Angry, disgusted, disappointed, frurious, annoyed with myself are a few words I choose right now! I have done so well for so long, but then bam! Back to square one with disgust in the pit of my stomach! So here i go, got too comfortable!! Was at my friends one night, who also probably in all honesty has a gambling problem too. A night at hers, a few glasses of wine and then gambling began. Me even going to the bank to give her money to play on her account?! What an earth was I thinking?!! Just because I was so desperate to gamble!! I've let myself down and I'm so cross with myself! I spent money which could of paid my debt down instead of flushing it down the toilet! Don't get me wrong, I've come a long way in paying my debt down, but I could of done more and I can do more! Just an awful feeling to know after so long I've flushed it all down the toilet! These feelings I have right now, I don't want!! The can't concentrate feeling, feeling you are there in person, but mentally you aren't. The sleepless nights with the dread as soon as you wake up. These are all things I've loved not having and I've brought them back to myself!! No one else. But me! Why would I make myself feel this way?! I do not want these feelings anymore, I can't have these feelings anymore...it's not a life, its existence!! I can not go back to the way I was! Sadly, day 1 for me again!! 🙁
Hi charley, first things first, sorry to hear about your troubles, if you really had enough lets get it fixed shall we? 😉 while I appreciate everytime you play any form of gambling it is your choice making it your fault right? Of course thats true... But you cant blame yourself too much because it will make you misserable and self loath. What instead I recomend is accepting your what we call a compulsive/problem gambler (as am I FYI but more about me in a minute). If you really want change and I mean real change the only way I know to do this (I am working through this myself) is to first... Identify the problem... Your a gambler, great, problem identified. Had enough? Ok lets block any way I can gamble. Sign self exclusion forms everywhere it will make it highly inconvenient for you to gamble but when you get the urges you will still persevere to find ways around this so its important to cram all these steps together. The last step is to redirect energy! Find a passion. Maybe you love football or golf? Maybe walks or hikes? How about putting what you would normally put to gambling and spending it on groupon for an experience you'd like so that if ever you get an urge to gamble again you can actually quantify what your gambling away e.g. 2 super car experiences is £150 roughly suddenly that gambling doesnt seem such good value huh?
So plan of action:
Identify problem
Block easy ways of gambling by self excluding EVERYWHERE!
Redirect energy to a new passion... Fishing maybe, anything you can love 🙂
So about me... I am a compulsive gambler. I started playing roulette in portugal about 2-3 months ago and every day since I log onto different casinos. Most I lost in a day was £8000 worst day of my life. I really struggled to stop as some days I did make money... But when you loose that much in 1 day at age 24 your heading the wrong way! I came to gamcare and they got me to self exclude everything in one go! it worked but I had nothing to redirect my energy. I am making the biggest lifestyle choice you can imagine, in 4 months I join the RAF and I hope this will be my new passion to stop me gambling!
Keep us informed! Tell us your plans or actions taken so we can keep supporting you through 🙂 best of luck mate and stop blaming yourself so much! Fix it don't blame 🙂 finding a problem without trying a solution is just creating another bigger problem! Lets solve our problems one by one hey! 🙂
Charley, was it just the one crazy night? No excuses but maybe you shouldn't be yourself up too much. You have soon realised the error of your ways and looked to get back on the right track straight away.
Gaffer what are you joining up as?
Hi Charley....... I can relate to everything you have said relapsed today lost £800 money i had saved for a family holiday, had gone over a year GF in the past, thought i could have a gamble again it would do no harm.... how wrong i was ... dont be to hard on yourself its not easy ..all the best
paultheragejohnson wrote:
Charley, was it just the one crazy night? No excuses but maybe you shouldn't be yourself up too much. You have soon realised the error of your ways and looked to get back on the right track straight away.
Gaffer what are you joining up as?
Hi Paul,
just a logistics mover to give myself a chance to explore the world and make some great friends and face regular challenges. hopefully later in life I can progress to an officer of some sort but thats many years away from me applying 1 challenge at a time 😛
Charley, whats the latest? are you making any progress friend?
much love
gaffer
Hi Charley
Thought id check in to see how you are? I have had a recent relapse (on day 6 today), so dont worry about whats been and gone, and know that we can both get back on track and start a gf life again! We CAN do this, so dont beat yourself up about that one night. Only look forward dont look back - you got this!
Athena
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