No more half hearted efforts

Hi GirlJ.

Wishing you the best of luck. Those of us who refuse to give up, ultimately, will make our lives better.

Stay strong and use this forum to help you on your way.

Take care.

Our Lady.

Thanks our lady. I won't let relapses convince me I can't beat this. I'll get back up on the horse a million times if I have to but one day my outcome will be gamble free and I can promise that.

Xxx

Just checking in to say I'm 13 days gamble free. I am pleased as it's an achievement but also realistic of the fact that it's mainly down to the fact I have no money. But not getting negative on myself. I'm feeling positive I have waaaay too many bills to pay come payday to afford even £1 on gambling so I'm hoping I can focus on my bills and I have sufficient blocks in place. Time will tell I will check in again soon.

J xx

13 days is fantastic, I'm on day 5 and already feel empowered that I'm not spending all my money on gambling. Hang on in there GirlJ

Thanks Sharon we'll done on 5days gf. 5 mins is an achievement in our books I guess so we have done well.

Day 14 for me now. No urges. Not many thoughts the only time I have thought of it is when I come on here and write or read others. I just want payday to arrive cos then for me that's when the real gamble free days count. 8 or so days away. Apprehensive but encouraged. Don't let this one slip j!

Hi Gj

Pay day was my one big downfall too. Just make sure you have some good barriers in place, to prevent you from gambling any of your salary away. What I find useful, is setting myself some mini goals for each pay day. This gives me something to focus my money on and gives me pleasure when I am able to tick them off too!

Take care and remember, you have probably, like the rest of us, worked extremely hard for your money. Don't let them gambling sites have any more of it. They are already "raking it in". Let's face it, do we ever see bookmakers/online gambling sites closing down/going into liquidation?! Don't think so.

Take care and be kind to yourself when payday arrives.

Our Lady.

Thanks our lady.

It's mad it's so easy now as I don't have money I haven't had one single ute or want for it I know it's because I know I can't but I haven't thought oh I wish I could get money to gamble. I honestly agree with the song 'more money more problems' ha.

All my pay is earmarked for bills etc but at the end of the day it always is and I've gambled it before. I'm really willing pay day to come so that I can start to really fight this because at the moment it's easy there's no trying needed. I'm ready to tackle this head on and the first hurdle is next week. I shall be very active here that day, I have all the blocks I can think of in place.

J xx

19 days gamble free. Only 4 days til pay day. Feeling clear headed and rational but know to well it can just in a heartbeat so being vigilant that the other side of my personality doesn't wanna come out to play when I get paid. I swear I don't know that girl. Gamble mad and not a worry in the world how the bills will get paid. Mad how we can be two different people when it comes to addiction and when we're distance ourselves from it's grips eh? The mind boggles.

Happy for today, just thinking out loud 🙂

J xxx

Hi G.j

Lovely to read you are clocking up your days. Just try to remember how quickly you can lose your money but (from the voice of experience), just how much longer and time consuming it takes, to try to sort things out when we have missed payments and have to ring these people up etc to explain why! It's just not worth the heartache and the misery is it?

Take care and be kind to yourself.

Our Lady

Hi G.j

Lovely to read you are clocking up your days. Just try to remember how quickly you can lose your money but (from the voice of experience), just how much longer and time consuming it takes, to try to sort things out when we have missed payments and have to ring these people up etc to explain why! It's just not worth the heartache and the misery is it?

Take care and be kind to yourself.

Our Lady

Thanks for the advice our lady.

I've got butterflies and bad feelings in my stomach now thinking of the dread that comes with the realisation you've gambled all your wage without paying bills and people what you owe and thinking of fresh new lies you'll have to tell. I'll be keeping that thought and feeling planted firmly in my mind and stomach when pay day approaches. I'm a smart girl with a lot of sense (gambling addiction aside) so I know if I just stop to think I can rationally talk myself out of it. I'm cocky and spoilt when I get paid I simply think oh sod it I know I said I'd give up but I'll put this £20 on and make £100 and just cash out. But then the one deposit spirals as we all know. So no getting my own way this payday. The angel on my should will shout louder than the devil I'll be d**n sure of it!

J xxx

Day 21. It's so nice to see the days rank up. It's giving me the good feels that I only used to get from winning on the slots. I definitely feel you need to come on this site every day or every other to keep motivated into quiting. A daily check to see in numbers the days I haven't gambled is liberating and such a nice achievement. As I say I haven't hit pay day yet so worrying I'm being over confident. I'm trying to stay alert and not let my guard down cos it'll take over on auto pilot. Willing Friday to come so I can start fighting this for real. Reading others stories about their families and other halfs disowning then or making life really hard for them after telling and I simply cannot go through that right now. I've finally gotten to a place where I am emotionally good and strong I can't go back into depression as I will if my partner leaves or my family gets angry or doesn't want to talk to me after telling. While I'm gamble free and feeling stable I will keep the confessions on the back burner. Wish me luck.

J xxx

Thank you for reading and commenting on my diary. Congrats on your journey to date x

ms Hi Katie no problem. Thanks for commenting back. Well done on 17 days and good luck for many more x