Setting Myself Free

Hi Tony, so far so good, stay focused, I'm keeping myself as busy as I can, so much so that I'm asleep by half 9 lol, anything to stay gf, all the best mate Jack

Thanks Jack, top bloke.

Congratulations on 15 days mate! Let’s push on and leave this all behind us for good, I think I’ll die of embarrassment if I do it to myself again. I still get urges and that’s the infuriating thing, how are you feeling in general?

Also going to leave a quick note to myself to look into GA meetings, I used to turn my nose up at the idea but I’m slowly releasing myself from the *** of denial.

I did GA for 2 years and didn’t gamble during this period . It does work and I don’t think this website was around at the time . Doing them in tandem can only be a good thing for you don’t you think ? I’d put this website down as distance learning and GA can be your classroom

Yeah the reason why I need to dealve deeper is because I can’t grow content. There’s still a part of me that wants to gamble although I’m fully aware the consequences will be dire if I do. I don’t fully understand why I still get occasional urges to step back into the minefield and have done so in the past. I used to be sweaty mess when on one of my infamous gambling binges. An unhygienic reclusive degenerate is exactly what I became. There’s no it dressing up, I was a mess and my life currently reflects that in every facet. It is improving gradually through abstinence and I’m taking time to appreciate this, I no longer want instant results, I desire steady progression. Even if there is period where I flatline and don’t do much that’s okay as long as I remove the sharp downward jags where I crash and burn, all a result of gambling. I use to go days without engaging with another human being. Lost in a world of statistics, ups, downs, ifs and maybes. You can ultimately only control what you can control. I know that I can’t control myself whatsoever when I enter a gambling environment. I’ve only ever entered an online one but that’s put me of meddling in with any other form for at least the time being, hopefully that’s not a fading feeling and I have a hunch it won’t be for now.

Flatlining is good . Long term knowing why we gamble may be important but the most important thing is to simply not be doing it . You will get urges , it’s normal as you are human . The urges do get less and less in a short period of time providing as I said before you work on yourself . Did you have any hobbies apart from gambling ?perhaps it’s time now to rediscover something you enjoyed but gambling over took it . You need to enjoy the benefits of not gambling not only financially but I guess you can say spiritually as well ( not in the religious sense but more your mental well being )

Yeah you’ve hit the nail on the head. This is about gaining control of my entire life and learning to love & forgive myself.

Of course that won’t be obtainable if I gamble again. I’ve already mentioned in this thread how gambling has prevented any kind of personal progression for me. I need to progress that’s why I’m here and why I set that word as my very own username.

hi progress

you seem to of been heavily involved in sports betting over the last few years similarly to myself ......i came into sports betting around 4 years ago too because i was fed up of odds being stacked against me in casinos & machines

since then my knowledge of football across the continent is very good and like you i too i can see turning points in games and can also see dynamics changing as there are many factors at work such as physgolical , physical and then of course statistical

unlike any other form of betting this allows us an edge

i find it is at this point where gambling addiction is sometimes able to take control over me as i will try to increase my edge far beyond what is available in the market to the point where i will turn a winning bet into a losing one

anyway glad you have decided to call a day with it as it does require a lot of commitment and energy

for me i am still somewhat attached to it as im worried if i let that go i will return to casino gambling which is a whole different kettle of fish

GL

Mate we might have been able to hit a few straight winners in the past but does that matter? No it doesn’t as we will just gamble it all back and more, gambling ignites some weird greed within me and no figure would ever be enough. I think it’s because when I’m lost in the madness of it all the rushes/escapism are more important than the money I’m using to bet with. I used to stake large amounts on games then amp the stakes up if things were going ‘well’ to pump up the adrenaline like a true J****E/addict. After the rushes fade I’m left thinking that I should of walked away when ‘up’ at points. I still struggle to let those frustrating memories go and they’ve led me to bet again previously.

Gambling will not make you consistent money, play for long enough and you will crash and burn. Betting on sports has taken away the enjoyment of the spectacle for me, I want to get back to enjoying it for what it is, not for what it’s going to potentially provide.

Let it go buddy, it won’t offer you anything that’s worth having.

Quick note to buy some books on the gambling industry and also advice on how to abstain.

I should also email the gambling commission to request if they have any new information on the release of GAMSTOP.

Hi Tony , you talk a lot about the process and theorise a lot of gambling and being resolute but can I ask a question ? How are you ? Do you feel happy , sad , vulnerable ? I’m not getting much feeling of any emotions from you . Would be interested to see so that some of us could perhaps offer support

Generally I’m a relaxed and upbeat person but I can suffer spells of low self esteem, anxiety and a general feeling of disappointment of where I’m at in life. At times I’ve clearly looked to gambling to escape these issues but I want to face them now. I’ve worked really hard the past couple of weeks to clear debts, all of that money could of be spent on me/the people that are important to me over Easter but instead it’s going into the hands of a lendor. Oh well, 4 days with no work where I should try hard to enjoy life, there is so much to appreciate really when you open your eyes. I can feel my mind changing if that makes sense, I can’t give gambling any attention or reminisce over past events whenever possible. The past is gone and there is only the future, I know and I’m sure my future will be better if I continue to focus on my recovery.

Happy Easter everyone, let’s make it a gamble free one.

Well done Tony . Word of advice if it helps . Don’t get too obsessed with trying to throw all of your spare money at debts . Speak to the creditors and tell them you are a compulsive gambler and if you can make any payment arrangements . I’m afraid trying to clear these with all of your money whilst is a good idea , won’t leave you with any cash to enjoy the benefits of stopping . It could also leave you wanting to gamble to get money again if that makes sense . Just my thoughts and if it’s too late this month then perhaps think about it next month ?

I’ve never defaulted on a repayment and I believe I’ve somewhat protected my credit score, if I can repay almost everything before my 23rd which is May the 10th then I can have true closure on this. Hopefully GAMSTOP is released soon too, I can’t stress enough how quickly I’d be on to register.

Wasn’t sure if you were deep in debt or not . Seems like you have a good plan