No more half hearted efforts

30 days. Sun is shining. Got a mountain of debts to start looking at tackling but gamble free and happy happy happy

Hi GJ.

Thank you for my post. Yes I will be "watching with interest", all the outfits at Ladies Day today - the good, the bad and the ugly! Ha ha.

You continue to remain happy - it's the best medicine ever.

Take care and have a lovely g.f weekend.

Our Lady

Day 33. Feeling a bit unhappy today. Nothing major no gambling or not gambling related sadness. Can't put my finger on it really. I'm gamble free but I'm thinking about debts and how I wish I had a clean slate and remorse and guilt for the money wasted. Just feeling a bit empty. No urges though the complete opposite just wish I'd felt this way before I had wasted all the money I have over the years. Never mind. Only better it can get if I maintain the gamble free lifestyle

J xx

Hey GirlJ - Reading through this made me smile, A whole month gamble free, thats fantastic! Really motivates me reading things like this, for me this is Day 1, I get paid in about 2 and a half weeks, Im so hoping I pay off some bills and dont gamble a penny! Massive well done, Happy for you, I hope your not feeling to unhappy today, and know stories like yours really help! Hope to be posting a month free myself sometime soon 🙂

Hi girlJ,
You're not on your own with these thoughts and feelings. I just wanted to drop by to say a month gamble free is a good achievement.
We have to take the low days with the high, they're par for the course. We've just got to remember, even our low days are never as bad as a day after losing to gambling. Those days are damaging to our health!
Stay gamble free, work through the low days, treat yourself to a leisurely bath or a chocolate bar, a cream cake, the list goes on. . . Look in the mirror and smile, feel proud because this time the reflection is of a person who is winning in the fight with gambling and you are getting stronger every day.
Yes, we got ourselves in this mess but we can get ourselves out of it. Stay strong, enjoy walking the path to a better life x

Hi G.J

It's quite natural and normal for you to be feeling like this. Many of us on here experience exactly the same so don't be too hard on yourself. Treats are a must and all the time you are clocking up extra g.f days, I think it is just as important to treat yourself with something nice (no matter how small)!

Day at a time and may your tomorrow be better.

Thinking of you.

Our Lady

Hi little miss lost. You're post gave my shivers then. Good shivers. As you're right. I can look in the mirror and be proud that I am dragging myself up from the rock bottom that I have been at. Im winning everyday that I can say I haven't gambled and that's what keeps me going. I had bad thoughts yesterday just general feeling down started off with no urges then let my thoughts wander and felt guilty for it. Didn't act on them but still dragged me down. Came on here, my saving grace are the comments you guys leave and I'm instantly top of the world again. I sit and allow myself to feel the thoughts I would be feeling if I had not paid bills gambled all my wages and I compare to how I feel now and that's what pushes me also. Keep fighting, we can dothis 🙂

J xxx

I think so too Our Lady.

Does anybody experience anxiety feelings even when they've been good? I'm 34 days gamble free and I've got a feeling at the pit of my stomach of worry. I guess that's gonna take a while to go away as I'm use to feeling this way from gambling, they can also be feelings of worry toward relapse even though I'm not thinking of gambling today. It's a new day I feel good and I'm proud of myself I shouldn't be too hard on myself, I always am. I read something somewhere that we shouldn't say or think things of ourselves that we wouldn't say to a friend. I loved that. Trying to take it on board 🙂

Much love, j xx

Day 35. Not much to report. Just checking in. Feeling neutral this morning. Exhausted mind and looking forward to a long weekend off work!

Day 36. Thinking of the life I could be living if for every time I deposited into a gambling site I had put it in a jar instead. Pointless thoughts as there's absolutely nothing that can be done about it. But sometimes our minds do what they want ey. Fleeting between positivity and sorrow for past behaviour these days. Not going to gamble though. It is not the solution so the thought can enter my head be considered if it is a solution to the problem, no it's not? Then let it go right back out. Good to have this place to vent and ramble. Fighting onwards. J xxx

Day 37. Almost at 40. Where did this time go? I remember day 15 feeling so chuffed. Yesterday was a bit tough. Only need to read one thing on here and a trigger will be set off and get me thinking crazy thoughts ...

Then I read another post that brought me back down to earth. I'm happy, I'm paying my bills, I'm not telling lies, I have money 14 days after pay Day!! And I'm happier to be around which is nice for my loved ones. I need this and I definitely don't need the other life. I feel content today. Will have a bubble bath, a cup of tea and read my book and relish in the fact I feel normal for an hour at least :). Happy Easter folks x

Hi G.J.

Lovely post! You enjoy that read and bubble bath. Feeling "normal" and g.f is the best. Still having money in our accounts 14 days after payday is even better! You keep tight hold of your money and do not forget to treat yourself with something soon.

Take care and have a wonderful g.f Easter.

Hi Girl J,
Thank you for your post on my diary. Happy Easter.... stay free x

Hi ladies. Hope you're enjoying Easter hols. Thank you for your posts 🙂

I can't believe I have so much money left and I get paid in two weeks if I carry on the way I have been I'll be going in to payday with money from my last pay. Absolutely unheard of!! Ha took your advice and treated myself to a very costly make up haul oops! I have been good and deserves an Easter great though so b****r it lol. Here's to staying happy and free 🙂

J xxx

So happy to hear that you have treated yourself J. Hope you continue to do so - it's important that we all do!

Have a wonderful Sunday and eat lots of chocolate!

Our Lady