So I previously around this time last year gave up gambling, maybe only for 2 months or so. Here I am attempting to go again, when I started again i told myself, small stakes and keep in control. Turns out I couldn't do that. So I've self excluded again, some now offer a lifetime exclusion - handy! Anyway I think one of the things that got me through last time was this thread, was the accountability and then proving to myself that I can do it!
Day 2 - I spoke to the OH last night told her about my gambling. Things had been starting to breakdown between us recently as I spent a lot of time on my phone betting on whatever I could and she would be watching TV. I confessed all and it really helped and shes in a position to help me. We talked about what the plan was to replace gambling going forward, we determined that I boredom gamble a lot. (Or have done...). So now we've put measures in place to control this going forward, a couple examples are;
We've also planned a contingency should I need it that she will take my cards off me leaving me with only our joint bank account for money (and which she has oversight of). Feeling so much better about this all now I've spoke to OH.
Day 3 - Gym went well last night. I got home and the OH was away. MASSIVE urge to gamble as I was the only one in the house and there was sport on, football and greyhounds. I resisted anyway and kept myself focussed doing other things. Can't believe its day 3 already.
Well done on coming clean again JJ & good to see you still have loved ones on board 🙂
Have you given any thought to outside help like GA or counselling as was suggested on your 1st thread? This is a tough journey & you have already tried & failed with this current method. We cannot win because we cannot stop so you do need to let go of the idea of ever being able to gamble again. It may feel like a financial problem but it's not, it's an addiction problem & many people cross addict because they put in barriers but don't address the root cause of their addictions. There are people on here who have switched between machine, scratchcards, online...An alcoholic can't just drink wine.
Keep taking to your loved ones & fighting the urges, you can arrest this - ODAAT
I tried and failed I think because I didnt want to stop. Now I really do - priorities have changed and I want to stop the cycle for good as I can finally see the effect it has. When previously tried I was living at home and the OH was away a lot, it gave rise to significant opportunity and I enjoyed it. I simply dont anymore and haven't for months now but hadn't seen what it was doing to my life. Now I've seen that and I could lose everything (OH, house, job, car, everything..) I really have seen the demon that it has been.
I'll be honest my experience with counselling hasn't been ideal and Im fairly sure I can tackle it on myself. ,My OH is clean in the open now, she hadn't previously known certain aspects. Feel this time is different as its a full lifestyle change and approach
Day 4 - first major challenge I think. OH away visting a friend and I was left. The urges creeped in but I managed to control them. I went to visit my grandparents, cooked off some food for dinner and also prepared lunch and tomorrows dinner. My gambling really was just boredom gambling I think - I really do see light at the end of the tunnel. I may be a bit naive but im feeling better
Day 5 - no intention of betting yesterday. Keeping the ball rolling and socialising this Friday night rather than in watching the greyhounds and rugby. Have a good day
Day 6 check in. Today's been easy so far due to the hangover. Normally a night out and casino go hand in hand with me. Resisted and socialised with friends.
Day 7 check in, its absolutely flown. I think once I get my mind set on something I really can do it, I watched a lot of sports yesterday without any intention - or urge - to bet on them! Im genuinely interested in a few sports so it can be hard at times to separate the sports and the gambling but I've managed to do it yesterday. Hope everyone is well 🙂
Day 8&9 check in. Yesterday was absolutely fine no thoughts on gambling at all. Hoping for similar today
Day 10 check in. Not thinking about gambling at all anymore it's been a lot easier than previous times I've done this. More so because of OH support. Even watched the England game last night without any thoughts, just enjoyed the sport
Day 11 check in. I think keeping yourself busy removes a lot of urges. I dreamt that I had a bet last night and then felt utter disappointment. Glad it was just a dream
Day 12 - gambling feels like a distant memory but there's always that little thought of "what if". I need to control that, the more I control that the better I control the addiction and stay GF. Friday nights and weekends are the hardest part so gearing up to keep myself busy this weekend. Going to go to gym tonight, swim, sauna etc and really spread the time out. Need to plan the rest of the weekend with OH.
Day 13/14 check in - doing well and staying gamble free despite watching rugby this weekend
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