Day 350
I was in the bookmakers looking at Cheltenham horse racing form. No gambling, no money and I didnt consider placing a bet on any horses. I did pick a greyhound and watched a live race for the first time in a while. No money on.
The reason I am on day 350 around Cheltenham time is no doubt due to a cashflow disaster around this time last year. I dont feel I have recovered from gambling even though the day counter is steadily increasing. I am too close to my year target to stop. I will find things more difficult around Aintree.
Day 350 is a bit of a milestone. I should probably reward myself with a decent treat. I think I will consider a better treat for reaching the whole year mark. If I reach 1 year, next fews days will still be tempting.
Sorry to say this mate but planning to fail is taking you in the right direction & only you can turn it round!
Barely a week ago you were testing your online blocks & now you’re in a bookies?!? No point trying to justify how you kept safe, there is absolutely no reason for a compulsive gambler to set foot inside somewhere like that! Adverts on the telly are just that...You don’t go out & buy sanitary towels just because they’re on special offer, or have hundreds of cars on your drive!
The temptation may never go away but you have the choice whether or not you act on it. Get yourself excluded from anywhere that you can get to & stop worrying about your tomorrows, today is what matters & you can stay gamble free for 24 hours, you know you can - ODAAT
Congratulations on 350 days gamble free.
You are not the degenerate gambler you considered yourself to be in the past, you are a man who has successfully battled gambling addiction for almost a year.
Now is the time to celebrate your excellent progress.
You like visiting the gym where you can work out. That is a best place to break into a sweat and it makes you feel good all over.
The sweat of a compulsive gambler in action is different, it is caused by fear, shame and hopelessness and is most unpleasant.
Is it wise to visit bookies or gambling websites? At best it is like someone looking in a shop window at something they can't have. The worse scenario doesn't even bear thinking about.
You are here on the diaries amongst your friends. We are all willing you forward. You have what it takes, you have the wisdom, strength and courage to carry on your gamble free journey...stephen
@ODAAT I dont think I will be ready to exclude myself from bookmakers anytime in the near future. I guess things will need to get worst before that happens. I am excluded online and looks like I cannot undo the exclusion.
@Stephen Not ready to celebrate 350 days yet. I feel the urge to gamble due to Cheltenham being on. Thanks for your positivity. I hope I can stay out the bookmakers for a few more days and things should get easier.
Day 351
No watching racing today. No wandering in bookmakers to look at form.
Day 352
I did get round to selling quite a few items on eBay and Gumtree. I need to list a few more items this weekend. A bit frustrated with the a number of people cancelling when they are due to pickup items. Cashed in the spare change I have been collecting in a big plastic Coca Cola bottle too. I have accumulated quite a bit of cash for my new Savings account.
I have a few memories of horses winning in unlikely circumstances for me when I had quite a wedge of money on them. One of them is running in the Gold Cup at Cheltenham tomorrow. The horse is not a great price, I will not have a bet even if I do get tempted. I will keep busy. I think my Flu symptoms are over and its time to get back in the gym regularly.
Day 353
The horse I wanted to lump on in the Gold Cup was cruising along near the end of the race. Just as I thought of all the winnings I was missing out on it managed to throwaway the race. Oh I would have been in a bit of dispair had I backed that one after being gamble free all this time. I now have a few memories of what usually happens when I get in that kind of mess. Cheltenham is now over, hooray. 🙂
You would have been in dispair if you had bet and won anyway. You think that would be your last ever bet had you placed it? You won by not betting again, as you have 352 other days in a row. Look after yourself, you're worth more than a bet.
Have a good weekend. =)
Day 359
About this time last year I was made redundant and now I might be looking at possible redundancy again. A bit annoyed I seem to have been hired to do a specific contract which was always going to end last month so they should have hired a contracter and not a permanant member of staff. Only been at this company 10 months so there will be no redundancy package. Meh.
Feeling a bit low but not as bad as last week when Cheltenham was on.
Day 361
Twisted part of me wanted to have a bet today. I know I will not be cured when I reach a whole year gamble free but I dont know what my motivation to abstain will be like when I reach my target. Once I get a year, I am going to stop counting the days. I hope I dont feel less motivated when I dont have a target anymore.
Day 364
A little underwhelmed. About a year ago I would have been very negative about chances of going a year without gambling and I would have thought I would have been happier about actually achieving the milestone of 1 year gamble free. I think its cos I dont feel committed to going 2 years gamble free and with Aintree coming up I know I will have the chance of contributing to a sweapstake and I will be very tempted. Also, I have been giving myself rewards for reaching certain marks and I cannot think of anything to buy for reaching 1 year mark. I think cos I feel guilty of prospect of having a bet one day.
I feel different reading your posts than I do anyone else’s degenerate. Please be careful.
One year without gambling is an amazing achievement but maybe you should start to look at your options again as it seems your mind is dragging you back in, maybe book to see a councilor?
@samba After a year, I want a cure but thats not going to happen. I am always going to be a gambling addict and I am always going to have that sickly feeling when I think of gambling. I have tried counselling in the past. I have been on this site for a while I have read through it extensively. I know what advice I will get and I know what I SHOULD do. I just need to accept I will always be like this. Meh.
A whole year
Great, I managed a whole year without gambling.
I am cured... not really. Not at all.
Feels like Day 1. I want to have a bet. I will try stay strong as I might be paying for a holiday soon. Holiday will be my 1 year reward. No money and no holiday will be the reward if i have a bet.
Congratulations on your gamble free year.
It is heartbreaking to read that the compulsion to gamble is still with you. I really don't know what to say except well done on not giving in to the urges.
Hopefully, by staying on the gamble free road, you will one day be totally free from the insidious influence of gambling addiction...stephen
Well done on reaching 1 year gamble free, a great achievement .... good also to have a goal or something to aim towards like a holiday, keep fighting those urges which i know can be so difficult sometimes but you have done it for 1 year now so you know it can be done ... wishing you well in your continued recovery.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
