Stopping

Hello LmL...

There's not really anything I can say what you haven't heard before. But hai, I can extend my hand and offer support.

I'm not a complete advocaat of the broken triangle but appreciate that it is a vital tool in the early days.

I tend to think that a more appropriate triangle to break and thats- lonliness - too much time in ones head - beating ourselves up. We're social creatures with isolation a enemy coming under the disguise of addictions.

You know it's only you who can halt this landslide you've found yourself in and by at least trying to connect regularly to this site Is a start whilst you ponder the other tools required needed to challenge the addictive urges.

It's an odd concept, but you do need to do it by your self, yet you can't do it alone. It's, I guess finding the people who have walked in your shoes and the only 3d outlet I can think off is GA.

Give yourself a break and find a way to give up the ghost of addictions and what's lost.

I wish you well

Morning Paul,

Thsnks for your post and please don't apologise, my support will always be here for you xx

I do understand exactly about worrying about not having enough money , but my dear friend to continue gambling will inevitably leave you with no money at all and heavily in debt.You will be in a much worse situation,

This addiction is thriving on your negative outlook with money, you really have to break this negative cycle, that money is going to come back, it's gone, you do have to try and accept this, and then you will be able to move on.

I totally agree with Volcanos post to you, only you can do this this,and you can, you just have to close that door for once and all.

Believe me Paul, the relief I felt once I let it all go, and accept my debt was the first incentive and motivation to move away from this madness. It's nothing but a self harming self destructive way of life, you wouldn't keep hurting yourself physically with the same wound/scar, so why do it mentally and emotionally with this addiction wound/scar,

Let it go,let it start to slowly heal, you will never make any money through gambling because you are a CG, and as you know no matter how big the win, it's only lent to you, because you can't stop, once you start.

This addiction tells us it's about the money, but it's not Paul, that's the ridiculous paradox about it, this addiction is about controlling and taking over our every day life every hour, minute of our thoughts, that's it's goal, and ofcourse to self destruct us totally and then take more.

Maybe a GA meeting will help you, but it's your call my friend, if you would like my email address I am happy to chat outside of the forum, No pressure and your call again xx

.Its not easy to just stop and it's not easy to stay stopped, but we have no alternative in the end,

You have no debt, (yet) take this as a big positive along with trying to finally let your losss go.

You are worth sooo much more than this circle of gambling.

Time to now stop punishing yourself, life is too short and we have enough stuff to deal with outside of our choice, but to stop gambling is a choice we can make.

Supporting you as always

Suzanne xxx

Evening Paul,

Listen friend, I know you had a drinkie lol, when you posted to me but netherless you were feeling low and calling out,

My support stands, walking along side with you as always, unconditionally,

Hope you are pushing through ok, keep posting and venting if it helps.

Take care and keep safe.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks for your message Paul, I am fine thanks,

Good idea on thinking of changing your life style, because nothing does change if nothing changes:))

Take care, catch you later.

Suzanne xxx

I have to try this diary option, normally i would be off to the bookies at lunctime for a quick spin and a warm shop, amazing how much it can cost you to keep warm for 40 minutes. To-day i have stayed in at work, read some threads on here, can't say i feel any better, for not gambling, but i have been hiding behind it. I'm not really happy with my existence and haven't been for a long time. So it's time to face up to your issues - Paul, no more gambling, cut down on the booze, and re-assess your life or what is left of it. That's enough for to-day, my head still is spinning from last two weeks losses. Be back later or tomorrow.

Good on you.

I think these diarys are good to download what's in our heads. Whether it's relevant or not. A distraction from feeding the internal demon.

Hi LML , right choice today buddy , it's not easy letting go of all the gambling c**P and trying to move forward but you really do have to deal with it little chunks and get through the first few weeks until it begins to get easier and rest assured it will my friend , at the moment your missing the buzz f the play and the comfort of an environment your used to being in ! I was the same at the start , popping in the bookies for a couple of hours a day just because it felt part of my life , a routine and strangely comforting . But now I've been gamble free for 6 months I really don't miss it at all and manage to find other things to do instead of going back in ! Stick with it bud and ride out the storm , you'll get to a safe harbour pretty soon ! Best wishes. .....Alan.

Good to see your post today Paul, even the tiniest of changes in our lifestyle taking one day at a time, really does make a positive difference:))

Gently walk the walk, forwards and don't look back at this time.

Take it easy and be kind to you for a change, xx

Suzanne xxx

Evening Paul , I'm really humbled mate, so thank you so much for your kind comments , I know how raw we all are when we get here after another kick in the wotsits from gambling and for me 6 months ago it was the worst feeling in the world and I really felt that pain from your post today .Back then when someone spoke to me It just simply felt like a wieght lifted from me and just knowing I wasnt alone with my problem and thats why this place is so great , you talk , you rant, express yourself and talk to other CG's in a way that only we understand and thats what helps us all get through it one day at a time .

You'll c.r.ack it mate I'm sure , you just need to plod along steadily for a few weeks and get some distance between you and the last bet .

I'm always about but work some really strange hours so if you want to chat I'll pick up on it but sometimes it may take a while to get back to you .

Stay positive and focused on what you want and thats what you'll achieve !

Have a great day Paul and catch up with you soon !

Best wishes Al

Hi all, to anyone who reads this I hope you had a gamble free day. I did, but I am not happy or proud I did not gamble, i just feel empty, my chest hurts hard, my head is all over the place, the future financial situation is not ideal, but I am starting to deal with the effects of my huge losses over the year's and I don't like how I feel. I am in pain - mental pain and anguish, but I am reasonably mentally strong about the effects, and being on here reading hour by hour helps a little. I am going to succeed this time, with the help of the many postings on here - catch you all tomorrow. - Paul

Paul , hi mate all those feelings you mention , I felt as well , sometimes my chest was pounding and I felt like I couldn't catch a breath all you can think about is gambling, what its done to you , can I get my money back , just one more shot , I went through it all buddy !.

Just give it some time and those painfull feelings and memories will ease and begin to fade away , seriously it does get much easier and better to fight the urges you may get .

Everythings to new at the moment and you feel like youv'e lost an old friend but really mate you don't need friends like that in your life !

Take it one day at a time , just little steps !

Always about for support buddy .

Respect ...............................ALAN

Keep pushing through these feelings, they will disappear as your gamble free days mount up, the pain will ease a little every day.

Keep strong and stay focused Paul, you deserve this to be your time now my friend.

Walking along side with you,

Suzanne xxx

I have been reading a lot on here, some great posts; For me I am in the grieving part of quitting gambling - The money has gone I am beginning to accept that, my depression brought on by the many losses remains; I am committed to posting on this diary, although no-one hugs you or tells you face to face it will be O.K.(the silent addication hey), the advice is second to none. A day at at a time hey, thanks everyone for what you post on this site, it is good stuff. Away for a few days now, to a relation's some fresh air and exercise, try to sort my head out. Catch you soon. - Paul

Hope you enjoy you time awal LML.....i am no expert but what i do know is that over time it gets easier, as long as you are not continuing to gamble. I feel i have wasted such a large part of my life due to gambling that I will never get back but what good is it doing me worrying about that...none i guess would be the answer but still the thoughts pop into my head.

Hope you come back feeling nice and refreshed and ready to battle this evil addiction. Enjoy.