A thought a day...to keep me away.

This time

This time belongs to me

It’s no longer time I give to misery

No longer will the painful times stretch for weeks and months

No longer will the happy times seem sporadic and hard to remember

This is my time

This life

It’s no longer a life I give to self-harming activities

No longer will this precious life be lost in the oblivion

No longer will my life’s memories and moments seem less that they should be

This is my life

I may never be perfect, I accept my flaws and foibles

I also forgive me for my past

I accept I am not a product of circumstance but a product of my decisions

I therefore choose to decide at long last

I decide to travel on paths I have not before walked upon

I decide to shed some skins

I decide to be a better man in many ways

I decide to win

I plan to dance in the sunshine

I plan to smile and sing

I plan to live a long contented life

And appreciate everything

This time is also yours my friend

And this is your life too

Whatever you decide is right

Stick with it, remain true to you

As even once you have decided

And made plans with what is left of life

Remember fate can take a hand

And cut it with a knife

So in our moments yet to come,

I sincerely hope and pray

That each and every one of us

Will choose to seize the day

Sbb

#like! ☺

Wow....I have printed this off SBB....so I can read it daily, and add an Amen to the end. Thank you x

Brilliant,

I am clear enough why I started and why I needed to stop, but am still lost about the part in the middle.

Im very proud of my 142 days, but am I simply abstaining rather than recovering?.

I am aware of some of the triggers, but not the fundamental reason why this took such a grip of a large part of my life.

Feeling so much stronger, it must be time for me to take a big breath and dive deeper inside myself to find the answer.

Sbb

Skyblueblue wrote:

I am clear enough why I started and why I needed to stop, but am still lost about the part in the middle.

Im very proud of my 142 days, but am I simply abstaining rather than recovering?.

I am aware of some of the triggers, but not the fundamental reason why this took such a grip of a large part of my life.

Feeling so much stronger, it must be time for me to take a big breath and dive deeper inside myself to find the answer.

Sbb

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." - Carl Jung

The gods bestowed me good forture and wealth, the places I've have travelled, my fortitude and health.

Then friendships, loyalty, memories and family, but they were not appreciated, they were not enough for me.

I wrapped all these gifts that most men would desire, and tied them with contempt and threw them to the fire.

And swapped them for greed, loneliness and hate.

How many peers would have chosen my fate ?

Delusions of grandeur, justifable, principled.

Saintly, Godly, immortal, invincible.

I now realise Nirvana is not possible to a mortal like me.

I wont walk in Elysian fields, forever free.

But freedom i have in my own place of contentment,

By dropping false dreams, lies and resentment.

By appreciating the wonders and joys the gods brought.

And every morning giving that thought.

By walking each given day unburdened and light.

By saying my mantras and fighting my fights.

Finally accepting my fate has been hard I confess.

But I now appreciate I am truely blessed.

Sbb

Hi Sbb, and a terrific post as always (although I had to look up the word 'Elysian' 🙂 )

I wanted to thank you for your wonderful "boxer" post you wrote just prior to flying off a few days back.

I really appreciated that; it boosted my resolve beyond measure.

Thank you.

Got hit with an old debt today (600), which in the past would have set me off chasing it - and losing more in the process!

Today I accepted it, and even called them to ensure I was fully paid up.

Not gambling meant that that with a little belt tightening no damage will be done to the family budget.

I am begining to develop some degree of responsibility and integrity as the days go by.

I have a profound feeling of satisfaction which is borne of repaying society.

My next step is to start to contribute !

Sbb

Skyblueblue wrote: Got hit with an old debt today (600), which in the past would have set me off chasing it - and losing more in the process! Today I accepted it, and even called them to ensure I was fully paid up. Not gambling meant that that with a little belt tightening no damage will be done to the family budget. I am begining to develop some degree of responsibility and integrity as the days go by. I have a profound feeling of satisfaction which is borne of repaying society. My next step is to start to contribute ! Sbb

thanks for supporting others on their diaries SBB, keep it going. tri

Goodbye February, its been emotional !

Money Spent gambling - zero

Alcohol consumed - zero

Dairy Products - Zero

Bills paid - All

Weight lost - 1 1/2 stone

March - You better be ready because im coming at you faster, leaner and stronger.

Sbb

Feeling so much better almost five months down the line.

Spent all day yesterday contacting every single company with whom I have debt - even the lapsed ones.

Now arranging promise to pay plans with each, and will be totally in the clear by this time next year.

Yes its a pain having to fork out £800 per month for a year, but I was spending that anyway digging a hole for myself and my family.

Holiday booked, and getting healthy along the way so much to look forward to.

Beginning to love life again and self respect is returning fast.

If i can do this - anyone can !

We all have different opinions on how to stop - mine is simple - want it enough - and just stop !

At the end of the day we ARE all masters of our own destiny.

Take care and have a great GF day.

Sbb

So much more industrious.

Made significant headway on financials this week, and have cut a deal with well over half to reduce the amount owed and put a plan in place to clear.

Now chasing the others - makes a difference from them chasing me !

There is not only now light at the end of the tunnel, i am beginning to feel its rays on my face.

Off to see 'Sing' with youngest this morning.

Diet six weeks in - stone and a half lost - everyone now stopping me in street and making compliments.

On the up all because I became GF 151 days ago.

What an amazing difference 🙂

Stick with the plan and keep fighting - its as easy as that ! .

Sbb

On the road a lot at present, so not able to contribute as much as i would like.

Gambling has now become only one of a number of things i am changing in my life, but all are heading positively in the right direction.

I have become obsessed with getting fit, sorting out my finances and making plans and goals.

It was stopping gambling that has sparked a new focus and enthusiasim in me, and i am really so much happier.

I have given up fighting and in doing so am winning.

Loving life.

Sbb

Hi just stopping by and read the last few entries, so pleased for you, your doing so well in many areas, keep focused x