Try to change your life

Hi Johnny

Great share ! Absolutely loved reading it

If you don't mind me asking, and not that it matters but it says 132 posts but then sounds like it's day one. How long GF are you ?

I've got to say, I gambled for 44 years and when I came into recovery I took all the advice to put the blocks on etc but then sat there thinking that's not going to sort me out for the rest of my life. I knew there was work to be done and thank work had no finishing line or quick fix.

One thing, I'm not sure people know is that GA isn't about abstinence. It's not overly about gambling. As you point out above, gambling is the poor solution to the problem. So I've spent a lot of time trying to work through my problems, character defects and purpose in life. Each day, like today, I woke up saying to myself there will only be one 27th March 2026 in history and once it's gone it's gone, so let's be the best version of myself giving service to myself and others 

Absolutely mate. What day I am on right now being abstinent from gambling you asked 

Here's the answer I am a day less of what I could be GF yesterday and one day less then tommorow so I live in present

I haven't dealt with my emotional issues fully yet and that was the reason why I always came back to gambling as a safety net. 

Hey Johnny, 

Thank you so much for sharing! As a peer support worker, meaning I've been through my own gambling recovery journey, I do agree that gambling holds a purpose for everybody in their own individual lives. 

For me, it was a distraction from experiencing poor mental health, yet it actually worsened my mental health. I think for most, gambling can provide a very short, superficial period of distraction from the issues that are deeply rooted that we often avoid confronting and working through. 

It is so important to work through things in life we have been through; this is important regardless, but even more so if it feels like it has led to an addiction.  

It sounds like you are making some positive steps, and I do wish you the best of luck! We are always here. I'd encourage you to keep sharing your story and the steps you're taking. Remember, recovery isn't linear, and there is always someone to talk to with us here! 

There is a song called "Start with yourself" by The Chordline, which is a lovely song about how if you want to make any change, you have to start with yourself. This sounds very similar to what you've wrote about in your post. 

Keep us updated on your progress! 

Take care Johnny, 

Brooke (Peer Support Worker)

Hi Johnny

Just checking in to see how you are getting on ? Good week ?

This post really helped me. I’m new and I know I gamble to take my mind off the stress of my situation. I gamble to stock market and convince myself I am working. I make money and then lose it all again as I get greedy. I do it to take my mind off past abuse and current abuse. I fantasize about the money I will make and how I think it it will make my kids happier as I used to gamble to try to make money for the family in the past and please my abusive and controlling ex husband. He made me trade. He beat me up when I lost money though.

I now still gamble as it’s the only thing I know to make large amounts of money back. I never do. I make it but lose it again. I know I can’t do it anymore. It’s driving me insane. I don’t work as I have CPTSD from the abuse but I think I am going to go and get a job anyway as I can’t go on like this. I need to distract myself in a job. The reason I find work hard is not the actual work itself but the people around it. I feel judged and self conscious and my anxiety is too much for me. I want to work and be normal though. 

my family have given up on me. They say I have to help myself and I know they are right, so that’s why I am here. 

Hi Sarah, 

First of all, welcome to the forum and thank you for being so open and honest about your experiences. I'm glad you have been able to reach out on our forum. We also run an 8-9pm chatroom every evening you can join.

I'm sure you will receive lots of insight from other forum members, but I want to reassure you our service is here for you and that you can contact on the helpline anytime - we are open 24/7 so an adviser is always here via helpline call, live chat or Whatsapp. 

We offer a range of support, including for 1to1 referrals - so please don't hesitate to get in touch if you haven't already. 

Your safety and wellbeing is really important to us - you've mentioned experiencing abuse in your post, please be aware there is lots of support for you - there is a helpline run by Refuge which can be reached on 0808 2000 247 anytime, so please do reach out.

It sounds like it's been a difficult time for you - there are other services that can support as well with your mental health, like your GP, or you can reach out to MIND for mental health support - https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/local-minds/

Best wishes,

Phoebe

Forum Admin

Hi Sarah

Are you able to get onto the lunch or evening chatrooms on here ? They are text only and I would like to talk if you can

@lp5vut869c I’m sorry not to have replied to this earlier. I got a call from a GamCare therapist andhave been having amazing help from them. But I do think I need to talk to others that has been through it. I went to GA many years ago and it was the only thing that worked for me but my abusive ex wouldn’t let me stop trading and now he tells everyone that I am a horrible gambler and financially abused him, when it was all my money and I felt I had no choice. It was gamble or be abused. He is also a gambler but used me to gamble by proxy. It’s so complicated. I now have no family to talk to as they just see me as the problem’ my ex is on trial next week for GBH but losing money seems to be a bigger deal to people than being beaten up. He beat me up because I lost £100k of my inheritance. I just need to talk to someone who understands gambling - particularly in an abusive setting too. My brain is messed up. I gamble to pay my bills now. He got me addicted and I can’t get out of it.

Hi Sarah

I'm so sorry to hear that. Is your therapist helping ? I would strongly suggest talking to the advisors on here and see if you can get some free addiction counselling for gambling ? I needed someone on the specific side.

In terms of GA, the support is there and its all about finding the right rooms. I've been to 10 different rooms in the south east. Only one didn't fit for me and I regularly go to three. The support is immense. The chatrooms here and logging on each day and posting is amazing. I write a daily topic under a film title which are in the recovery diaries which help me to remember all the different parts of my recovery and how it's got me to nearly six months after gambling every day for 44 years. If you want to talk more about some ideas that might help, just reply on this and let me know what troubles you about stopping