Hope

Hey SA..

Im glad there's not just me that thinks to way and I'm sure there are many more. Driving home tonight I also thought the same which I think about a lot too.

A life consumed with distractions of work and personality conflicts and then being exhausted in the mind and soul to explore potential .

I'm a jack of all trades , master of none ..I listen to a lot of interviews on radio 4" sportsmen and women musicians, authors etc etc who from being about 2 yrs old have felt compelled in a certain area of life to achieve a lifetimes vocation. I think those people are lucky.

I have no clue what I'm supposed to be doing to be honest. As I won't be raising a family I am what Oscar Wilde once called a "superfluous man" ..an outboard motor, on the outside looking in like those Xmas scenes of the little match girl looking into the window of cosy family life.

I've accepted this in many ways but I still have no idea what my purpose is in the outside world, I know it on the inside but it does not keep a roof over my head.

Aside doing voluntary services overseas I can think of no use for my skills..children give you purpose and I know we have had looked at this before but I'm the same as a few people on this site, the difference is I'm female and that is probably more unusual at my age.

Sun goes up...Sun goes down.

let's get all Zen xxx

Morning S,A

Massive congratulations on the year gamble free and example and inspiration to everyone just showing what can be achieved by working hard at it and importantly making the right decision each day and choosing not to gamble

Up most respect to you

Castle2

You ARE an inspiration! Congrats on achieving a year.... now onto the next year!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNjggrxUQ78

Well here it is....day 365.... I year without a single penny gambled on anything.

Thank you everybody for your supportive words, analysis and encouragement, not just since my last post but in the last 5.5 years since I started this diary.

This is the second time that I have reached a year in this diary and the third time ive reached a year since I first started to try and stop gambling way back at the turn of the century!

What does it all mean??... Well its perseverance if nothing else... so I guess well done to me for my dogged determination.

In my late twenties I gambled every day, mostly on slot machines, but also lottery products and the occasional horse. For a time when credit was plentiful i'd take out hundreds on debit cards and credit cards and stand at machines until I didn't have the bus fare home. It completely screwed my mind doing that day in and day out...but I did do it.

I must remember how awful it is to live that way. I must remember the awful consequences of gambling my money away over and over again. I must remember why I don't want to gamble anymore. My story continues.... thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

S.A.

Great post. Amazing achievement.

Like I said to DMac when he first reached a year gambling free - you deserve it. You have shown absolute, unconditional committment to your recovery.

Delighted for you.

Tomso.

Hey SA,

Well done my friend!!! Recovery is bespoke and people like you just proves that it is possible to get piece of ourselves back each day we abstaining. Battle for the freedom goes on SA... and you are not fighting a storm...you learned how to dance in a rain...

Great achievement and huge inspiration for us all 😉

Take care

S x

Hi SA

A huge congratulations on achieving all you have done thus far....it has been a pleasure reading your progress.

I look forward to following the next chapter.

Take care

Irene

x

SA,

Hello my old friend and congratulations on reaching one year. I'm delighted for you. Keep it up and remember it's only one day at a time.

I'm still going great without gambling and home life is fantastic. The debts still annoy me but they are decreasing. The gambling mind still returns every now and then and I'm also working on my obsession with money.

Best of strength and peace to you.

Brian

Hey SA ...

A big congrats on the 1 year ...amazing and inspiring to many on here I should imagine.

Well done and keep on keeping on xxx

R and D x

Day 366.... and thanks all.

Am feeling bit depressed today even though ive got a day off work... but hey ho that's life.

Thoughts of exiting stage left from my diary or stopping the count or making some statement about only posting occasionally "cos ive got it beat" etc etc.... but in truth am still vulnerable to a f*** up, cos I have not made sufficient changes in my 3D life and I don't have a lot of support in my 3D life.... so, in short I carry on as I am. Thats the way its got to be, so that's the way it is.

No gambling today. Thanks for listening... S.A

Hey SA,

Thank you for the post and can really relate to your feelings. I had nearly two weeks off and since my 3D life is not too exciting i don't seem to have done a lot in this time. You are like me, searching for that something in 3D life to help us move forward with the life. Not that easy ey?

Changes definitely needed, but are the hardest to make.

Keep posting and you will always have your honest and faithfully friends on here 😉

Be kind to yourself and carry on carrying on!!

Doing well my friend

Sandra x

Hi SA

Well done! It is amazing how far you have come. I am new ish on here, but have read a lot of your diary. You really need to realise just how much you have helped others by posting your diary.

I think the problem that we have is that we need to be addicted to something. I have not long started running. This not only has helped my fitness, but also gives you that time to clear your head away from everyday distractions.

Stay strong mate. You are helping others, which should make you feel very proud!

Rich

SA

Fella great to see you go through the years gamble free monicker, you join the 3% club a rare and exclusive club at that.

I have enjoyted your honesty in your diary and wish oyu well in it's cointinence.

Regards you feeling a little low today maybe it's atributed to the passing of a years abstinence and what's to show for it??

From were I read a great deal my friend, keep making the right choice.

A huge well done from me!!

Duncs stepping forward never back.

P.s sorry I am a day late the forum would not let me log on yesterday at all!!!

Hey S.A

Thank you very much for your post and i take big deal from your words. I have to be glad I've got job altogether. And probably i just still try to rush into things. Always been like that, and that's made me to take more wrong decisions than good ones. My nature..I need patience and to weigh positives and negatives about the change.

I believe in myself, and will come out the other end eventually 😉

Went for a run ? YAY watch out i might catch you ( off for mine too)

Take care

Sandra x

Day 366 continues....

Well ive cheered up a bit. I had a good run, 10 km in 51 and a bit minutes but then had to stop due to blister.

Am going to get on and do positive stuff this afternoon and evening. Am staying with the programme. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