Thanks ODAAT. I know exactly why my brother's running scared - he's a closet *** and we come from a family where all the male members are very macho fighter pilots so the poor man has always felt a total failure. But my mum - and other members of the family - don't want to acknowledge/talk about this any more than they want to talk about his addictions which (I believe) are his way of "coping" with having spent an entire lifetime pretending to be someone he's not. My dear dad, who died last year, was a Fleet Air Arm pilot who, whenever an item about homosexuality came on TV, used to pronounce: "Line them all up against the wall and shoot them I say!". God what a mess :'(
The only terms on which I can see my mum is if we just chit chat about the weather and ignore this impending disaster. And I just feel unable to do that. Whenever I see her I just want to scream at her for refusing to face the truth. She's allowing her son to die because she can't face up to the truth about his problems.
I'm not really expecting anyone to help me with this. But it's such a relief to talk to someone about it!
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