No more half hearted efforts

Thanks our lady. Feeling happy for first time in a long time. This feeling is worth fighting for. Enjoy your choc! 😉 x

Look at you with money left - you're doing great!! Keep this up and your rewards will come thick and fast.
Make sure you've got blocks in place - just in case. Keep those pesky urges at bay!
No more beating yourself up - sit back, relax and enjoy the feeling.
Now then, have a think . . . what can you treat yourself to next month . . .!! All good wishes x

Hi lml! Thanks for your post! I can't believe it I get paid next week and I have money so I'm being sensible and using some of it to pay off and close one of my catologue accounts that has been in arrears. Throughout this addiction I have found it hard to be proud but you're right I should stop beating myself up and give credit where it's due cos for this month at least even if I slip a little in future I have done the best I can and I am loving the rewards. Hope you're well also 🙂 xxx

Weird 5 mins I just had then. Reading posts on here and read something about self exclusion. Thought to myself, I wonder if all the first sites I excluded from have lapsed? Not for me to use but remember clicking the longest option and wondered if it had been that long. Even went as far as typing in google. Thank god for blocks I was rudely awakened from my pointless day dream. Even with no intentions in the last ten minutes to gamble the innocent thought could've led to me automatically logging on to a site if it had worked and we all know how we become zombies from that point on. Silly girl this mind does wander, actually had heart palpitations and thought crikey what you doing girl?! I find some days I have really good days and come to post here about them, get side tracked from other people's posts and end up feeling worse. I've said before how things trigger me especially people talking about wins. Maybe I should leave myself have little breaks from here. I want to remain gamble free. Today marks 42 days and a slap on the wrist for attempting to google such rubbish. J xxx

Hi GirlJ,
I have been and to be honest I still am where you are with regards to reading about the wins.
Some of the ones you read about are amazing only problem is I wouldn't have the kind of money which is needed to gamble with to receive those types of wins.
I then tell myself these wins are absolutely few and far between.
I put it into context and think all the years I've been gambling sometimes putting £1000 in over a few days, i ask myself 'how many times have I won a significant amount?' answer = very very few! When I did win I put that and more back in over the next few days because that's what we do.
Now if I see posts talking about wins I try not to read them and I think if it was that easy these people would not be on this site seeking help. (No dis-respect intended)
No GirlJ, you're doing great - bills are getting paid, money left at the end of the month, mental health improving. That in my books means you are winning big style!! X

Hi LML thanks for taking the time to post. I'm glad you can empathise with me on this one. You're absolutely right no win unless it was 100 million would stop us pouring it all back into the site it came from so as the saying stands, we will never win as we cannot stop. But when we stop, we win. Thanks for the little booster and reminder I'm on a better path any couple of dingy spins would put me on. We are better and we are only human also to get these thoughts. But we keep on fighting. Thank you 🙂 xx

Hi GirlJ hope your ok? Thought I would just say hi as we are at a similar stage. Am still on a bit of a rollercoaster but feels great to have cash left in the bank as normally by this date every month am broke. ONWARDS and upwards, take care 🙂

Hi Sharon thanks for posting!

That's great news! I also find that is one of the more rewarding features of gambling abstinence. Just because it emphasises to me, how much better off I can be if I don't gamble. I gambled to fill whatever emptiness loneliness and Boredom was inside me and also to 'wing big' to pay off debts. But I never won big. And I've paid more debts off now without gambling, and still having money in my account afterward, than I would ever have if I continued with the madness.

You're right there, some days are very much a rollercoaster ride, but the relief when we get off the ride at the end of the day safe and sound on the ground with the knowing that we haven't gambled is worth it. Rather than being stuck on an upside down loop which is what the losses and regrets feel like!! Keep riding Sharon just remember solid ground and relief is always the best end result 🙂 j xxx

Hi, I know every morning now I wake up knowing that I don't have to dread thinking about how much I'very lost, which bill will I have to skip paying etc. I'very also realised that I have been bored and maybe lonely so am working on filling the void that gambling unfortunately filled. Hope yo6're having a top GF week, take care S xx

Yes you're right. Cliche but gambling is just trying to fill an empty void when we know the issues lie deeper. I always thought no I don't have any issues i gambled cos I wanted too then got addicted. But in all honesty I suffer majorly with self confidence and I think I was either gambling to prove I was good at something to boost my ego or to win money as I literally have a list of things I'd love to get cosmetically (nothing radical just non surgical). I have to learn to love myself and be a little easier all round. Hope you can find something more fulfilling than gambling to fill the space Sharon 🙂 have a lovely gf weekend xxx

Same, always thought I was pretty much 'what you see is what you get' and straight forward but not gambling has given we scope to have a proper think about how and why. Similar thoughts of being kind to yourselve and finding alternative things that make you happy are a real help on this journey. Ditto, take care GirlJ and enjoy another GF weekend S :)xx

Thanks Sharon you too 🙂 xxx

Day 48. Still at the beginning of a forever ongoing journey but reaping so many benefits. Paid in 3 days and I have money in my account I am astounded. Happy and tackling debts one at a time also. I hope this continues. I have actually had no thoughts not even a passing moment of it. Be strong all xx

Brilliant, strong is the key word here......must admit I have been stewing over everything these past few days but reading positive posts really helps. It's little steps isn't it? Have a great GF day, S x

Great post j
Plodding along steady but with firm footsteps. ..soooo glad you're reaping reward already...the debt will sort itself in time. ...well done you