Degenerate IX

Found you! well done on your half century. Phil.

Day 58

Back working again. Phew. Things looking better financially and I am keeping busy. Not as much free time so it is a bit easier not to gamble.

I paid a large chunk of my bills in advance with my redundancy pay. Once I start getting a salary I should find myself with some extra money. I will need to start clearing some debts. It is pathetic that i am worrying about money coming in.

Day 64

I realise I am an all or nothing type on various things. I need to stop overdoing things.

• I can be gamble free for days and when I relapse I gamble heavily.
• I can control my diet for weeks then I overeat heavily for days or weeks.
• I overdo training in the gym. I tend to go everyday most weeks rather than pace myself every other day. Which is not good for progress.
• When I watch an episode of something I end up watching the whole box set and the rest of the series within days.
• Visit GamCare too often.

I think this is related to my addiction. I am going to try and pace myself with things. Perhaps play a video game once a week, watch some episodes of a box set and sort out my diet and training.

Day 66

I was in the bookies today. I didnt gamble. I ordered some fast food in the shop next door and the place filled up while I was waiting so I went outside and wandered into the bookies. I picked a horse running in the first race and it won at quite a decent price. I do not feel gutted about missing out on a winner. I think thats progress.

I am only thinking of all the money I would have lost after I got the first win. I know I need to stop doing this.

You need to stop worrying about your harmless transient addictions like box sets & GC & stay the hell away from the bookies Deg! You can make all the excuses under the sun as to why you 'ended up' in there (again) but they're all nonsense, you control your actions...The only reason we should be stepping one foot inside is to self exclude! Not feeling gutted about 'missing out' on a winner should not be your overriding concern...C'mon man, give your recovery a chance & stay away - ODAAT

Degen, ODAAT is right, and I am sorry to say that....there is no point in torturing your soul any further.....keep at it matey...you will get there...

Julie x

Hey Deg , It's that old saying of " If you hang around a Hairdressers long enough , your gonna get a haircut " the trouble is that kind of barber's gonna scalp you given half the chance ! .

There's never a reason to put yourself in that position , so maybe find a takeaway further afield or just order online ? .

Stay safe my friend :))

Thanks all.

Yeah I know. I will try and stay away.

Day 67

I kept busy today. No thoughts of going in bookies. No glances towards them as I passed. Later while watching news, I was surprised to learn the Derby ran today. Usually a race I look forward to and have a large bet on. I am glad I didnt know as it may have been a trigger. I very much doubt I would have been on the 40/1 winner so my luck continues for as long as I never have another bet.

About to watch the Champions league final I think I have never seen so many bookmaker adverts in one ad break.

degenerate wrote:

Day 67

I kept busy today. No thoughts of going in bookies. No glances towards them as I passed. Later while watching news, I was surprised to learn the Derby ran today. Usually a race I look forward to and have a large bet on. I am glad I didnt know as it may have been a trigger. I very much doubt I would have been on the 40/1 winner so my luck continues for as long as I never have another bet.

About to watch the Champions league final I think I have never seen so many bookmaker adverts in one ad break.

Hey - in the same boat. All of my gambling has been sports betting, basketball. Right now the NBA finals are on, and I am deliberately not watching it since I know it could cause me to gamble.

Here are my 2 cents, which has helped for me. 7 days clean with little urges:

1) Don't follow sports.

2) Don't check the odds of horses etc. You will be less tempted if you do not know the price of it.

3) Accept that you have lost money

4) Plan for the future taking gambling out of the equation. Think about something that you really want to buy , for me a new laptop, mortgage and start saving for it. That way you will feel as though there is a real purpose for stopping.

Day 71

I got a letter from 2 of my credit card providers today. Both of them are reducing my credit limit. I dont know why this has put me in a bad mood. I had planned on cancelling both of the cards by the end of the year. Thoughts of gambling heavy to win enough to pay remaining amounts in full and tell them both where they can shove their cards.

I paid a large chunk of my debts with my redundancy pay a coiple months ago. I intended to use my card while unemployed. I am lucky I managed to get a job fairly quickly. Phew.

Hi degenerate.

The first paragraph of your post is the compulsive gambler in you (in all of us). It will take time to change that mindset BUT

The 2nd positive part is the recovering compulsive gambler.

Congrats on the new job! That 100 day mark is just around the corner.

Stay strong.

Thanks tommy. I would still like to be able to manage my money. Having money in the bank should make me feel more secure not stressed. Anyway, I am improving a bit. Hopefully I will be able to save my money one day.

Day 77

I had a nice expensive-ish meal for my Day 75 reward. I am feeling a bit better about abstaining from gambling. I am finding things a bit easier. I will not be complacent though.

Day 80

I was in a bookies today. I was passing a bookmaker when I saw a dog race was just about to go off and I was in there before I knew it ready to watch the race unfold. I misjudged things as the dogs were not in the traps yet and I realised I had some time to have a bet on the race. I then left the place. I was not in there long and I left fairly quickly. Seemed like instinct I dont remember the thought process before being in the shop.