Today I have had horrible thoughts of gambling and worse, I feel being at work has saved me. Had I not been at work who knows! These demons are egging me on to have a bet and do the wrong things, I am taking over as the ce and will not listen to this destructive voice!
I am much better than a person who spends hours of their time in a false world were you think you will always have money to lose, win or lose you are not really bothered! It's just the worse pass time ever, bookies are for loosers and the people in their day in day out I really feel for u. Gamblers never win and winners never gamble!
Hi jaym
I have had the same thoughts as you since I woke up and today was my day off triangle was out of the window because I had all three today but thanks to coming on here on and off most of the day and fighting with my conscience doing one hour at a time I have survived today I wish I knew where these thoughts come from but we have to be aware of this 24 7 you have done well to fight it today you are not on your own with these thoughts Keep strong and think can't play today do not want to lose money today
I have won today because I have not gambled and so have you let's keep strong and safe
Best wishes Suzannexx
Day 51. Thanks for your post, it means alot. Today I feel physicaly drained. I am keeping as strong as possible and trying to think of good things. The mind is so powerfully persuading and in the past it has had me in a trance for hours on end, loosing thousands and then feeling sick, worthless etc!! The next day as the thinking goes, it's ok I will win it back today and more, how false and unreal can it be yet I couldn't wait to start gambling again. So sad. I will never go back there again, I simply could not cope. Staying strong and keeping active.
Hi jaym
Well done on day 51 I got through yesterday been at work all day and I feel physically and mentally drained too was a tough day yesterday
I used to think like that hey What I have lost today I will get back tomorrow andI could not wait to get home and play
My tomorrow's run out
Keep strong because it can grab you whether you are on a high or low basically anytime
Don't wAnt to play today know the score
Suzanne xx
Day 52. Ga meeting tonight, can't wait as I really do enjoy them, I take away something everytime I go! Thanks again for your post Suzanne, stay strong and take it 1 day at a time. Feeling good at the moment but I know my barrier needs to be up all the time....
Just would like to thank coachw for the amazing help and advice and different ways I can overcome my thought and mind games! Just back from my GA Meeting tonight and took plenty away from this. Staying strong and positive!!
Day 53. In work later. Feeling good after the gym with my wife. Keeping my mind in check and the demons at bay....
Do not want to go back to the days of gambling out of control all the lies etc! It's no way to live and no life. I really will beat this illness and I can't wait to go anywhere with my head held high.
Day 54. At a family christening today then a 21st tonight. Looking forward to a good day with family and friends!
Day 55. Spending a full day with my lovely wife. No urges or voices in my head telling me to have a bet! I dnot want one and don't need one!
Staying strong everyone, let's kick this habbit for good....
Hi jaym,
Well done on your continued abstinence, 55 days is really something to achieve. Keep making the right choice, you and your family are worth that peace, freedom and happiness.
Onwards you go! Keep it up
Sandra x
Day 56 and starting Work soon. Feeling good and only thinking one day at a time. I am learning to forget the losses and I an looking forward to the future! Already I am spending more time with my wife and family.
Day 57. Just the thought of having a bet turns my stomach! Those bookies have had there lot from me. No more, I will get stronger on my recovery and get back to the person I once was.
Day 58. Had the chance to come clean with my wife and family 2 months ago and didn't!! Why? Because I thought I could make a claim on house insurance for 2k and this would pay off 2 more people who I really need to sort if you know where I am coming from. Well insurance would not pay out due to not having any no receipts to back it up so today I have told my mum I still owe 1900 out! Not told my wife yet, this will be tomorrow when I get home from work, really hope she ddoes not throw me out?!?! My mum has said she will sort it as long as I tell my wife and that she also supports my mum n Dad bailing me out again. God I wish I came out with all when I had the chance, it would of been so much easier on all involved!
Any help or advice will be really grateful! Plus side I am on day 58 without a bet.
Wide awake and can't sleep at the mo! Thinking about having to tell my wife there is more debt, really wish I would of come clean when I had the chance, I am such a fool. I do know one thing, this illness will not beat me. I will show my wife and family that I dont and won't gamble, I know this because they will see a huge change in my personality etc.
Fingers crossed for tomorrow!!! I bloody hate putting the people I love through this /////.
Day 59 525am wide awake and in tears! Feel anxious, nervous down sad worthless, you know the feelings! Dreading telling my wife later, really do hope all will Work out and if they don't I only have myself to blame. On a positive note I do feel like I am getting better and arresting this terrible illness!
Preying for a normal life and to get back to sleep...zzzzzz
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