Hi
Who ever is reading my forum. I have been gambling for years at various periods of time. I would not say I'm a full time gambling addict but they are periods when it catches me and I gambling heavily for periods of times until maybe the debts are too high or literally get bitten so hard it takes a lot of me.
I would say I had strong will power before but maybe lied to myself and others in recent years that I do have some problems but hard headed to admit.
So after being burned a number of times, losing X,Y, Z amounts of money when I've had only intentions to maybe play £5/£10 Just one spin that dropped next to a big payout number can just set me off on a hell bend path of hitting the belly and getting paid out. I believe maybe a small part of me want to get a big big win just for alil payback from all the other times.
But seriously I have a lil girl and ive lose connections with good friends and family over money borrowing not paying back on time, cancelling plans cuz I've just wasted all my money on gambling when I had no need or reason to even go in there etc I've wasted so many days & hours either gambling and once I've lost all my money sitting at home in a room hungry, annoyed while I see people living life on the smallest budget and I've just lost 4x's that amount and now thinking of all the things I could of done with my money and blah blah blah. I have to admit once I start my limits go out the window. I lose my cool and instead of thinking I've lost X,Y,Z leave with £100 yes it might be my last £100 until i get paid again but at least i still have something but not me I would put in that last £100 in hope of trying to recover all my losses. And I have done this countless amounts of times and the mood it puts me in are the worse something i would not wish on anyone.
So I'm making my pledge today to start a recovery from gambling and too be honest I want to stop it all not get to a responsible gambling level because as long as you still gamble you leave the door open for the bad losses, reckless actions etc.
This is the first time in my life i have done any type of forum or blog, Ive read other peoples never done my own. So I wish this helps me on my journey and if anyone is following I wish it helps you too.
So ladies and gents this is Day 1 - currently at work dont think today will be a issues but best not get cocky stay focused. I got more to gain and just as much more too lose if I fail.
Hope you all have a good day if not good just hope its not a very bad day. Catch you on day 2
Welcome nick
Story sounds familiar as it could of been written by any one of us here, I used to gamble my bus fair home as I was sure it would pay out to someone else as soon as I moved the 10 mile walk home wasn't great . Crazy old addiction really because at the end you just want your money you put in back so what's the point ? I'm great full that I'm old fashioned and never went via the online route. I preferred to use their electricity and tea facilities lol
It's always good to see a new face on the forum the more that are here the less their are there .
Just thought I'd drop you a welcome
Deano
Thanks Deano
Trust me I could over a number of stories gambling at the most stupid times etc. but peeps this is day 2 smooth and easy as day 1. I get paid this friday so that is the biggest hurdle to jump first but after joining on here yesterday i signed up to a gambling addiction newcomer meeting. I know i'm not a hard hard gambling addict but I have to ADMIT i have a problem with when i do start to gamble. and i never tho i would go or entertain a meeting like that but I got the meeting tomorrow evening. So I'll let you lot know how it goes. I seirously hope on my journey to recovery many of you join and enjoy life cuz I watched a show yesterday on drug and alcohol addiction and realised any form of addiction takes you away from enjoying and living a happy life. it takes your social life either slowly or quickly away from you but one way or another it is going to take it the longer your in any type of addiction.
Wish me luck tomorrow and wish you all more life
Day 3
to be honest I have not even tho of about gambling. I have been so involved with works and changing process which is all of benefit to time. I also got roung to making up with a old friend which our friendship got damaged due to my gambling problems and depressing times. So some positive has boosted the day. I do have to be wary that keeping your mood positive is very important as yesterday evening I got quiet annoyed with a girl of mine and I know in the past that can just trigger me off to do something stupid but I stayed calm as I know I'm on a path small path to redemption i call it lol.
So yeah I got my first gamblers meeting tonight at 6:45 so please do wish me luck. I fully intend on commiting and getting this pity gambling out of me. I wish all the others out there all the best and more life.
signing out.
