Hope

Hey SA,

Sorry I missed your milestone yesterday...that one year mark is a hell of an achievement, but its also natural to reflect about things after that.

Glad you enjoyed the run, and hope the popping of the blister was satisfying! I know there are those pads that go over blisters, but I always pop mine if I ever get any. My old walking boots tend to be the culprits, and on long wet winter days, its easy to pick up a couple of blisters.

All the best mate, keep powering on for year two!

Ryan

So sorry I missed your first year celebration as you have supported me so often and cheered me up no end when I first joined the site with the thoughts of you running and climbing mountains in those red high heels.

Massive congratulations and may the next year bring you the job of your dreams alongside peace of mind and your fastest marathon ever.

xxx

Hi S.A

Really glad to see you're still going strong with your recovery, over a year, thats amazing!!

I can only aspire to get to this stage! Good to see the fitness regime is still very active!

Take care and well done mate,

Jimbo

Day 368... with not a penny gambled in that time.

Its all getting s**t again at work. Some staff are just useless, no initiative and rubbish with the clients. That's the bottom line. Today it grates on me. Thanks for listening... S.A

The good news is ..same s**t different day but you are still holding your head above water SA...imagine what you could do in a job you liked and supportive staff..?

I've been looking at other work this week...just putting the feelers out as it's good to see what's out there xxx

Day 369.... and not a penny gambled in that time.

Thanks Rach.. like you say, same s**t different day. f*** a doodle do.

Feels like history is about to repeat itself. Strong urges to just resign.

Got to get my s**t together and find a new job.

No escaping, no gambling, no drunkenness, no drugs, no zoning out to ****.

Am doing well, am not doing any of these things but its hard just looking at my reality square in the face and not taking the edge off in any way shape or form.

My life ain't that bad really, but I feel miserable.

And no I don't want a short course of CBT.

Thanks for listening... S.A

P.s This is me just dumping my s**t on here. Its what I do. I tend to feel a bit better after the s**t has hit the page.

Hey SA..and...Join the club :-)))))

Shared pain is half pain..shared joy is double joy!!

Oh i can so relate to ur post...i had my head f.....all 13 hours only couse a ****** i work with decide to have a stress head on.....different day same s**t my friend..wonderful 🙂

I wish yours is better today, i'm just completely finished of for today lol.....

Keep searchng for a new job SA...you need to look after no 1..

Take care

S x

Day 370.... and again, not a penny gambled in that time.

Thank you both 🙂

By the end of the day I felt much better, partly because it was the end of the working week and partly because yes Rach I am very much holding my head above water.

I cope with the day to day fluctuations in my emotional health without doing anything daft...like gambling my money away. I accept that I am a functional depressive with a gambling problem who can wear a smiley faced mask and I can live with it. In the great scheme of things I am ok.

Small piece of good news. Many years ago I put myself on a housing association waiting list for a nice block of low rise flats in a nice area. I thought yeah i'd like it here. Amazingly 8 years later they've written to me to ask if I still want to be on the list! I say yes. Its given me a focus to save for. I will at least have a look when I am eventually offered something.

Its something to save for as well. Helps to have a bit of money in the bank to be able to move. If I was gambling it simply wouldn't be an option cos i'd have no money to pay for moving, carpet etc etc.

I intend to keep my s**t together. A progressively better quality of life I will have. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

I love that .."I tend to feel better when the s**t has hot the page" ...I do too!!!

Im amazed I've managed to keep all this s**t inside all these years..no wonder I've been constipated..lol lol I'm surprised we all haven't exploded.

I also feel a similar way about patch up..I think it's a big part of why I kept things in in the first place. I am around people all the time whereby if I express I am not feeling so good (mentally) I mean not physically, they try and get me to either take something or go for counselling when really I just want to express whatever it is and let time pass.

Looks like you have a moving project to look forward to SA..This means I shall have to invent more Ikea ditties ...lol

R and D xx

Hey SA,

Great to read you are getting balance with yourself and great news about future moving. It's great to have a purpose to concentrate on, i do try to save for deposit for the house....hmmm in next 6 years lol...but the main thing is, even those few pounds aside will keep adding up...

Have a good weekend SA...enjoy every minute of it 😉

Take care

Sandra x

SA

fella thanks for the post upon my thread this week always raises a smile to read your thoughts, I am in the sanctuary of my own library today, there is not a soul in the place, today it is like having my own office lol

Now where is my PA!!!!!

Keep making the right choice my friend and yes life will improve, or without doubt it wont get worse.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 371 (53 weeks).. without a gamble of any kind.

Thanks for your thoughts folks.

Ive had a good run, a fast 10km followed by a slow 10km. Very enjoyable, perfect running weather; cool, no wind, dry and no ice and no blister this time!

Played snooker last night, which was fine. I enjoyed friends company. I had two Guinness with a splash of black currant. They went down smooth they did. I haven't had a drink for ages. No urge to get drunk and no urge to gamble. Cycled home in my reflective gear and lights. Very sensible I was.

Onwards, day at a time. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

P.s It crosses my mind that with not gambling I am starting to buy things that I would never buy if was gambling. Who needs bike lights and a reflective jacket when gambling is one's priority??

Be thankful that you are able to run 20km and that you have friends to play Snooker with on a Saturday night. Would improve my life considerably if either of those options was open to me.

Well done on continued abstinence.

Sounds like a good weekend, just need to get that job sorted so weekdays are as good.

Know what you mean about money - I actually get quite excited planning what to buy nowadays instead of robbing peter to pay paul all the time.

Stay safe and warm

xxx

Hey SA,

Wow 20 km is great!!!

I must of done about 8km today. Had so many thoughts in my head, didn't even listen to the music...could of run much longer but knew darkness was gonna catch up with me(and i have no shiny stuff on me lol...only blond hair ).....you are right, weather was glorious.

Good to read you enjoyed your weekend and have safe atributes in place to see your way home safely. Well done!!

Take care and take it easy at work

S x