Day 3 and feeling ok! I just know if I beat these demons I will have a good life with a fantastic wife and family behind me. Failure is no option, I have been throwing money away for 20 plus years now, now it's time to stop! I reckon say 3 years without betting and my finances will start to get back to normal after paying family and others off!:-)
The start of day 4. I am feeling better, I know it will be a long road but I can see light at the end of the 20 mile tunnel. Keep very strong.
Nearly at the end of day 5 and I love my wife and family so much! I am feeling so positive right now! I will keep the demons away and get my life back after all these years. I have 2 niece's and 4 nephews who I love so much. They will from now have my time and not the bookie.
Day 6 and have got butterflys in my stomach, I don't know why? Keeping focused and staying strong. I will arrest this illness and get my life back. I will post each day on here that I have not had a bet. I will not tell lies and if I do not post it would mean that I have had a horrible bet!
This I cannot let happen.
It's really strange because I would look at racing results and 49s results every day even if I had not had a bet! So sad but very true. I am not doing this anymore either and I am so pleased.
Just been for a good walk with my wife and best friend! Had a real could talk and at the end of day 6 I know I have a battle on my hands but I am going to WIN!
Day 7 and I have not thought about betting! God that makes me feel good. As I have said before I just want to live a normal happy family life, this is my reward when I reach my goal. What better incentive.
Just been reading through your diary thread, and I've found it inspirational. I can see hope is not all lost for me!
Thank you and I wish you all the best x
Thank you so much. I hope your win your battle and stay strong. The next few days are going to define my future.
Day 8 and the thought of betting now turns my stomach! What a fool I have been over the years. Not only a compulsive gambler but once your one of these then as you will know you become a compulsive liar!
These experiences I am going to put behind me and as the day's, months and years pass I will have my life back and family will have there husband, son, uncle, nephew, brother in law back. Now that sounds brilliant.
Day 9 and have no urge to bet! Knowing the damage I have done and put my family through will get me through this. It is only early days but I am positive. I am seeing the doctor and a councillor tomorrow as well as my GA Meeting in the evening.
Last night I laid all my cards on the table to my wife and family and they are going to back me one last time. This time I cannot and will not fail. I am not a bad person and want my own life back too....
Day 10 amazing! No urge to gamble and seeking more help today. When the odd voice sounds in my head I think of Thursday 3rd July jumping into my friends car and off we go fishing for 4 days, this will only feel right if I am gamble free and not owing friends money! This I will achieve and the feeling will be great. Last year I gambled all my fishing trip money the night before and then lied to my friend saying I had left my wallet on the side in the house. He ended up drawing £200 out for me.NOT THIS TIME
Back from my meeting with a therapy coach! I really think I have taken away vital prompts to help me beat any triggers to gamble I may have. Thank you so much Wayne. I will stick to my plan and not end up in that Dark place again.
Day 11. GA meeting went well last night and I am feeling good. Onwards and upwards and before I know it I will be one month gamble free!!!
That's great jaym - so glad you are feeling good and that things are going well for you.
You can do it!
Joanna
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