Day 4
Today was payday and I aint felt an urge to gamble any of it. I went to a gamblers meetings yesterday and it was the best thing I ever done . I have the biggest weight lifted off my shoulders to actually admit in a room front of people I'm a complusive gambler. After meeting I told two of my friends and my sister and I have never felt so good in a long time. Today is friday payday. I'm going to meet some old work lot for drinks, sunday is mothers day. I know the rule no gambling in anyway shape or form or its back to the hells of gambling i go.
So day day 4 feeling good and I'm looking forward to each day that goes by and I get stronger. I plan to attend my weekly meeting with the groups as hearing other peoples stuggles and recovery stories only helps boost you and stay strong.
Hope you lot enjoy your weekend and seek the help it will be the best thing you can ever do.
Hi Nick.
Lovely to read that you have not spent any of your salary on gambling. This was my one biggest downfall and in my worst periods, I had even spent almost every penny of my hard earned salary in just a few hours!! Doing this, brought about the worst anxiety and stress ever and a position I never want to be in ever again.
Look after yourself and your wages and stay positive.
Our Lady
Thank u lady for message I have done the same countless times and always said this is the last time and for once I believe it myself. It's Sunday day 6 still no gambling in anyway shape or form as advised in my gamblers meeting. It's a line I can't cross if I ever wanna get over this illness and I'm happy I've had one of the best weekend in a long long time no worries or thoughts on money enjoying the sun, family and friends. The best quote I gt told - life is beautiful when u don't gamble and hell when u do
Day 6 - things are going good and I'm sticking to plan no gambling and I'm feeling the benefits in my life in regards to my moods the way I view and see myself now, I feel like I have opened up afew pages to me and I don't feel like I wanna just stop there. I had a dream on the weekend I was at a machine and I put in £10. I felt so bad and ashamed I felt the panic of thinking what am I gonna do am I gonna lie on here and continue as normal or admit gambled but shame of thinking it's only been a few days. But it was a dream and boy am I relieved. Yes I am happier but I do hav to pause sometimes and have a moment to breath and go over plans to work on fixing the mess the gambling has put u in and then think of doing things to keep u in a positive focus. So I'm gonna start gym get my fitness bk a lot of damage from smoke and bad eating. Gonna love myself more and take care of myself. I hope anyone who is reading and suffering with gambling go and make that step. Get help u can go to places were ppl won't judge u and are there tryna get the same help as u. Make the step, live the more life, more happiness no less life. No matter hw big a win u get if u have the problem it might nt go soon maybe later but it will go and u will just be bk in that same blk hole. Day 7 roll on 8.
Day 8 - no gambling no problems
hey
I've not been on here much and updating the recovery story. I have still not gambled since starting this forum which I'm very happy I have not. I have gone to two GA meetings now which is also helping me and being around other open gamblers which have not gambled and just like me trying to keep that record going and stay away from it.
I have had some moments like over the weekend which I felt to gamble and I was abit upset I could not do a weekend accumlator as they was so many teams playing. but I knew I can not do a small bet as entering into any form of gambling will lead back to old habits and the same depressing outcomes.
I hope others are fighting the addiction and having success stories
Day 29
I stand here on day 29 proud of myself as I once so lost, so depressed, so ashamed of my constant repeated gamblind cycle messing up stuff when things were going good and feeling like a waste and feeling a shawdow of myself.
Tomorrow will be 30 days and I have no worries or fear of the days ending. I'm striving to get to the 90 day mark and thats when I know we have reallly made it.
I hope anyone reading this gets the help they need as trust me left without gambling is beautiful. Yes you might have money issues and stuff but if you face them head on and not try make money from gambling, your mood, health will be so much better.
Wish you all the best.
Day 79 - I'm 11 days away from 90 days. Long journey but a life changing journey. The way I live life now and handle stress and any difficult financial moments is all different. I have learned patience and sometimes hard work gets you the things you really need not a lucky bet or lucky day. Good luck to you all and hope you all achieve the success of overcoming the gambling demon.
Take Care Nick
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