Back again....something has to change

shaun442 wrote:

Evening,

So iv found myself failing back into the gambling cycle after a year gamble free.

At the moment I'm feeling really down and wondering if I will ever completely break this cycle. Is this normal for this to happen during recovery?

I'm going to try and get some sleep and hopefully wake up with a fresh head and fully motivated to fight this battle.

Shaun

shaun442 wrote:

Evening,

So iv found myself failing back into the gambling cycle after a year gamble free.

At the moment I'm feeling really down and wondering if I will ever completely break this cycle. Is this normal for this to happen during recovery?

I'm going to try and get some sleep and hopefully wake up with a fresh head and fully motivated to fight this battle.

Shaun

Hi Shaun , after being gamble free for almost three years i have fallen off the wagon .It started when i went on holiday and had a go on the bingo in the club , thought this would be ok, but no it wasnt , started getting scratchcards then ended up going back online.Managed to get back on most of the sites i had self excluded from convinced myself i would put deposit limits in place but this has gone on since Christmas and i have decided enough is enough.Not into the thousands but money i cant afford to spend .i started going on the slots, promised myself i would stick to bingo do the free games to start with , could have wthdrawn a few times ВЈ50 here and there , £100 maybe .This is money that would have helped us , but no thought i could win more.So now i have self excluded fron every site , i cant believe i was getting back into my old ways not to the same extent but i have nipped it in the bud now. Gambling just needs to be ignored completely it is like a disease worming its way into your mind, i have bought some clothes and stuff online this week , so much nicer to receive parcels being delivered then have nothing to show for your money , then worrying how you can explain the shortfall in your money to your other half, you have done the best thing Shaun , gambling is for losers.

Evening Clairy,

Firstly well done on starting gamble free for 3 years that's an amazing achievement, take this hiccup you've had as a learning curve - a reminder to yourself that you don't need gambling in your life. There are so many options out there to gamble like you say scratch cards, slot machine, bingo the list is endless and I guess it's trying to block these out to realise yea you might win the odd 50/100 but you will lose a far lot more.

Tonight iv been out to the pub with the lads and not put a single bet on not a single pound in a slot machine and you know what it feels good, yes it's only day two but I have to start somewhere. Markman pointed out some emotions I might be feeling and I can relate to them all, keep asking my self questions over and over again but just have to stay strong.

I'm hoping I got a good nights sleep tonight I really could do with it.

Stay strong everyone tomorrow is another battle and one we will win together.

Morning,

So as I thought not much sleep again last night, constant thoughts about how am I going to pay for this and that, how much money iv lost and even at one point said to my self go win it back try £20, but we all know that's not the case in time I'll be able to forget about the loses and move on.

So today looks like it's going to be another slow and quiet day so will stay focused.

Best wishes everyone lets all have a gamble free day.

Well done on Day 2, forget what is lost, it's gone. When you get your finances sorted and your new debts into the plan, you will be able to relax a little, knowing that in time the debt will be wiped out, but you will have enough to live off provided you remain gf. Enjoy your day.

Evening all,

So iv negotiated day 3 gamble free, this afternoon as been a bit difficult as completed all my jobs by half 2 but I come home had a cup of tea and relaxed.

You right Rhoda I have to forget about the loses but as we all know that's harder said than done but I know I have to.

I spoke to someone today from a counselling group and they have assigned me to someone just waiting for a call to arrange my first 121 very nervous but again and will have some courage to attend but I have to do something this time round if I'm to beat this addiction.

Marnman, hope your ok and had a good day.

Shaun

Well played Shaun. Day 3 done and on to day four. Well done for getting help. Opening up made a world of difference to me. On to day four...

Morning,

Day four completed luckily I had a few more jobs which kept me busy.

So with today be national day I know this will be a tough one for most gamblers - not that I'm overly into horse racing more just the odd £5 on a random horse but normally I let the girls pick a horse and put a pound on it for them as my grandad did for us many years ago, but today will be different that won't be happening I'm not running to the bookies to put my nans bets on either I have to stay strong and stay away.

So on to day 5 - the sun is shining so looks to be another beautiful day.

Stay strong everyone.

Shaun

A year is amazing. You can do it again. Hope you set a new PB.

Cheers,

Degenerate

Day 6,

So this weekend hasn't been as difficult as I had imagined, iv kept myself away from any forms of gambling.

Not going to lie the urges yesterday with everyone talking about the big race kinda thought I could have a little bet just for fun but I know being a compulsive gambler that 'little' bet would have a much bigger bet.

Iv got this week off work and it couldn't have come at a better time I really need some me time.

Hope everyone is doing ok this weekend I will spend some time reading diarys tonight/tomorrow.

Shaun

Hi Shaun,

I am pleased to see you make day 7. Hopefully your emotions are starting to settle down and you can see what a success the last week has been. I am really pleased for you as this is as good a start as any.

I usually feel a bit of a void following my first week of abstinence. Not sure if you experience the same but if you do make sure you keep yourself entertained - and try not to let one addiction become replaced by another - I generally find that when I do not gamble I spend far to much time eating or on the playstation!

Remember - one day at a day time - soon the days will start to fly by. You went a year once and can do that again and surpass!

Have a good day and stay in touch.

Mark

Hi Shaun,

You have been quite so far this week.

I hope all is well.

How are you doing my friend?

Evening all,

Day 8

What a difference a week can make this time last week I really couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel and feeling very sorry for myself but iv got through it and now focusing on the future.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Shaun

Evening all,

10 days gamble free...today was hard I let myself get into the position where if I wasn't strong I could have gambled but I didn't so I need to take the positives but also learn I can't put myself into that position again.

Tomorrow's a new day and another battle for us all..wish everyone well.

Shaun