Going to keep this thread now!

hello ..Lady Warrior...I am still dinking and dumping on my diary....and keeping on the straight and expansive and not the narrow and chaotic...

You sound like you are doing well...the Zumba-ing etc...good on you for getting out and about...

I'm still a bit insular at the moment and not ready to committ to anything just yet but I will take your inspiration Freda and start planting seeds for restarting my hobbies....

Keep strong ...you are doing fab and I will also have to start reading some more diaries as have got a bit lax recently...supporters side a bit bare at the moment with postees......just worry where all these folk go...am sure its the same either end when folk just disappear....

Hugs and wuffs f ..xx (((((f))))) Rach n Doo xx

Hello O Wise One,

You talk a lot of sense hun i have taken on board what you've said and i think your spot on i need to back off from it for a while and just get healthy and straight.Try and get rid of some of my sludge so i can move better.

Your doing so well ,my god zumba hardcore workout if the ads are anything to go by yourll have abs and a b*m to be very proud off :0)

You seem to have turned a corner and things seem to be running smoothly for you.

Stay Strong

E xx

O Wise one - lol!!!! pfft!

Easier with other people isn't it? you can go "oh I went through similar, it helped me to do this" but when it is yourself, it is another story.

Well I have been back for more Zumba, and got all hot and sweaty - I love having wet hair, you know you have worked hard when yer hair gets wet!

I was supposed to be getting the train through to the next city to see a friend this afternoon, but I cancelled because I didn't think I was up to it. What a difference! actually accepting when I can't do something. I honestly think I put way too much pressure on myself in the past. It is ok to not yet be strong enough, to do loads all at once. I have had a nervous breakdown for goodness sake! I think I have a good sense now, of when I am isolating myself, and when I am just not up to it.

I had a very powerful experience yesterday, and it knocked me for six! I get Reiki healing on Saturdays, and I tried a new guy this week. The energy I was getting was extremely powerful, and I freaked out a little bit. It made me feel really sick and dizzy, but the bit that scared me was I felt like I was sinking into the unknown, much deeper than I have been before. I couldn't move! I knew it couldn't hurt me, but I had to sit up and cut it short. I was a bit shaky and sort of drunk afterwards, but he said that it was doing its job, and I would feel much better for it.

I know there may be some of you who think "cuckoo!" but there really are people who can heal very powerfully. People seem to vary in the intensity of their power to channel the energy but crikey that guy is good! I was a total cynic for ages, but there is no way that my mind could have created what happened yesterday. Oof!

Anyways, time to chill out.

If you thought that cancelling your visit to the next city to see your friend was the right thing to do then you did THE RIGHT THING!

Small steps, eh? You're right, it's no good putting all your eggs in one basket.

GT

Hiya Freda,

Love how your looking after yourself 🙂 You definetley sound good..it's great.

Big Hugs love Del x

Thanks GT and Del,

Well have just passed the 33 week mark here. For some reason I am fixating on 8 months as my next goal, so another 10 days or so to go! I am a bit anally retentive like that, some would say 32 weeks is 8 months, but its not is it? lol.

Have had a difficult day with moderate anxiety and some depression, but the cloud seems to have lifted already. It may have just been hormones.

Speaking of which - coffee and chocolate now I think!

Hi Freda

Glad you're moving along nicely and keeping an eye out for those demons. Some days are better than others so hopefully tomorrow should be a good one. Take care

Hey Hun,

I dont think your "cuckoo" my mum does Reiki and ever since i can remember whenever my brother or i hurt ourselves or felt ill my mum would hold what ever hurt and you could/can really feel the heat and it always felt better afterwards,she also makes car clocks go funny and blows up lots of kettles and irons.LOL

So glad things are going your way and nearly 8 months well done you.

Stay Strong

E xx

I need to have a bit of a rant!

PS thanks E!

My downstairs neighbour is one of those pathetic individual's who at the age of 50 odd still likes to be pointlessly rude, to wind people up. I'm really annoyed that I have let the fat, lazy, common as muck b*tch get me fuming.

