The time has come to stop gambling once and for all. I have tired myself out with worry, stress, lies, anxiety and repeating the same mistakes over and over again. I can't keep living this life it's crushing me.
The longest I have remained gamble free for over the last 8 years is around 3 months before I slip back into old habits. I feel anxious, I struggle to sleep, I have very little self confidence or self esteem, always worrying about money and I feel like an awful person, with moods fluctuating constantly.
I think the main reasons I return to gambling or gamble is because I find my job stressful so use gambling to escape and also I struggle to deal with my emotions at times so gambling is a way of putting on a mask and escaping it. it's a life problem although I have a lot of things in my life that are positive ultimately I'm not completely happy with how I see myself otherwise I wouldnt return to gambling over and over.
I accept I am a compulsive gambler. I am addicted to gambling, but tomorrow I shall live in harmony with that. I will tell all to the people who matter and I will rebuild my life once more. I will also self exclude from the shop which is causing me damage.
A new honest start begins tomorrow. I want to make myself proud and be the person I should be. it's time to put this to bed once and for all.
I will work to make things better it will be no short fix but I can do this if I give it 100% every day.
I self exclude myself on websites and still manage to find one to use, any advice?
To kaskade1 - you can install blockers or get your internet provider to block gambling sites. You can find out more here: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do
Also, you could try posting your query in Overcoming Problem Gambling rather than diaries - hopefully more people will find it there.
Best wishes
Forum Admin
Well my mind has been racing and i've not slept very well the last two days since I stopped. Have felt very anxious and drained. Felt very restless.
Determined to keep myself safe and stay away from that first bet.
Will be a long and never ending road of recovery but today I embrace that and accept I can no longer gamble if I want to overcome all the problems gambling has caused.
Hi
Good opening post-seems like an honest and reflective self analysis.
How we deal with our emotions. You've got it!
Louis
Thanks! Still on track day 4 today have slept a lot better last two nights! Had a few urges today but telling myself how painful and harmful it would be to place that first bet. Funny how when the anger and upset clears the gambling brain tries to tempt you back in!
One day at a time will overcome this.
Had a stressful week at work but managed to control my emotions and remind myself of the harm of placing that first bet it would be a disaster. Outside of work ive found a bit of time to relax which has been good.
Later this afternoon it will be a week since I placed what I hope is my last bet.
I think when I get some spare time will look into counselling or a ga meeting and look at some techniques to overcome my anxiety/lack of confidencw.
One day at a time. Moving forward gamble free.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
