quitforever

Hi quit well done on 21 days gf. You sound focussed at overcoming this addiction. It's good you have been able to tell your mum about it, I'm sure she will want what is best for you. My son is on day 41 gf. He too took out payday loans, got himself into a circle of working gambling payday loans. When I found out in November he was in denial, didn't have a problem! - he did!! After a patchy start, disagreements and me controlling his finances he is doing so much better. We control his finances together, I do get suspicious especially at atm cash withdrawals, but I know I have to learn to trust him little by little. Look into your payday loans, I got a refund of £879 last week for my son on the grounds of irresponsible borrowing. £250 loan and he had paid £1100 interest back at 3320 % also I got nearly £1200 knocked off another pay day loan which will now be paid off by May. I really could not believe it!! I don't condone what my son has done but know his head wasn't in the right place when he was gambling and I felt the payday loan company's didn't look into his history enough,that's why I claimed. Keep up your great work. Chat is a great place, great people. Wcid.

Thanks wcid, I hope your son continues to progress in this gf direction. He's doing really well and you should be proud for what you have achieved for him and what he has achieved for himself. I'm on day 22 now and I feel really strong about never going back ever again. Thank god I've come to this decision

Hello,

I have fewer congratulations, sorry. Gamble free days and fitness are all good, no dispute there, but you and your mother are in collusion against your father and that's not right, it threatens his relationship with both of you. He may well be angry but misleading him isn't going to make things better when he eventually finds out. And having your mother effectively lie to him or otherwise feeling pressure from you to do so isn't a recipe for her happiness.

Honesty is the best policy for real recovery if you do want to quit. Actions speak louder than words, start by putting blocks in place, self exclude, get counselling, go to GA, hand over financial control. Show both parents what you are doing to overcome the problem. Promises will mean nothing when the urge strikes and your time money location triangle is intact. Don't underestimate just how powerful addiction is.

Forever is a long time, make it manageable, stick to one day at a time and let each gf day make your forever.

Wish you well,

CW

Well done quit

Well done quit. I quite a sentence you wrote earlier;

"She took my hand and said no more now"

That sounds like a moment you should try and remember forever. If you feel like gambling ever again look back at that moment for a reason why you shouldn't.

Keep up the good work and the running. Apart from fitness running 10k must be great to focus your mind on. Well done.

CW my dad's an alcoholic...

Hi quit,

All of us are unique, and none on here really know the full story behind anyone elses addiction, so you've made a decision that you feel is right for you and your circumstances regarding telling your mum and not your dad, there's no shame in that, as I said, all of our circumstances are all very different, there's no 'one cure suits all'. Huge well done on you 24 days. You obviously don't want to let your folks down, or yourself more importantly. Slightly envious of your 10k run/walk, I only wish I could build up the engergy to do 1k let alone 10 lol!

Twinklyr

Hi, Quit,

Sorry to hear that, it doesn't help you. I take it that your father won't want to know to avoid his feeling bad, easier for him to get angry and cause a disraction from his problems? Possibly, though, some harsh reality may not be a bad thing for him long term?

My apologies for being overly critical, wish you well.

CW

Quit, as twinklyr rightly said we are all individual and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. If it's working for you at this moment and you are getting stronger then carry on as all the other things such as you telling your dad will fall into place when you're ready. You have your mum for support which is good so talk to her as much as you can.

You are doing really well. Keep strong and take each day at a time.

Quite agree Tilley
Recovery is about the individual...there family...only they know what's best for them
As long as things are in place to move on from the addiction I don't think there's right or wrong ways....who are we to judge
I wish you well quit....your doing great...do what works for you xx

Thanks so much for your kind messages, I'm thinking too that I'm doing really well. Day 26 now. I am so certain that I can quit and will quit forever.

Had another counselling session tonight went well got to keep up the good work and find hobbies to help me move on. So I've picked running and golf. Not too bad at them and they should be good for my health.

You are doing really well quit...good on you....only another ex gambler understands a gambler....so keep doing what your doing and those gamble free days will add up....have a good weekend x

On 40 days now it's great

Wow...well done to you happy 40th : ) x

Thanks Loxxie