Hi,
I do not gamble, dont buy lottery tickets, scratch cards, I dont even feed the odd quid into a fruity after a few beers. I have absolutely no idea about what it is like to gamble, let alone to be addicted to it.
Which leads me to why I am here, my wife does, and I have absolutely no idea how to help her.
At the moment I am angry, furious, upset, and reading every article of how to help, what the steps to recovery are etc, but I cannot put things into perspective, I cannot see through my wifes eyes, all I can see is our boys birthday money for his presents and party gone, a holiday coming up we can no longer pay for, our house at risk if I cannot somehow find the money to cover what she owes, our life reduced to poverty after spending so many years scrimping and saving so when we had our boys came along they could have that chocolate bar when we were paying for the weekly shop, could have that video game if they had been good that month etc
I am in conflict with myself, I do not want to abadone my wife, but i also want her away from me and our boys (not literally, but back living with her parents) so no further damage can be done, but also so she doesn't have the stress of the house (her kicker for gambling apparently)
I can protect our assets, house etc, by getting her off the mortgage, and could even provide the fraud behaviour to get loans etc to try and protect me and the boys from an financial fallout, but she works in finance, it would destroy her career, current jobs, so I do not want to do it, but at the same time I do, if that makes sense.
I do not think I will ever understand why my wife, like yourselves, gambles, but the truth is I love my wife, and I need try and understand why. I am so angry I cannot talk to her about it, I have no reference point to even begin to understand from her perspective, so I am hoping you people on here can help me, help my wife, by helping me understand my wife... there is a film reference in there somewhere!
Hi gamblers hubby. It is beyond comprehension at first, totally shocking! But that doesn't help you cope. Lock down finances, make sure there is no more damage. Family expenses, mortgage, bills come first, her debt last. She needs to research how to get out of her debt herself. Find a gamanon meeting if there is one near you. Put yourself and your boys first. She needs to show you how she is putting blocks in place, handing over control of her money to you, getting help from gamcare counselling or a GA meeting. No half measures, 100% commitment to arresting the addiction. It is virtually impossible to stop by willpower alone. You can post in family and friends section where you may get more responses. Ask questions here.
Thank you very much for responding, I will pop over to the appropriate section.
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