Stopping

Enjoy it Paul, and think of freedom from that addiction :))

Catch you soon.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Paul,

Thanks for dropping by and sending me a hug :))) am ok thanks, no luck with the house, :((( Finally finished painting it,

Keep strong my friend and keep remembering how soul destructing gambling really is.we can never win, b cause if we do we won't stop.

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Hi Paul and thanks for the post , I'm hoping this is the right thread to respond on ?

Firstly , it's always good to talk to a fellow fob't sufferer , jeez I've lost some money on those things and can totally relate to what your saying .

I do have debt's as a result of my affair with fobt's about 7k at the mo , which has reduced from an initial 10 k or so when I stopped last September , so its going down and with no further borriowing , I''m lucky that I could pay it off at a push but I choose not to , simply because I feel it serves as a reminder to me about the place I was in and I'm quite happy with that arrangement .

Look Paul you asked me about "letting go of the losses " , well I believe that it's the only way to move forward with your life, by totally accepting it's gone and it's never coming back you then take away gambling's hold on you , it's ability to drag you back with a justifyable excuse , all the time you don't accept , you still want to chase , to get revenge if you like .

That's one thing I totally agree on with GA , although I've never felt the need to attend , There stance on totall acceptance that gambling has you beat is 100 % right , it beat me into submission in a huge way , in a way that made me contemplate ending it all just so I could escape it's evil grip !.

I honestly don't have a magic cure , just a different mindset nowaday's , it used to be a place to run and hide if life got a bit tough or I didn't want to deal with something , just an escape really but now I just take each day as it comes and instead of running I stand and deal with issues as they arise .

I've also realised that after all these years "You cannot win " the lightbulbs finally gone on in my head !! , Ilook back at my years of gambling and think " did I ever really win " , sure I've had winnings and some pretty decent ones but have I got anythking to show for it now ? , absolutely not the winnings are just borrowed and all they ever really meant was more ammunition to chuck back into a Fob't ., thats why I know that I can never have another bet , it's just not safe for me to do that , sure I could go into a bookie#s and have a couple of dog or horse bets which were never a problem but then I'd look at those evil little feckkers stood in the corner and I'd be back to square one !.

It's not all been as easy as I sometimes make out , even acouple of weeks ago I tried to justify myself going back in a bookies by thinking that " I just wanted to see how I felt now about it all " w*f ! I knew exactly what I would have done , so instead I came on here and ran it by the good people of this forum , those that have been there and understand like you the way our mind works ,all those people in so many words told me to " Stop being an Ar.se " and it worked , thays what so good about this place , it gives you a chance tio rationalise your thought's and as Oldham say's " It's better to ramble than gamble ".

I hope that helps explain my take on things Paul but if you want to chat further or just want a bit of support you know where I am buddy !

Take care and best wishes AL

Hi Paul,

Sorry to read that you are still struggling to overcome this horrible addiction.

Great post from Alan, to you, and I just want to add am here as always walking along side with you, when needed.

Take care and keep safe

Suzanne xxx

I just want to say a thank-you to the people who offer advice on here, without the caring and sometimes not caring (because I/you don't deserve a caring post at that time) I would be in a really bad place (it's bad enough as it is), but i am trying to-day to look at what i have, not what i don't have. Lots of things on this site to remember, the 'triangle of time, money, location, a day at a time, money can be replaced over time, well a little can. Lets hope these small but very valuable sayings will finally begin to hit home ............................ otherwise it will be the steets in the end where i will be.

Hi Gamcare, day 2, feel like rubbish after latest losses, if only these feelings were there before you paid for your form of gambling, you would never gamble again. This time I am determined to stick at it ....................... Iv'e said that before. I guess you can't beat it on your own. Looking forward to seeing my counsellor tomorrow, she get's it, I am placing a lot of faith in her ability to get me on the right path away from this tough addication.

Hey Paul , have some faith in yourself too buddy , you can do , you know you can ! Stay positive my friend ....Al

Evening Paul,

We all need all the support we can get, but remember the faith has to come from within you as well, proud of you for seeing a counsellor tomorrow, and looking forward to it.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks for the support Suzanne, yes the determination has to come from within. I have been reading about addication on this site, and many of the traits i have in my life have been summed up on here relating to addication. I have after my latest losses, lost all interest in life, I have no hobbies, very few friends, a partner who i see intermittently. A classic case of a bored lonely getting old man. I know what I have to do, it is all over this site, the wise words, i have to achieve it from now on, i cannot and will not succumb again. Thanks again for your post - Paul

Paul, this addiction not only breaks us financially it makes us introvert, mentally it does more damage, It has taken me 2 years to actually have contact with my brothers, and sadly that's through an illness with a family member, but the ice is now broken on that one lol, it really is a slow progress my friend, all your relapses are part of the start of this process, one day at a time honestly is simple but true advice:))) I am getting there slowly but surely and so will you Paul, Infact you have been on your way for a while now, even though you may not think so :))

((((PAUL)))) hug cos you deserve one

Suzanne xxx

Xxx positivity xxx

Suzanne xxx

Day 3, at work, it's been a struggle to turn up this week, but brave face, keep the mask of hidden addication up. The depression that gambling losses bring is so enormous, why do I never remember these destructive feelings. Have to try and deal with these head issues, cousellor at lunch for the umpsteenth time, will I ever learn. Catch u later diary.

Afternoon Paul , How I remember those feelings of covering myself to the outside world , all around is great but inside were in turmoil ?.

Whatever happens Paul your facing your issues and dealing with them so give yourself a huge pat on the back for that , " will I ever learn " ? of course you will , everyday is about learning but sometimes just like in our school day's it just takes a bit of time for the lesson to sink in , I hope the councilling goes well my friend .

Stay safe Buddy ! ...........................Alan

Evening diary, the counsellor was very good as always, she knows all the answers, I just have never adhered to them. It can't be easier for her seeing a grown man dissolve into tears in front of her. I guess I will have to try so so hard to put the answers into practice. Thanks to Alan and Suzanne for posting, it means a lot to someone like me, to have someone who understands the despair that follows in the day's after a massive loss. Finding it tough to be positive about anything this week, I know a way of enjoying life will return, I just need patience and sheer bloody mindness not to gamble again. Catch you later diary - Paul

Well done Paul, not easy, but you did it.

Suzanne xxx