I have been here many times before the start of my recovery, so here we go again I hope this time it will last. I am a 34 year old man who loves sport almost as much as I like to bet on it, I would'nt say my gambling is finacially crippling but I sped far too much of my income on it and it has to stop this is Day 1and I have got through it without having a bet (not easily I might add).
Day 2 another hard day to be honest I have nothing but admiration for those that can go through days of abstaining without thinking gambling, I unfortunatly am always thinking about sports, odds etc and it is very hard to turn off thoughts of putting a bet on. During my 20 odd years betting I have had periods of non gambling the best of which came last year totalling 105 days before I had a "cheeky" bet (which went the way everyone thinks), the thing with it was even when I wasnt thinking betting in the day I would be dreaming about being in a betting shop to varying results! Anyway that has been my slightly depressing thought pattern today, Day 2 over and done and I have not gambled!
Tryinghard
Day 3 a much better day all round, a day off with the wife so no real time to think about gambling or what i might potentially bet on. Have recently got back into running and bought a treadmill (as I am not into rain or cold) so put 5k in today and feeling a lot better for it.
Know next week is going to be a very hard week as I had already booked a holiday from work for the festival and am still going to have this time off while not betting, anyway day 3 in the books no gambling!
Day 4 another day off and not too much going on, a day more of conteplation as much as anything else I was thinking to myself about the rugby tomorrow and without much thought I had priced up in my head what I thought the odds would be and was very close to looking at an odds checker to see how close I was, that has become almost second nature and I had to stop myself at that point. So the coteplation was will I be able to enjoy sport to the same extent? Will I like as many sports as I seem to do now? Or will sport become a victim I have to cut from my life due to this disease?.
On a positive note I took the first steps to talking to my wife about instulating myself from gambling situations, now we have been together a long time and she knows that I have gambled in the past and at the current time she thinks I have it under control. I would like that to be the case but still feel ashamed that I cannot be a controlled person about this and so if I have to break this facade I would like to do it from a position of abstinence for a sustained period, I am no massivly in debt as my addiction although a spiralling one is retrivable probably in 4-5 months at which point I will come clean with a clean slate. Okay this has been a longer post than I was expecting many thanks for those who are reading Day 4 done
Trying hard
Day 5 been a long day at work, full of stress and I know that one of my triggers is stress at work that leads me to thinks about betting. But I have not had a bet today and this knowledge of me indentifying triggers has left me feeliing strong about this commitment I have made to myself and although it is only day 5 I am starting to feel positive.
Not really much else to add am quite tired at the moment and dreamt about gambling last night is this normal for a CG as I only seem to dream about gambling when not gambling.
Anyway day 5 in the books will not be coming on here for day 6 as am working crazy long hours tomorrow will be back for day 7 sunday
Tryinghard
Hi tryinghard.
You sound like you are in a similar position to me. Sports betting was my thing, and although I haven't got into any massive debt (£100 overdrawn) because of it, I was spending all my free cash on betting and knew it had to stop. I had also starring betting on really random stuff like inplay basketball.
It must be promising to know you can give up, seeing as you gave up for quite a while before? What allowed you to bet again? Was there a block that wasn't in place or that failed?
I'm only 27 days GF, but I certainly think about it less now than those first 2 weeks. Hardly crosses my mind during the week even when I watch the football. It's just the weekend that's a bit more difficult. Part of me still doesn't believe I will never bet again. Would be great to be in a position when I can just stick to the £5 weekend Acca, but as CG I don't think we can ever stop.
Anyway well done on the 5 days so far mate, and best of luck.
RA
A good start made. I was the same as you will I enjoy the sports but in fairness I do and it doesn't have that sting in the tail when the bet loses. I do miss the high I got when it wins but that was only ever short lived as the next loser was round the corner.
Here comes the serious stuff all well intentioned
I would have to say get the blocks in place if you bet online SE and try and block access wether that's blocking software or restricting your internet service with your provider. You won't have the option of checking odds checker but who cares if your not betting.
If the bookies are your vice SE you can go in to do this it they is a number you can call (0800 294 2060) they will do a bulk block in certain areas for you.
I see you want to get straight before telling your wife. It's your call but she can help you by taking control of you finances and keep a eye on you as well support you. I never did she found out and I was out night of been different if I had manned up.
Keep posting keep reading and consider calling Gamcare for some one to one counselling or GA might be a option for you talking it though with likeminded people helps me.