They have our gas and electricity meters in their flat ( I know) and I sent a really nice text yesterday asking how she was, and could she please take a reading for us so we didn't have to pay the huge estimated bill we got. She texted back saying she would "do it later", and after having no further reply I texted her back this morning asking if I could have a meter reading please? What she doesn't know is I was in my bathroom at the time, and can hear pretty much everything in the room she was in. I heard her say something to her daughter, then her daughter started laughing her head off. Still no reply an hour later, so when I see her putting the trash out I head out as well. "I got your message" she says, no apology, and the chav who has no job but has bred with her daughter starts smirking. I just blink and say with a smile that lets her know I'm not stupid love, I know you are f*****G with me. " can I have a meter reading please? " the scummy breeder by this point has his hand over his mouth and his shoulders are shaking with laughter. Yeah she says, do you want to come in and do it now? now wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to go out and confront her, and she just got off her fat a**e and did it like a normal person?

Why do people act like d*cks just for sport like? she is in her 50's for fooks sake. She turns a simple thing into a week long battle.

We have an exercise stepper, and she asked if we could not use it on an evening because it made a noise through the ceiling. Seemed reasonable, so we just did it - no arguments. I think I might have a go on the stepper at 7 am tomorrow when the tramp is still in her pit.

I hate having to deal with morons! arrrrghhh!

Hi Freda

I symapthise eith your plight having to live next door to "space cadets". There are many ways in which you can get these people back and make their lives a misery. On the oter hand you can unload that trash that that put in your ruck sack and leave it anywhere you like such as on here. People do wind us up but it is "us" that gets wound up and they enjoy it. Next time you have to deal with these people take a deep breathe and deal with what you need to do. Then ignore them! They will move on to someone else once they know you are not going to play.

Take care and relax

Those people are idiots with no values in life.

Just make sure that they don't turn you into an idiot too. You have shedloads of values in life.

Stay calm and this situation will hopefully sort itself out.

Have a good day.

GT

Hi Freda... I can appreciate your annoyances with the breeding chavs down stairs. I wonder is it possible to have a meeter installed in your flat?? It seems odd that your meter is not in your flat or atleast in a cupboard outside your flat. can't do any harm to give em a call.

I live in a block of flats and we are a funny old mix of folk. We all mostly keep ourselves to ourselves and have chats in passing.. which is just the way I like it.. though I do have a soft spot for the old chap under my flat and his dog.

Anyways I hope things settle down again. take care... S.A 🙂

hi freda...just to say that i'm still reading your posts and with you in cyberspirit....x..my days of pain are coming to a close as moving to acceptance .....xx take care lovely am contactable via other channels if ever you choose... xxx Rach n Dot xx

Thanks for all the posts guys : )

I was over it within a couple of hours. I just hate the waste of energy it takes to deal with ignorant, difficult, and immature people. I can deal with them - but it takes so much out of me.

The good news is, these days I can laugh most stuff off. I am also getting better at not overcompensating. I used to jump through hoops to try to appease these kind of people, but now I simply accept that they are not my cup of tea. I will be civil, but not give a second thought as to whether they like me or not. It doesn't matter!

The problem with getting the meters moved is that it is extremely expensive (possibly a couple of grand), and energy companies are reluctant to pay for it. I may be legally entitled to insist someone other than myself is responsible for paying, I don't know. We would still have to get the thick f*ckers downstairs to co-operate, if we were to have them moved though.

To be honest, if it were our forever home here, we would do it - but we are hoping to move on in the next couple of years (we bought low, so don't have to worry about negative equity) so overall, it is easier to go through this once every 6 months, then let the next owners deal with it.

Anyways, on the gambling front, no problems although I have had several gambling dreams in the last week, which re-ignite the memories, and the compulsion a bit.

Hey Hun,

Thankyou for the post hun.

Never understood why some people just go out of their way to be annoying.But given your rather delightful description of them you really wouldnt expect any thing less.

As for your dreams ive read a few people on here have had them its one thing i've never had apart from winning the lottery but never had dreams about gambling as such.

Keep going onwards and upwards hun.

Stay Strong

Exx

PS good stamp across the floor about 7.ooam :0)