Day 36. Just back from the gym. Feeling good today.
Day 37. No urges and feel ok. At work until 10pm so keeping busy...
Good for you mate. Been reading your diaries from the start and just wanted to say well done. Day 4 for me and i'm determined to beat this horrible life consuming disease. Been a slave to gambling for 30 years and don't want to lose one more single day to it. Looking back the guilt and self loathing we all feel is one of the things that keeps us stuck in the rut. A total vicious cycle. Glad to see you're breaking it.
Thank you so much dgr.
It is so difficult but once you accept you cannot win because we cannot stop I think then you have to reset your mind and way of thinking!! When I look back I thought about gambling probably 20 times a minute, now that's bad and sad. I have my GA Meeting tonight in which my wife goes with me to, I have to say I will be going here for the rest of my life. Day 38.
All the best in your recovery mate
Day 39. No urges and really enjoyed my GA Meeting last night. Some really inspiring therapys.
Day 40. Never done this long before. My GA meetings have been really good....
Day 41. Feeling strange at the moment, not sure why?? I have no money as my wife has taken over control proper, should or done that years ago, better late than never as they say. Keep strong everyone, a new and much better life is out there, I intend to grab it with both hands....
Day 42 onwards and upwards keep strong......
Have read all your diary posts and you are doing brilliant. Glad the gym diversion is working out - Keeping busy and physically active is working for you.
I read about your pangs of guilt on what has gone on before - but you knew that - going over it serves you no useful purpose, so concentrate your thoughts on the here and now, and the better future ahead of you as you stay loyal to the 'new you'.
Day 45. Thanks coachw. This is what I will do. Focus in the here and now and what my life will be like without the horrible addition! My wife has been truly amazing in this and is really keeping me on track. I am determined to get myself back to who I was before this tried to take over my life. I will stay strong and focus on the future. The paper clip has been good for me too. Thank you
Read all your posts. I sincerely know how hard it can be to try and get no where and then somewhere. Good effort in believing in something and getting something out of it. I can relate to the powerful mind games this illness can play on you. Your post helped me for today as im back to GA after a long time of not going
Thanks got2again
Day 47 without betting I will have my total life, family, friends back! This has had a grip on me for so long and I truly did not realise how ill I was! Keep strong and do not give in....
Day 48. Really enjoying not throwing money away!! What a mugs game it is!!
Day 49. At work now for 29 hours so busy busy busy! Staying strong and positive. I know if I beat this eventually my wife and I will have money and be able to live the life we want. Its going to be 3 years until I get straight but I know time will pass and each day a gamble free day, no stress, guilt, feeling worthless it goes on and on!!
Day 50! Still at work but had some terrible urges last night to gamble. It was not nice, I had to force myself to sleep, I feel like I have done 12 rounds with Tyson this morning! I am physically drained. If anyone out there has been through this please leave me some advice because I am sure I will go through this again and again during my recovery. For today I will not gamble....
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