The test starts tomorrow as I get paid then!