I'm a gambler, there I said it.

Hi, last night was the straw that broke the camels back, and I've admitted to myself I'm a compulsive gambler - Blackjack, this year I've gone through 40k in savings of mine and my mums. My backstory is 18 months ago I was looking after my Dad who was dying from prostrate cancer and haven't dealt with all the emotions surrounding it - it took its toll but I started gambling slowly from his death onwards. I am my mums primary career too now, and she broke her femur from severe osteoporosis last august which accelerated my addiction. Additionally I have some severe mental health conditions I was diagnosed with schizophrenia 5 years ago and was sectioned twice before I went onto medication which has stabilised my condition. This is the first time I've reached out about gambling, it has put a terrible toll on me and my mother, last night I felt suicidal after losing 4K in less than 2 hours, although I'm not in debt it has dented the savings, so I googled gambling addiction and gave ended up here, I contacted suppport via online and they have reffered me to 121 councselling which is my next step. I have a community psychiatric nurse come to see me every 3 weeks and he doesn't know the extent of the gambling he is coming this Wednesday and I'm going to tell all to him. I've read some stories on the forums so thought I'd tell mine, thanks for reading.