Your name is trying harder the above things are a hard step to make but makes it easier to fight this fight.
A busy day tomorrow so that will help. I wish you all the best
KTF
thanks for the comments guys much appreciated, yes the long period of abstinence is a help when trying to beat this but there was mitgating circumstances I was getting married and these things cost once I was paid up and level with the bank etc I decided to "relax a little" bad mistake.
But on the flip side I actually feel quite lucky reading the forum as my addction does not seem as financially crippling as others but at present I have self excluded from all my online accounts and bookies is not a major risk as I live rurally and we dont have many near by not really my bag anyway as they always stiffed you on price v online! Anyway thanks again for feedback feeling strong!
right day 6 and 7 in the books, yesterday no problem 16 hours in work manic and had no time too think about anything other than what was in front, today different story had the monkey on my back all day today thinking about sporting events coming up how i am not betting on them and my brain trying to rationalise me being able to bet.
Feel this has a lot to do with tiredness and the fact that I am struggling a bit to come terms with the word "never", I know that part of me starting my recovery at this point was because next week is an event that I have had a bet on since I was 14 and I feel that if I can get through the next few days it will be a massive boost that if I didnt need to bet at cheltnham I cant think of another event that would be more attractive (I know there will aleays be an event but it was my starting point).
Ok that is me caught up actually thought about coming on here last night when got in from work at 1am to write something but thought bettter of it must have an addictive personality! Day 7 gamble free
Day 8 done and dusted a pretty smooth day today few thoughts about the festival upcoming, everyone talking about it in work and a bit dissapointed Im not going anymore but know in the longrun it is for the best.
Not really much else to report had pre booked a few days off for the festival so will be having a few days off whether that is a good idea or not.
Day 8 and I have not gambled
day 9 wow I came very close to caving today. Cheltenham has been a part of my life as long as i have gambled, I remember pulling a sicky at school when i was 15 to get home in time to see istabraq win the champion hurdle I had £20 on to win £10 at the time a significant amount and there has not been a day of the festival since where i have not had at least one bet. today was the first day!
I went out and played golf this morning thought about betting and cheltenham the whole time,came home and had a 5k run must admit I was a sweaty mess and did not think about betting much then came the fork in the road moment I could go to the bank get money out of my account sneak off somewhere, i actually got in the car but stopped and went back inside and took the correct path, I did watch the racing for what is going to have to be for me a sporting event to view and not be involved in.
Anyway feeling a lot better now and reinvigarated I knew that this week was going to be a test but if I can come through everything else will be a lot easier, day 9 no gambling!
Well done bud it's a tricky time make sure you have a plan in place tomorrow and it will be a guarantee of another winning day.
Day 10 (half way through the festival) much better day today watched the racing no real thoughts of gambling just enjoyed the specticle, helped that it was a great day for the armchair spectator.
The strange thing is that during my time betting I have made a lot of friends who like to bet and have not had the courage to tell them I have stopped betting or why, I am genuinly ashamed of my compulsion so when they talk to me about the festival I will throw up what I am "backing" or would have previously and it is strange I am telling my friends and work colleagues I am betting and my wife I am not at leat I am being honest with her.
Looking forward not back day 10 done and dusted I have not gambled
Day 11 not quite the day I expected but not to much thought given to gambling either, spent most of the day at the dentists with a crack in my tooth had a good portion removed and did not get to see much of the days sporting events till I got home. Day 11 done no gambling!
Doing an early post today day 12, feeling really good to be honest I am now sure I will get through the whole week of cheltenham without a bet and think this will hold me in really good stead in the upcoming months. There are only a few events a year that grab my gambling attention like the festival and so it will be a good comparison if I am tempted by some lesser sporting occasion.
On another note I was blocked on the above post for using the word cr*ck while describing my tooth (I assume for other forms of addiction?). Anyhow a couple of days ago I spoke about how i was telling my friends one thing about my betting at the festival and my wife another (the truth), what do you know my wife met one of my friends out and he told her I might be in a bad mood because my tips were not running well. So my wife confronts me about it and we have probably the best discussion about my problem we have had, about the emmbarrasment and shame of being a cg and how there are going to be friends and aquantiances I am not going to be able to tell as the whole truth reflects badly on me. My wife will be a support in this and when I am in a better place I will tell her and probably go the whole hog and attend meetings as well (my nearest meting is 60 odd miles away so would need an explanation).
Anyway confident that day 12 will be a success no gambling for me!!
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