Going to keep this thread now!

Just checking in, to say all is good this end : )

...just keep swimming ...just keep swimming ...

Thanks f ....always good to see your name appear...

hugs

R and D

unconditinal xxxx

Hi Freda, thank u sooo much 4 ur post and continued support. It means alot 🙂

I am so glad that things are going ok 4 u, it's ppl like u that give me soooo much hope. No matter wot life throws ur way, u still stay gamble free. U r a really strong person Freda and ur words are always comforting. Thank you 🙂

Stay strong xxxxxxxx

Hi Freda.. good to to hear that all is good. Its good to feel good isn't it. Cheers for your support as always... S.A 🙂

Just doing my check in every few days. Not doing great on the depression front today, but have had some really good patches too lately.

Still no stupid gambling.

Hiya Freda

Glad to see your still around and feel for you struggling with depression....

like you say there ...you're making the right choices and i'm wishing that the down times pass more quickly for you.

still reading and occasionally post but have run out of insights to write...life this end very normal...and normal is good xx

night night

R and D xx

Hi Freda,

I hope things get better 4 u soon 🙂

U r such a strong person and deserve nothing but happiness 🙂

Take care xxxxxxxx

"Still no stupid gambling."

Now that's what we all like to hear!

NT

hiya Freda...

Its sooo muggy today that I feel zapped of energy....but yes..you are right on the possessions and on top of all the cd's etc i to have about 200 dvds!! which are just taking up space and cluttering.

a lot of "stuff" i buy when im depressed and a lot of this home entertainment stuff was bought when i was agarophobic years ago due to my panic attacks...it was like I was hoarding stuff around me in the bunker preparing for war!...or never going outdoors again!

So cathartic this is....a declutter of epic proportions and it is amazing how you feel lighter.

Less is more ....and I think your library loan system of dvds sound great...lets face it...they change all the technology so fast that we have to re buy it all again....Most of my dvds I have also on video too!!!! so twice duplicated...

I don't have any religious views really being brought up C of E...but out of all of them the Bhuddists seem to have some good ideas.

At the end of the day there is a big difference between "wants" and "needs" isn't there....and we don't need much to be happy.

Right hun...off to get my man from the train xx

R and D xx

Thanks for your post on my diary. I'm not going to give anything away but it definitely isn't going to be 'there'. The main reason for this is that I am a firm believer that none of us CGs will ever be 'cured' of this terrible addiction. We just need to keep fighting it.

Obviously the longer we are into our recovery journey, the easier it is.

Hope you had a good day.

NT

Hi Freda,

Thank u 4 ur lovely post on my diary. It really means alot 🙂

I hope u r ok and staying stong 🙂

Have a gr8 wknd xxxxxx

Hi f... ta for your thoughts.. hope your having some good patches this weekend. Funny thing is I twas jogging along the canal this morning and ran passed this shed. I glanced in and saw a head. I reckon it might be yours ya know.. so anyways here it is if ya want it back ( head )... 😉

On a serious note, try not to be jealous of the fact that am hanging on in my job. Ive crumbled many a time in the world of work and I feel on edge every day I go to work. Any day could be a day of reckoning for me. I don't think ive ever gone from one job to another without a period of crisis and upheaval in the middle. I didn't do paid work for more than 2 years when i went into rehab. I enjoyed it loads when i was volunteering.. much less pressure.

Anyways.. hopes your ok.. update when you want to.. cheers... S.A 🙂

Hi Freda,

Thanks for posting on my diary and for your support. You are well over a year without the 'stupid gambling' as you so accurately put it. So congratulations are in order and a pat on the back, no two pats on the back and a self-high five (if they exist).

I know that you have been having your ups and downs recently so hang in there. Those cirlces of happiness will get bigger like a ripple on lake after a stone has been dropped in.

Take care and stay safe and strong,

your friend,

Paulds

Hi Freda,

Thank u 4 ur post on my diary 🙂

I want 2 say a huge thank u 2 u, it's ppl like u that have supported me since day 1, thru the good and the bad. It really means alot 🙂

Without everyone's support I would not have stuck at this journey. So thank u xx

Hope u r ok 🙂

Have a gr8 day xxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks you lot! : )

Haven't been updating much lately. Have been drifting out of following other people's stories too. Just been kind of getting stuck into real-life face to face stuff more. For me, it is a good sign that I post on my diary less, because these diaries are a funny old thing. Everyone uses theirs in a different way.

For me, if I am using the forum a lot, it is a sign that I am withdrawing from people in real life more and more (what I mean is face to face life, as supposed to cyber life where you can be more anonymous and hide-y). Obviously people's diaries are real life, but anonymously so.

A really interesting realisation dawned on me recently. Someone said something that really resonated. I was talking about how sly and two faced I felt about criticising someone behind their back, because they didn't get to defend themselves - and the support worker said "but it is very scary standing up to people you feel intimated by. It does not mean that you are a two faced person if you can't speak to someone directly, it is because you don't feel confident doing so. There is nothing wrong with that" and I thought wow! I never thought about it like that, and you are soooo right. I think this is the main reason why people don't sort out their differences face to face, it is really scary! It is scary enough for confident assertive people, let alone anxious depressed people with low self confidence.

I think that is the main thing though, isn't it. If you are having problems with someone, to speak to the right person confidentially. If you tell anyone who will listen, that is bad behaviour. That is b******g. Really funny that, I am looking forward to talking about it in counselling, because it has really stopped me from giving myself a hard time, and highlighted a reason I may bottle my feelings up, in certain situations. Someone trustworthy will listen to how you feel, and sympathise and help you to work out a solution, but it will go no further.

None of this has anything to do with anyone on this forum, it is all F2F stuff.

I have been having problems lately with a couple of people I find really intimidating. They are really aggresive with their opinions, anger easily, are touchy, and don't deal with it very well if they have a problem with someone. They will make snide comments, then deny it was about you and things of that nature. It is really difficult to deal with passive aggressive people like this, because they will never admit to the problem, but just treat you badly in more sneaky sly ways. I feel really uncomfortable around this sort of hostility. If I am so upset with someone, that I can't hide it, I will stay out of their way or confront them. It is a horrible feeling having someone being really barbed with you, but you don't know why. My rule of thumb is, if I can't be civil with you, I shouldn't be around you.

That felt really good, having a good old cathart!

I think I should kind of state quite openly on my diary, that I am not following anyone's diary regularly anymore. I think it is fair to just be open about that, so no one feels a bit "oh I wonder if I have done something wrong". The reasons for this are 100% just about me and no one else. The people I posted to regularly are often in my thoughts, and I enjoy checking in on them to say hi and give em a cyber hug, and have a catch up.

If anyone ever wants my advice or opinion on anything, I still check my diary at least once a week, so thats cool. Sometimes we have a dilemma and we think "such and such would be a good person to talk to about this, because they have been through similar" or "I value their opinion" or whatever.

Anyway - bye for now!